Wednesday, July 29, 2009

NOT-so-little red riding hood-rat aka the second half of my catfight episode

So I was leaning on the couch arm, trying to ignore the other two bitches in the room. It was getting kinda hard though, Gabby's friend kept saying things under her breath. That shit irritates the hell outta me! I was trying to be good, telling myself that R-man had his cash and my services weren't gonna be needed but that goddamned muttering was driving me up the wall! Combined with the looks she was shooting at me when she thought I wasn't looking, it was getting REAL hard to stay cool. Maniac was watching the whole thing in between hits, nodding at me and mouthing "Do it, you know you want to." He came over and crouched down on the floor in front of me so we could talk without being too obvious, "Check it out homegirl, that bitch it talkin' shit, you gonna let her disrespect you like that?"
I rolled my eyes at him and said, "I know what your trying to do pendejo, you just wanna see us scrap!"
He laughed, "So what? Go show that india what's up, I know you want to. Mira, look she's doing it again, damn girl you just gonna sit here? You need to go regulate."
I stood up and stretched,"What I need to do is get the fuck outta this stank ass trailer! It smells like dog shit in here." I said it loud enough to be heard by everyone in said trailer. Maniac smiled at me and stood up, his work was done...fucker!
The Navajo girl looked past me to R-man and said, "Hey, why don't you guys get the fuck outta here? You did what you came to do, now split. I don't know what you're trying to prove bringing this bitch up in here."
R-man ignored her, more concerned with his pipe that anything else.I reached over, plucked the cigg from behind his ear, lit it and said, "You got something to say to me girl? I'm standing right fucking here..."
She heaved herself up and kept talking at Rainman, "What the fuck? You cruise in here like you got something to prove, you need to get the fuck on."
I got to my feet and moved to stand in front of R-man,"You need to sit the fuck down, shut your mouth and mind your business. This shit don't concern you."
She walked towards me, "Fuck that, this is my homegirl's place, I'm making it my business."
I just shook my head and smiled, "Bitch you don't have a clue, your homegirl is lucky she didn't get her ass beat. She should be grateful I don't do it anyway, just for wasting my time."
I leaned back on the couch arm, passed my cigg to Maniac and took the pipe from R-man, taking a long hit. I waved my hand in her direction as if dismissing her, "You needs to piss off."
She walked up to me, "Who the fuck you think you are, coming in here acting all hard?" She looked over my shoulder at R-man,"What the fuck, you bring her in here like she's the big bad wolf or something, fuck that."
I took another hit and handed the pipe back, pushing off the couch I blew a cloud of cryssy in her face and drawled, "Bitch I will blow you motherfucking house down!." I hafta say I was extremely proud of that comeback, it was damn good, probly one of my best but I was losing patience and getting tired of all this back and forth shit so I followed it with,"Sit the fuck down and shut your hole, before I shut it for you!"
She opened her mouth to say something else and I just shook my head and clocked her one right in the face. She didn't see it coming and it stunned her for a minute.
What happened right after is kinda blurry but I remember ending up on the floor and trying to keep her from using her weight to pin me down. I put my knee in her gut and kept socking her in the head, just trying to keep her off me. That girl was way HEAVY! She got me good on the side of the face and busted my lip with her elbow.
I jabbed her in the throat and she went to the side trying to keep me from doing it again (getting punched in the throat is a motherfucker, believe you me) and I managed to get out from under her. I was tasting blood and it pissed me off, I spit it at her face and said, "Stupid cooze, you busted my fucking lip!"
She was still re-learning how to breathe, so I got to my feet and kicked her in the side. I looked up and Maniac was on the edge of his seat, grinning at me, R-man was rolling his eyes and Gabby was nowhere to be seen. I spat on the floor and saw that she was trying to lever her big self up so I kicked her again for good measure. I leaned over and dribbled blood in her face and she grabbed one of my legs and knocked me on my ass.
