Sunday, November 30, 2008

I've got 5 4 3 2 1.......and a fascination with sub-standard porn

(Yeah I know they're not red but they still kick ass!)

So it's no big surprise that I'm at home this weekend, I'm still quarantined. Not really but I may as well be. I'm bored and have been falling back on some of my more eccentric forms of self entertainment. No not that kinda self entertainment pervs!
I've been listening to alot of my old records and CDs. Going back to stuff I haven't heard in years. My taste in music is so weird on any given day I can be listening to The Electric Eels one minute and then switch over to Hank Williams and then maybe some Dusty Springfield capped off with Gwar and Softcell. Today it was Crass and Billy Holiday. My stereo is like the world's most fucked up mix tape.
I've always liked Crass but I never really gave a shit about their politics. I'm the least politically involved person I know. I just don't give a fuck about any of it, I'm selfish and could care less about the state of govmt in this or any other country. I don't care how ignorant it sounds, it's the truth. I've been hearing about drastic shit going down in this country for as long as I can remember and I never really had it affect me one way or the other therefor I don't give a fuck. Yeah yeah I know, every person makes a difference blah blah blah whatever.
Anyway, I was listening to Crass- Penis Envy and was reminded once again that my mind works in weird ways.
For instance when I hear Eve Libertine screeching out Bata Motel, I don't think about the (supposed) ongoing repression and objectification of women.....I think about how rad it would be to put on "My red high heels" and have some guy "Drive me fast and crash me crazy" so I can " Rise from the wreckage as fresh as a daisy" and have him "Strap my ankles,break my heels, make me feel, make me kneel...."
Fucked up right? I have a feeling that this was NOT the message Crass was trying to get across. Oh well, it is what it is....not the first time my thought process has been a lil twisted. HAHA is that ever an understatement!
I'm not really a masochist. What appeals to me in theory would NEVER fly in real life. I've gotten my ass beat enough times to know that it's not as fun as it seems even if sex is eventually involved. Gracias Grant, you ruined my chances for a career as a submissive bondage slut!
As for all that safe-word, controlled S&M shit, that just seems retarded to me. A word that makes everyone stop if it hurts too much, where's the fun in that? No follow through, no commitment!
I'm too bitchy and mean to ever be a true submissive anyway, I would just end up turning the tables and brutalizing some poor B&D dork with strap-on sex toys for wasting my time with his stupid plasti-cuffs, and gay leather hoods!
I'm sure you-all really wanted to know that.........that's why I shared.
Another thing I've been doing is indulging my love of really awful low-quality amateur porn. I don't watch it to get off, oh no,no,no! I watch it because it is sooooo bad and soooo ridiculous that it's funny as hell and I can laugh for hours. As far as I'm concerned there are few things better than watching some amateur wannabe pornstar try and look hot while some hairy, fat-assed douchebag is trying drive his penis through the back of her head! Priceless! It's my version of America's funniest home videos and way more entertaining than watching a toddler kick his dad in the nads for the million-th time.
I saw one last night that had me pissing my pants it was so funny. This Paris Hilton look-a-like was giving what may possibly have been the worlds worst blowjob and believe me, I am more than qualified to judge. *snigger*
She was trying hard to look sexy but you could tell that she was so not into it. The guy had a HUGE cock and he kept shoving her head down onto it. She did her best to keep this from happening by wrapping her hands around it but he was relentless. The end result was her with dick so far down her throat that her eyes kept crossing. I shit you not, every time he pushed her down on it the bitch went cross-eyed and blew snot bubbles. It was fucking HILARIOUS and only made better by the fact that she kept trying to say naughty-provocative things while is was taking place.
As close as I could tell, she kept asking, "Do you like that? Is that good?" but it sounded more like, "Ooo ooo ike at?*bluahrg-snort* esh at ooog? *aaack ugh*" Poor stupid thing, looking for approval and reassurance from a jerk-off whose one goal in life is to fuck her stomach through her mouth.
I have no problem laughing at her expense either because just like no one forced me onto the streets no one forced her to suck giant cock in front of a camera. If you submit to letting yourself get fucked six ways from Sunday in some amateur gang bang then I can chortle to my hearts content and not feel bad for one filthy second.
Tis also the season for holiday themed porn, which is another of my hobbies. I love those goofy titles, they are almost better than the movies themselves. "Deck the balls" and my personal Thanksgiving favorite "Humkpin Pie."
I'm really disappointed that they haven't come out with a re-issue of A Clockwork Orgy, a shame really. It's a classic!
Fuck! I cut my finger earlier when I was cooking and it's still oozing! Thanx to those anti-coagulants they pumped into me, I've been bleeding and bruising like a hemophiliac. I look like I have leukemia, there are bruises all over my arms, neck and stomach.
I have been cooking alot as well, just because I have nothing better to do. Between having k1tten call me a domestic slut and Josh whining about the fact that these domestic skills were all but non-existent when I lived with him, I think I may have to lay off the Martha Stuart routine. I am NOT a domestic slut.....I'm imported! HAHA and clever too!
I was watching TV and came to the realization that as far as actual acting goes, I think Bill and Ted's excellent adventure may be the best thing Keanu Reeves has ever done. Am I the only one who thinks his acting is comparable to watching paint dry? A razor blade enema holds more appeal! Sitting through most of his movies is torturous, like watching a man sized puppet being put through the it's paces by a guy with a monotone voice box and zero personality.
Anyway, I have to go smoke now so I will end this convoluted tour through my psyche, I'm not actually this random and scattered in real least I don't think I am. Hmmmm, something to ponder. I'm normal, it's everybody else that's fucked up. Heh heh, riiiiiight.
Au revoir mon chous, Je t'adore. Melody

