Friday, December 9, 2011

No One Really Wants Me to Make Sense, Any-Fucking-Way.

Being not in the mood to write something entertaining or informative is nothing new with me, lacking the motivation to do anything of consequence is just one of the things that makes me irritating to others. However I am ALWAYS in the mood to take and have others take, stupid photos of me, especially when I am impaired in some way. Photograph me in my bra/underwear, half submerged in a tub of water? Capital idea, let's do so immediately. You think I'm kidding.
There's scores of stuff like that and with any luck, it will stay locked away on a few select computers until I piss someone off enough and they decide to make a slide show or something. I'm resigned to this, it'll happen eventually as I'm always pissing off the people closest to me.
Okay, so there might be one or two pics that I don't hate, that might show up here because let's face it, I just can't help myself and you can't really tell that I'm wearing pink hot pants. Feel free to forget that I mentioned owning any such thing.
Why do I feel the need to repeatedly embarrass myself? You may as well ask why water is wet, it just is and I just do. Would you believe it's due to my not getting enough love as a child, thus driving me to seek it out in unhealthy ways? Nah, I didn't think you would.
It's utter bullshit anyway, I got plenty of love, even though I did my best to make my family hate me. Not on purpose but just because I was and still am, completely spoiled and selfish and only care about me-me-me. I'm a bitch, I make people sorry they love me, which causes them to hate me and consequently themselves because of their inability to stop. Is that some fucked up shit or what? How do I do it? It's a gift, I give love a bad name. I think Bon Jovi wrote a song about me...
Right, so I'm not totally least I'm fairly sure I'm not and I have gone out of my way to help people on occasion. My family could never understand why I would put myself out for my friends. Evidently I'm stupid, in addition to being a selfish bitch.
I went to buy points last weekend and the pharmacy tech flirted shamelessly and then called me love, after which he became so flustered that he dropped the box on the floor. It was sweet and terribly satisfying as he was not unattractive. I like that he decided to hit on me, even though I was buying something socially unacceptable. It's not like he thought I was a diabetic, I was high as shit and not doing anything to indicate otherwise. I think I even had bruises all across my chest, which must’ve been incredibly HAWT! Haha.
Those of you who think he just figured he'd get the junky to blow him in the public toilet, do shut the fuck up. Can't you let me have the illusion for once!?! Fuckers.
And so what if he did? It was still cute and he was even age appropriate...somewhat. Moving on.
I took a pic of Maniac's freakish feet, they truly have to be seen to be believed. Honestly don't know how I didn't notice until the car incident. It must have been my brain blocking it out for the sake of my mental health. I'll post it when I finish that story, I'm warning you though, it will put you off feet for a good 6 months and if you already have a problem with feet, it may well break you.
Note to self, when a tweeker's sketchy looking girlfriend locks herself in the bathroom with your VIBRATING microdermabrasion thingy, you should kick down the fucking door in order to avoid having to replace it. Some things just don't wash off...EVER-EVER-EVER-EV-ER! Hey, guess what my new status is gonna be, hahaha. Why do I let these people in my house??? Ugh.
Oh and for anyone who thinks it's a good idea to send me youtube clips of their 'awesome' indie band...DON'T. And please don't ask me what I think, I can guarantee you don't wanna know. What did I do to make you think I would appreciate something that sounds like that!?! Can you let me know, I would like to make sure I NEVER do it again.
Have you even read anything here? I think I've been more than clear about my feelings regarding effeminate boys staggering under the weight of too much hair product and ridiculous side-swept hair styles. The only thing we have in common is a desperate need to capture ourselves on camera, guys in Hello Kitty T-shirts just plain creep me out.
Besides, I thought scene boys grew up and turned into hipsters? Just so you know, I find Buddy Holly specs and ironic mustaches just as abhorrent as dudes with stupid hair and rainbow heart hoodies, so it doesn't much matter. You look 20 and despite what you may have heard, that make you waaaaaaay too fucking OLD for me, hahaha. That was a joke.
I think it's time for me to go, I'm sure there's something around here for me to get high on, or someone for me to get...never you mind. It's a mad, mad world and I don't make the rules, so why the fuck should I hafta live by 'em? Does that make sense, it shouldn't, it's 5am for fuck's sake.
Love and all that sorta tripe,
M-E-L-O-D-Y. Why? Because we LIKE you! M-O-U-S-LEEEEEEE.