This set off another bout of grappling where she resorted to hair pulling, stupid cunt. I HATE girly fights! If your gonna scrap, why bother with all that shit, get to swinging or piss off! Lame-ass bitch!
She ripped out a chunk of my hair and scratched the shit outta my neck. I clocked her in the face a few times and then wrapped my fingers in her greasy mop and started pounding her head against the corner of the coffee table. I think I busted it open because I heard Maniac say, "OH SHIT!" and he and R-man came over and pulled us apart.
They got me up and wouldn't let me go (I was trying to kick her in the face), I elbowed Maniac in the ribs and he dragged me out the door. He took me to the car, sat me on the trunk and started laughing, jumping back when I tried to kick him in the balls. I was NOT pleased! I don't like leaving shit undone, it doesn't matter if it ends with me getting pulverized, it needs to be OVER!
I've gotten beat within an inch of my life by guys twice her size, I'm not afraid of an ass kicking, what I don't like is unfinished business.
Rainman came out of the trailer and handed me his pipe, I was feeling a lil wilted and it fixed me right up haha. We got in the car, me riding shotgun (as usual) and went back to R-man's place. Maniac kept up a running commentary the whole ride, highlighting key moments of my little tussle. I just leaned back and smoked it up, the cryssy keeping any aches and pains at bay. There was a dull throbbing on the left side of my face and my lip felt puffy but that was about it, nothing really hurt.
We got to the homestead and R-man presented me with a fat sack of meth and a new point, bless his heart. I went into the bathroom, fixed it up and managed to thread a vein on the top of my left hand. That shit burned like the devil but it didn't matter, the rush was on and I was oblivious to anything but the chemicals running through me, stealing my breath and making me feel like I was in free fall.
As soon as I was able to function, I went to the mirror and took inventory of all my ouchies. I had a HUGE bruise forming on my left cheek and my lip was split, inside and out. I had scratches behind my right ear, curving down the side of my neck, almost to my collar bone. All in all it wasn't too bad. Casey was gonna shit when he saw me though.
I ended up getting home just before he woke up. I slipped into bed seconds before the alarm went off and tried to play dead. He woke up, turned on the light and started getting dressed. I though I was gonna get away with it when I heard, "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO YOUR FACE?"
I would have buried my head in the pillow but it hurt too much, so I opened one eye and said, "I didn't do shit." He rolled his eyes and started sermonizing about crazy bitches who come home black and blue. Fine thing coming from a motherfucker who gets in more brawls than anyone I know.
I pulled the covers over my head and said nothing, he still hasn't asked me what really went down. He just knows I didn't get smacked around by a dude, which is what he really cares about. He knows if I get into it with some broad, it's on me. Fuck, even if I scrapped with some guy, I think it would still be on me but he doesn't see it that way. Haha, old fashioned I guess.
So that's it, I've got some snaps of me all bruised up, I might put 'em up later. I just started taking this weird med cocktail of Lyrica, Neurontin and Percocet (with a lil oxy thrown in for good measure), so I'll probly be posting all kinds of crazy shit. That stuff is INSANE! It makes me feel like I'm on H and mescaline, all fucked in the head, it's dreeeeaaamy!
Anyway, I'm outta here, I'll see all y'all mothafuckas later, I need to go do...something. Oh and I'm finally getting my ink, Mario is gonna drill on me next week. He's gonna finish the stars and do the stitches around my wrist, it's gonna look cool as fuck! I haven't done any H since last weekend but I get paid in 2 days and I'm pretty sure I'll be headed to Espanola as soon as I hit the bank on Friday, it's inevitable. I'm a fiend, what can I say? As long as the bills are paid, who cares what I spend my cash on anyway?
So I'm out, kisses and all that other shit, try not to get too excited. XOXO
~Melody Lee

