Saturday, June 26, 2010

Bloody messessssssssss.

This giant litter box they call New Mexico is literally draining the life out of me. It's Friday night and what the fuck am I doing? I can tell you what I'm not doing, I'm not getting the hell out the house to go do something ill advised and I'm not high. FUCK am I not high! I am in fact as far from high as you can get, meaning that I am sick, sick, sick. Like ready to drive 6 hours to go score if it wasn't almost midnight sick.
I'm such a pussy now that a mild edgy feeling is enough to make me pace the house all night looking for lost cottons and contemplating the syringe full of coagulated blood sitting on my nightstand. Seriously, I'm weighing the consequences of what might happen if I cook out the blood and pop it. It's only about a month old and yes at the time I found myself reluctant to toss it out because it contained enough heroin to knock me down...but it will almost certainly mean a wicked abscess and I'm low on Keflex.
Decisions, decisions!
If I was smart I'd shoot it into the toilet and be done but the junky in me finds that beyond abhorrent so I'll leave it where it is and hope that a few more hours of this restlessness will produce an outcome I'm comfortable with. Maybe I'll go to sleep? Maybe not.
I snatched the keys to Casey's truck and ransacked it, looking for pills that I know are there somewhere but he is too much of a Nazi to dole out, even though he isn't gonna take them himself. The fact that they were mine to begin with is lost on him.
Since he happens to be one of those wretched creatures that can force sleep while dopesick, he isn't too concerned with my malaise. Sufficed to say he thinks I'm malingering. It has been over a week and at this point I'm probly kicking suboxone not dope but that doesn't make me feel better at all! He suggested I do some theraputic house cleaning until I feel better, I suggested he go bugger himself with a pitchfork. How am I to do the Devil's work if these hands don't remain perfectly idle? Exactly!
If I wanted to I could hunt down some overpriced oxy or even some free speed but I'm not quite there yet. Doing that means subjecting myself to some kind of drama and/or idiocy and I'm just too wilted to deal with it.
I stopped the subs 3 days ago and haven't slept since and that doesn't bode well for anyone that comes within 50ft of me. I'm twitchy, easily annoyed and have the odd (yet somehow comforting) feeling that grinding my foot into someones face might be just what I need.
Adrian is banging some girl from Aztec and Maniac is way too eager to make introductions. Why I should care is the question of the hour. I don't really but I've heard (bet you can guess from who) that she is less than thrilled when my name is mentioned and if that wench gives me so much as the stink eye, I will knock it out of her head and shove it up her ass! I'm not terribly stable right now and am actually giggling at the picture of that in my head, not a good sign.
Adrian is a doll but I can't bang him so it stands to reason that someone else should but if that someone is stupid enough to think that she can engage me in some lame cooze bitch fest, she is sorely mistaken. I will knock her on her ass before she finishes the first sentence...and then I will go to jail. Girls like that always call the cops.
Christ, am I making any sense right now?
I've decided that the next person who says "F-bomb" within striking distance is gonna geeeeeeet it! That also goes for," Amaze-balls" do these people hear what is coming out of their heads??? I have along list of shit that irritates me no end, it includes ironic mullets, pork pie hats and crocs, pity the fool who leaves the house sporting all three, at least if I'm around. Good thing I didn't go to Turkey with Regina, according to her I've just described the majority of German tourists she came across.
My head is a mess right now, one half is saying that I should go kneel on Casey's chest til he gives up the pills and the other half is remembering that Faith No More sued the Care Bears...what the fuck is going on???
My favorite pussy is up in arms because my phone was out of commission for a's back on Kitty Kat, same number as before, just switched vonage to comcast, no biggie. Problem with the phone is that if you answer it people start getting the idea you wanna talk to 'em. Not aimed at you K, jut sayin' is all. Call my cell.
Espanola got hit by the Feds on June 5th (I think) and it's made things inconvenient as they gaffled up 75% of the people I knew there. I wonder how many pics they have of me? Hmmmm...
Better go now before I go completely incoherent, I got's some blood to boil.
P.S. listen to The Murder City Devils, In Name and Blood. I don't love every single song on there but pressgangs, crying cowboys and drunken homicide never sounded so good. Plus it reminds me of Mikey and that's never a bad thing.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Vapid, Trivial and Not a Little Gross

I have some utterly self involved rant all written and ready to post but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It's not often that it happens that way, being in love with yourself has it's perks but not tonight. Usually I would be perfectly content to publish it and then wait for all the douchey comments that would inevitably follow so that I could lord my ability to justify any damn thing over all the anons who dared question my absolutely brilliant and in no way flawed point of view. I am perfect and therefore immune to the questionable logic that plagues the imperfect masses.
 Haha, if there's one person out there that takes this last (and unbelievably run on) sentence as gospel, it will make my week, several times over in fact! Lighten the fuck up for Christ sake, find something better to do with your time and give someone else a chance at righteous indignation, you've been hogging it all up, leave some for the rest of us.
So I'm going for something inane, a little bit vapid and maybe just plain trivial. I am, after all a normal girl with normal issues and though I choose not to go on about such things, I too have days when I just don't feel fresh.
Don't be afraid, although I have no compunctions about bringing up my past as a needle toting turbo whore, I'll keep mentions of festering lady parts to a minimum. If anyone is wondering, I have no such afflictions, having been partial to condoms during my stint as a rent a hole. It's the practical thing to do and has saved me untold amounts on Valtrex and Cipro. A girl has to think about her health after all *snickering* and that old slag's tale about blowing rock smoke on suspect genitalia...well if you believe that, then you just deserve to catch the herpes!
Anyway, back to the present, my hair has gotten unbearably long and I'm at the point where if I don't do something soon, I may just shave it all off. I'm also growing tired of snide Lady Gaga comments! Lets get one thing straight, if I look like a bleached out tranny so be it but if there's one thing I know is that I've pulled off some version of this look for the last decade or more. I don't look like that crazy cunt, bitch looks like me! Whether that's good or bad is up for interpretation but there it is.
So I might and I stress MIGHT be picking some other color for my hair and may even be open to suggestions. As long as it isn't anything that looks like it might be natural, can't have that. Maybe I should hold a contest?
Well I think that's about it and I definitely fulfilled my goal of a vapid yet trivial post, I even threw in something to put you off your food, just for giggles. I hope you appreciate it! *sigh* I'm always thinking of others.
Weird, for some reason I was just reminded of the time (one of  'em), when we were getting tailed by the cops day and night and how I used to make the runners carry all my bags when I went shopping. Haha, being my bitch was part of the job description. Plus it made it more entertaining for the police, watching me drag Frog, Jimmy and Joe around to all manner of shops, loading them down with packages and making them get manicures. Maybe I was a little bored and that makes me mean but fuck it, they got paid damn well! I bet Anna remembers some of that, heheh.
Hmmm, that's making me smile, I may hafta write more on "The Tower" chronicles later.
~Melody Lee