So I'm at home and in a pretty decent mood, I just heard from a certain 'friend' of mine and loadedness is immenent. It's about fucking time! I will be trying out the new product and letting him know what I think. For all his bitching and moaning Casey is pretty stoked as well. I am going to go easy this time as my so-called mini kick lasted almost as long as a normal one last time and it sucked!
I will NOT get strungout again! Maybe if I tell myself that enough times it will actually happen. I don't hold out too much hope but at least I won't drag Casey down with me. Even if I have to keep it hidden I won't let him get like he was. I'm not stingy, I would split my dope with him down to the last cotton, I just don't want him to get all fucked up again becasue of me.
If it hadn't been for the fact that Casey was here when I got the message, I may not have even said anything. He would have been better off. It's funny that I don't give a shit about myself, only him. I'm sure some of you are gonna think that my concern is rooted in selfishness, that I just want all that dope to myself. Not true! Money is not an issue, I could buy enough smack for the both of us to stay loaded for a month and then some. I just know how unhappy he gets when he goes overboard and starts to get dopesick. I won't do that to him again.
I won't lie, now that I know I can get some H I am really excited! It won't be until next week some time but hey, I'll be patient or try to be anyway. I didn't do any speed tonight even though it was offered, I just wasn't feelin' it.The boys got me to promise that I'd party tomorrow night....we'll see.
If you look at my pic above , you can see the earrings Richie gave me, he is such a sweet kid, I'm gonna miss him if he gets locked up, Eric too.
So that's it, I started at zero and next week I'll be there all over again, I wish I could say I was sorry but that would be bullshit. I guess we'll see what happens. I love all y'all, even the bitches that hate me. Kisses, Melody