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The shallow end of the gene pool.

So Anna is one of my best friends but I make no excuses for her crazy ass sister. I haven't actually seen Margaret since we all lived with Butch but I remember her juuuust fine. She was this strange hybrid of heroin slamming cock tease and religious zealot. We used to call her Attila the nun.
She would spend the whole day out hustling for dope and then nod out over her bible at night. God had told her it was wrong to fuck out of wedlock but I guess he was a bit more understanding when it came to shooting dope. Hey if being a fiend falls into a grey area, who the fuck am I to say any different?
Anyway, she routinely let guys of our acquaintance think they were gonna get laid but then heard God calling her to prayer at the critical moment. On a side note, God was just fine about letting her take as long as she needed to fix, considerate no?
So a while back I was talking to another friend and he told me that when she lived with him she would get loaded and wax philosophical. You know, about the usual things, life, death, religion, messages from God in Duran Duran songs. Yes you read that right, MESSAGES FROM GOD IN MOTHERFUCKING DURAN DURAN S-O-N-G-S!
Apparently Rio is a metaphor for original sin, Girls on Film is about greed and Hungry Like the Wolf is alluding to the search for proof of the divine.
Uh no bitch, her name is Rio and she dances on the sand, I'd say it doesn't go much deeper than that. Girls on film is pretty damn self explanatory and who knows what the fuck Hungry like the Wolf is about but I think I can safely say it's not the search for salvation.
No disrespect to Simon LeBon and crew but crafty theologians they ain't!
I suppose people can interpret things any way they like, I myself am capable of rationalizing and justifying just about anything you can throw at me but come the fuck on! Duran Duran? Really?
The bitch is clearly off her rocker and I am fully qualified to judge heheh. Just because there was a giant angel in Barbarella and a guy called Duran Duran...
OK, wait now maybe....
Nah, fuck that noise! She is batshit insane and last I heard she became a dental assistant because God wanted her to clean peoples teeth. Too bad he didn't see fit to remind her to brush her own before they all fell out.
So yeah, I was thinking about all that and thought I would share it with you. You can thank me some other time but really it was my pleasure :)
Besides, it gave me a brief respite from having to plow through the second half of my catfight episode. La-zyyyyyy!

Monday, July 27, 2009


Even my tits are strungout heh.

Yeah I promised the rest of the story but I feel like shit and I'm not about to go into all that right now. What I am in the mood for is a little anon bashing. They never tire of spouting their judgemental verbal vomit but luckily I never tire of injecting (heheh,really!), my opinion into their mindless comments. I really kinda have to, just to keep things interesting. I wonder.....have my predictions come true? Have self-satisfied douchbags the world over actually started to sound alike? Perhaps it's that they are sooooo fucking inept that they have to go through my previous posts and find a comment to copy and paste, too lethargic in their cocoon of smug self-righteousness to come up with something original. I would looove to think that it's the same idiot over and over, that would be too, too perfect but not very likely.
I mean, who the fuck is that retarded? It's bad enough that these people have nothing better to do than troll my pages looking for something to get pissy about!
I know I give people more than enough reasons to hate me, it's what I do. I am magnificent in my beneficence heheh, I bestow a gift of adventure and debauchery that leaves no visible marks. People are free to live vicariously through me without any physical risk to themselves.
No tracks on your lily white arms, no cuts, bruises or black marks staining your pristine souls...fuckwads! If you can't see the beauty in that you can go curl up in bed (no doubt located in your mother's basement) and jerk it to your Comicon '09 photo journal. Don't think to condescend to me with your untouchable attitude, I see right through you.
One hour of my "wasted" existence is worth a lifetime of yours and if I never see the wrong side of 35 it'll have been worth it!
Whatever, I'm over it. I don't have to explain shit to anybody, that's the luxury of being a self indulgent cunt. I can do and say what the fuck I want and when it's all said and can go fuck yourself. Your opinion means less than nothing to this bitch.
Don't flatter yourselves into thinking I'm pissed either, I'm not, just bored with your lack of imagination. Not that's it comes as any surprise, sad to say.
What it comes down to is this :

You can try and lump me in to whatever category you like but at the end of the day you basically know shit about who I really am. You know what I tell you or in the case of a rather determined stalker from IL, what you snooped on the Internet.

Fuck it, I'm done with this, bored to tears and my heart just isn't in it tonight. I can't produce a scathingly brilliant post in this condition, so I'm not even going to try. I'll be back tomorrow..probly.
XO to everybody who isn't a fucktard, even if you live in your parent's basement and play WoW all day hahaha.
~Melody Lee

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Oh no.....Must be the Season of the Bitch!

Just wait, this^^ becomes relevant later on.

