Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Happy H-olidays

Gangly many scars, so little effort.
Fishnets cover a multitude of sins but some sins are just too deep to disguise. And like I told the elite of the SSFBHG (supersecretfacebookheroingroup), YES I dress like Dr Frank N. Furter on any given afternoon and just cuz you don't, doesn't make you better than me! Take that (not so SSFBHG!).
I wasn't planning on posting anything today but due to an unexpected-expected delivery, I am high as fuck and felt like making my presence felt. Haha, like anyone reads this bullshit anyway. If you do, my condolences and I hope you at least get a laugh out of it, God help any poor slob who takes me seriously. I don't take myself seriously and they (whoever they are) do say you should never ask anyone to do something you wouldn't do yourself.
I've been very subdued, chemically and otherwise...well aside from the speed but does that really count? I'm still the mellowest bitch you ever saw, even on gak, so I think it does not. Anyone who presumes to know differently because of some geeked out facebook-ing that was accomplished during my last foray into meth-aphysics, can SHUT THE FUCK UP! Please and thank you.
I am nothing if not polite, even when I'm advising you to batten down the gum bumping and not spend every minute of your day trying to gainsay me. It will get you nowhere, I'll just say more and then you'll have to say more and it will never, ever end because if there's one thing that has been proven time and again...I really don't know when (or how) to shut up. Ever.
Except now, maybe. I'm kind of at a loss but that could be because I'm slowly getting more and more fucked up and soon, if I have anything to do with it, coherent thought will be a thing of the past. For instance, right this very minute, I'm gonna walk away from the computer and shoot some more dope into my thoroughly undeserving self.
Mmmmm, refreshing. And it only took 2 minutes, that vein in my thigh (refer to photo), has stood up to multiple jab sessions like a champ and as of now, has been my go-to spot for....oh, at least a month. The track on it is wicked, like 7 inches long, though you can't see it in the pic. I took that back around Halloween but only posted it in the super secret FB heroin group, haha. Along with some other photos of me in my Darth Vader underoos, doing unseemly things with a rig full of dope, haha. It's ok, everyone there does, I'm not alone and keep in mind that to a junky, doing anything other than injecting a rig full of dope, is unseemly.
I've been working on getting my fav Internet pussy, Mizzzzz K1tten, to come back for another visit, a follow-up to the Joan Jett adventure. Kinda wondering if maybe I overwhelmed her a bit, she was just off the plane when we drove to Espanola and then jaunted halfway up a mountain in (or around) Taos, in the dark of night, to procure a large amount of H. Granted this was a semi scary place, about 40 minutes from another living soul and mostly inaccessible if you weren't specifically looking for it. The kind of place where they can dismember you, scrap your car and no one will ever be the wiser, even if they were, they wouldn't have a clue where to look. So yeah, a little overwhelming but worth it, I think. We sure got a lot of smack for not a lot of cash and that sounds worth it to me, haha.
I've also been there several times and was used to the setup. It probly didn't help that 'someone' felt he needed to make cute little quips about the fate awaiting uninvited guests and trespassers. We were neither of those things. Or maybe she was just tired from her flight? It did get re-routed to Houston due to the plane catching on fire. Haha, talk about a sign from God that you should NOT go to fucking New Mexico!
Anyway, I hope to convince her to come stay for my birthday, it'll be a gasssssssssssssssss. I'm turning 57, that's not something that happens every day! We need to mark the occasion with...well, with drugs. And then more drugs and THEN maybe some debauched sexual escapades. And then, you guessed it, more drugs. HEY! It's MY fucking birthday and I'll dowhatIwant!
Wait-wait-wait...shot time, por favor. Do I really need another? Nope. Does it matter? NOPE. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm thankful I got my muthafuckin' dope in time for the holiday, it would be disrespectful not to enjoy it. And Thanksgiving is all about overindulgence, lets just try and keep the 'over' away from the 'doses' *wink* no one likes a blue-faced Betty at the table on Turkey Day!
Alright, maybe I should go, I need to load up another issue, take a shower and then find a cute dress to wear tomorrow to V & R's. I will not be cooking this year, well just a dessert, so I need to look extra adorable to distract them all from the fact that I will likely be drooling into my mashed potatoes. Have a grand one, my darlings,


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Your Mother Calls You Puta?