Well, I'm not in lock-up, just lazy. I'm sure you can tell from the date that I started this over a week ago and just now got it done. So this is what happened after my last post.

When I climbed into the car Rainman was behind the wheel and Maniac was in the back hitting the glass as usual. I took control of the stereo and replaced R-man's Seasons in the Abyss with some TSOL, it seemed to suit my mood. I crawled over the seats into the back to keep lame-o cholo company...oh and to smoke the motherfucker's speed.
It was kinda hot that night and if I hadn't been intent on putting an end to my hellacious come down, I definitely wouldn't have been rubbing against the sweaty fucktard sitting next to me. The lowered disco-mobile is free of modern conveniences like air conditioning and Maniac had taken his shirt off. I sat as far from him as possible, making snarky comments about douchebags covered in prison ink who have never seen the inside of a reception dorm. He countered with some semi-clever remarks about junky cradle robbers during which I snatched the pipe out of his hand and threatened to chuck it out the window. This set off a wrestling match that got me covered in homie sweat and the pipe lost under the front seat. R-man reached into the backseat and started swatting at us shouting, "Goddamn it, stop that shit or I'll pull this car over right now! Do you hear me? Right now I said!"
We paused, looked at each other and laughed, "Yes Papi." Maniac located the pipe and we concerned ourselves with the smoking of the speed. In between hits of cryysy we sniped at each other until Rainman cranked the volume on the stereo to drown us out. I contented myself with making faces and obscene gestures and settled back to enjoy the sweet sounds of "Code Blue". Me immature? Not on your life! I just like being obnoxious while singing about fucking dead people.
By the time we reached our destination we'd started grappling again. R-man opened the door and grumbled impatiently as I planted my feet in Maniac's chest and launched him out of the back seat and into the dirt. He got up and lunged at me, trying to wrap his hands around my throat but Rainman grabbed him around the waist and kept him off me.
I took my time climbing out of the car and smirked at M, singing out, "I WIIIIN!"
He struggled to get to me and R-man gasped out, "Christ on a cracker woman, stop pokin at him, damn sweaty mez-kin is slicker than a greased pig!"
I almost pissed myself I was laughing so hard! Between Rainman's comment, the look on Maniac's face and the speed in my system, I'm surprised I didn't have some kind of spasticated seizure! It took me a minute to pull myself together and and get the giggles under control. Maniac gave me a disgusted look and said, "Whatchu laffin' at puta, you're just as Mez-kin as I am!"
One look at that face and the dirt stuck all over his stupid ass and I started laughing all over again. I leaned against the car trying to catch my breath and told him to quit pouting, I needed concentrate on why the fuck I there in the first place.
The meth savant filled me in on the details:

1)Gabby owed him close to a thou and had been ducking him for weeks.
2)She had finally called and told him she had most of the cash.
3)If she didn't have at least two thirds of the total amount, I could kick the shit
outta her with his blessing.

My mood had improved considerably since he had first called and asked me to do it but I figured what the hell, I was already there. We walked up to the trailer and climbed the steps, she already knew we were there and the door opened before I could knock on it.
A Navajo girl the size of an Andy Gump outhouse ushered us in, shooting dirty looks in my direction. I smiled sweetly and went to lean on arm of the couch, the trailer smelled worse than it had the last time I was there, if that was possible. I think every dog in New Mexico had taken turns alternately pissing and shitting in that hell hole! Gabby was nowhere to be seen and Rainman sent Maniac to look for her.
He came back, hag-ula in tow and she flung a paper bag on the coffee table. R-man told her to dump it out and count it. She did and came up with something like $800bucks, she handed it to him.
While all this was going on Maniac had made himself comfortable on the couch and started watching TV and smoking it up. Filthy motherfucker, that couch was so rank it could have crawled away on it's own! Rainman put the money away, pulled out a bag of cryssy and scooped some onto the coffee table before settling back to hit his own pipe. Ugh, that fucking couch was NASTY!!!
Gabby eyed the offering hesitantly and said she didn't have any more money. I took the glass from R-man's hand, hit it and said, "He didn't ask for any you dumb cunt, say thank you."
Maniac snickered and the port-a-crapper disguised as a Navajo girl started muttering under her breath....