Pic by Maniac. I look more like my fucked up self  here & I think I like it.
I looked over at Richie who had his hand in front of his face so I couldn't see him grinning, Maniac was too-too smug while he waited to see what I would do next and Adrian...he just looked constipated.
My previous statement had pretty much expressed everything I needed to say, I walked over to cholo fuckwad and snatched the keys from his hand. It could've been worse but not by much, I told myself at least it wasn't a Smart Car and got behind the wheel.
Richie spoke up, "Uh, can you lean the seat forward so we can get in back?"
Maniac choke/snorted and turned away but I could see his shoulders shaking, the bastard was enjoying this in a big way.
"All you hilarious motherfuckers can go file in on the other side...two door piece a...and the self satisfied brown trash gets in front."
Manny raised an eyebrow and Rich shoved Ade out of the way, which in turn led to more shoving. I saw a fist get cocked back and screeched, "HEY! Cut that shit out or you can just stay the fuck here, much as I'd love to see you bloody each other up, I just don't have it in me tonight. Be civilized or go home."
"If you need someone to put something in y..." Richie drawled.
"STOP! Stop right fucking therrrrrrrrrre. I don't care if you walk back to Colorado, I'm not putting up with you and you're not putting anything anywhere."
Adrian started to perk up and that annoyed me further, " AND YOU...Scott Pilgrim! You need a tampon for that vagina? One more pout or sigh and I will kick the piss out of you myself."
Maniac snickered and adjusted the seat, indicating that they should climb in. It was accomplished with minimum drama and we were off.
Not too happy to be driving a green marshmallow, I thought I might get some payback by scaring the living shit out of Manny. He's a worse passenger than I am and I'm really, really terrible.
We took the back way to the 550 S. and the roads were all wet and slippery, I smiled and floored the gas pedal. 0-90 in 3.2 minutes, stupid hunk o' crap. Before long we were passing Semis, darting and skittering all over the highway. I glanced over at Maniac, "Not so smug now, are we?"
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." He clutched the shoulder harness.
"Oh no?" I took my hands off the wheel and reached back to take Richie's cigarette, leaning my head against the rest. The little car swerved and I over-overcorrected...with my knees, fun fact: I drive better with my knees than most people do with their hands, haha.
Out of nowhere came this sound, kind of like someone strangling a tea kettle mid-whistle, if you could indeed do such a thing...and then the tea kettle exploded.
Silence... and then I snarked, "You sound like my mother...if my mother was a pussy." (Tandem chuckles from the back).
He forgot all about flaming wrecks and looked at me sideways, "Your mother calls you puta?"
I laughed, "Not to my face."
He snorted but relaxed his grip on the belt, "You really that pissed I got this car?"
I pointed at the rental info that was taped to the window, "You see what that says right there?"
"What, Ford Fiesta?"
"Nah, before that, where it gives the color, read to me what that says."
"That's right, dip-tard, it says 'Metallic Mojito'. Not only am I driving what looks to be an aerodynamic suppository, it's a green one and it goes by the loathsome name of METALLIC MO-HEE-TOE!!"
"Insult to injury." Adrian spoke up.
"Thank you!" It was the first thing he'd said/done that hadn't made me want to kick him. I rolled the window down, flicked the cig butt out and tried to concentrate on the next 2 1/2 hours of driving. It didn't last.
Rich, who was right behind me kept running his fingers up the back of my neck and just being irritating in general. Ade seemed to have gotten himself in hand as I didn't hear any sensitive-type sniffling from his direction.
I had been so caught up in all the bullshit that I never bothered to ask why we were going to Rio Rancho in the first place. It's just outside Albuquerque and usually if we were gonna meet up with anyone it was in ABQ proper but whatever. I was already in it, so no point in worrying about the whys and wheres.
So there I was, driving along, minding my own business and I kept hearing this weird scratching noise. It sounded like velcro being uh...un-velcro-ed? Since I'm neither a toddler nor a senior citizen, I knew that *I* certainly wasn't wearing any and I hoped no one else was either. I didn't have a chance to give it much thought 'cause my cell started cranking out the intro to Rebel Rebel, I pulled it out of my bra (yes that's where it was, don't judge me), tossed it to Manny and told him to hit speaker. It was R-man calling for a progress report.
"What's up?" I felt around for my cigarettes.
"How long til you make Rio Rancho?" *scratch-scratch-scratch-scratchhhhh*
"45 minutes maybe, we just passed San Ysidro." *scratch-scratch*
"Call me when you get in and..." *SCRAAAAAATCHHHH*
I couldn't take it anymore, "WHAT THE that noise!?!
"Feet." Rainman supplied over the speaker.
"Feeeeeet. Maniac's crusty feet on the car mat."
The boys snickered in unison and it took me a minute to process what I'd just been told. I looked over at M, "YOU are disgusting." Back to R-man, "I don't know which is more disturbing, that his feet are capable of producing such a noise or that you recognized it immediately for what it was." Back to M, "What the hell is wrong with you? They make pumice stones for a reason."
Richie snorted, "His feet would FUCK that stone up."
"His shit would rub the crust off everyone else's feet..." Adrian added.
"Ugh, enough...and EEEW!"

It's looking like there will be one more after this, mainly cuz Imma lazy cow and I just don't feel like reading through another butt-load of my writing and trying to make it post-able. I'll get to it, if anyone gives a fuck and if you don't...well then, I'll just run out and drown myself in a shallow pool of my own tears. It bothers me that much, bahahaha etc etc.
Anyway, I have things to clean and stuff to smo...uh, take care of, maybe I'll tell y'all about it sometime.

xo Melody Lee

Oh yeah, if you haven't already, check out my girl at Eyelick, she's a doll.