Umm, I'm gonna post the rest tomorrow because this is one long muthafuckin story and it's probly better if I break it up. Maniac descended on my household last night and spent the better part of the morning getting wired and cleaning his guns. The house has that old familiar smell of tweek, gun oil and sweaty Mez-kin haha. I gotta go fumigate while I'm still inclined to do so, I decided not to smoke but ended up getting high off the fluffy white clouds of cryssy floating through house. I will clean and then spend the rest of the day laying in bed watching movies, eating percocet and waiting for my heart to stop palpitating so I can sleep.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Blood Stains, Speed Kills and Oh Yes Indeed I WILL!

OK so I've been a little preoccupied what with getting loaded and my new project and I haven't been doing a damn thing to update on here. Chances are that anyone who was reading me has ambled off to greener pastures and that's fine....because I know that all y'all motherfuckers that have turned your face from me will be back eventually, I'm just that irresistible!
I have been on the Methamphetamine for a bit too long and have discovered that Suboxone has done NOTHING to discourage it from coursing through my system like a deranged freight train. I have repeatedly cursed Rainman and his future inbred, three-eyed offspring but it's really not his fault, it just makes me feel better to take it out on someone besides myself.
I can't help but wish that whatever ingredient he's added in order to, pardon the pun, tweak his recipe would suddenly become unavailable....not that I'm saying he has a recipe. If my opinion were to become public knowledge(at least locally),the unwashed tweeker masses would likely hunt me down, douse me in ether and light a match. So y'all keep your big mouths shut!
I have been unable to sleep for more days that I care to think about, even going so far as to become one of those *shudder* productive tweekers that irritate the shit outta me. I cleaned, I washed, I vacuumed and folded! I bathed Fat Mike,(to his extreme displeasure) and scoured the backyard for bird and lizard carcasses. Today alone I scrubbed the guest room from top to bottom (I had to rid it of any lingering sister cooties) and threw out any linens that may or may not have been tainted by the touch of foul,(and abundant)sister flesh!
I'm in rare mood and though I have more than enough energy, I'm going to refrain from detailing the events that took place the night I made the brilliant decision to join R-man on his quest to Cuba. Maybe next post.
Maybe not, I might have an even better tale to tell. Rainman rang me about an hour ago saying he needed me to come with him to collect some money from a "recalcitrant" customer. I was going to tell him to go get fucked, it was seriously right on the tip of my tongue....until he mentioned the name of the dastardly debtor. That's's Gabby,the spun retarded, dog-faced cunt who tried to take a chunk out of my arm with her teeth, if you could call them teeth. Generally teeth implies that you have more than a smattering of decaying stumps left in your head. That bitch looks like she's been eating rocks! As in gravel, not crack but I suppose both would have the same effect.
After our last altercation, during which she chipped one of her few remaining teeth on my ring, she hasn't been to eager to see me at all. As I said at the time, it's not my fault the bitch didn't take my friendly warnings to heart and shut her big fucking mouth! It's not my fault that she was too stupid to realize I was serious about shutting it for her and it's definitely not my fault that she chipped her tooth whilst repeatedly slamming her face into my fist. Nope, not my fault at all.
I've been spoiling for a fight ever since I missed my chance to throttle Casey's cunt sister. I am in such a pleasant mood right now that I think paying a visit to Countess Tore-back-ula sounds like a capital idea. I am also rather in love with the fact that I can now call myself an enforcer hahaha. I'm such a hardass.
So I will be heading out my front door in 45 minutes, I will wave a one fingered salute to the cocksucking cops that live on the corner and I will climb into the hated disco-mobile. I will inhale some cryssy from the pipe that'll be thrust under my nose the moment I shut the door and I will count the seconds till we arrive on Gabby's rickety doorstep. If she's lucky, she'll have the money and I will be on my way, if I'm lucky...she won't.
If I'm not back in 48 hours, y'all should start taking up a collection for my bail and contact K1tten who will in turn contact my bail bondsman. Haha yeah, I'll hold my breath.
Love you kids, see ya when I see ya,XOXO
~Melody Lee