Friday, November 28, 2008

What didn't kill me yesterday makes me harder to kill tomorrow

How ironic is it that the day after I posted the fact that I have nothing to bitch about I landed in the hospital? *sigh* Only in my world.
Before I launch into my hospital adventure I wanna thank everybody who sent me messages etc via k1tten and myspace, you guys made me feel so.......loved haha and you know I eat that shit up!
K1tten called the house the same day I was admitted and upon hearing that I was on my deathbed promptly stalked me. It's funny 'cause she actually tracked me down before Casey was able to. He was still trying to force info from the nurse's station while I was blabbing to k. She also spammed me all over blogger to let everyone know I was at death's door which really appeals to my sense of the melodramatic.
Thanx k1tty, you tha best girl!
So on Friday morning I was outside smoking with Casey before he left for work and I was bitching about the fact that my feet had been kinda swollen and ache-y. It was about 40 degrees but I was barefoot and happened to look feet looked purple and shiny and my toes resembled ready to burst blood sausages. Tasty right?
I pointed this out to Casey who was suitably impressed. I was doing a great job of staying calm until I noticed the black-ish streaks running from my feet and climbing up my calves.
I closed my eyes, whimpered, "Babe, think I need to go to the emergency room" and then smoked like 5 cigs in a row. Anybody who has been a long time Dopefiend knows what black streaks mean and it's NOT good. As long as I have been doing H I have heard tales of the dreaded black streaks and was always hella thankful that I had never experienced them firsthand.
Don't get me wrong, I have had some gnarly abscesses. I even had a few that made me so sick I was sure that they were gonna take me out because I refused to go be butchered at the hands of some "I told you so" E room doctor. I would just trade some smack for antibiotics and suffer though it. I am and have always been disgustingly healthy for someone who has done what I do so I always recovered nicely and continued on my way. Even feverish and puking from infection I always kept a sharp lookout for the black streaks that would indicate blood poisoning and immenent death.
We went to the E-room and I was admitted after about 15 minutes which had to be an indication of my condition but by this time I had come to terms with the situation and was reasonably chill about the whole thing.
They nurse took one look at me and went for the doc. He looked at me and confirmed the fact that I did indeed have blood poisoning and would be spending some time at their mercy. Acute Cellulitis was the actual diagnosis, along with some other shit I can't remember.
I was too busy trying to explain to the nurses that they were so not getting any blood from my arms. As usual they paid me no mind and proceeded to turn me into a pincushion. I kept telling them that they were gonna have to stick my neck but nobody listens to me. Casey was rolling his eyes as he watched them go through the motions of tying me off and feeling around for veins that disappeared long ago, we've been through this before.
One nurse managed to spear a spidery lil sucker on the top of my right hand. I was hoping against hope that it would hold and it did.....for a few minutes. He was using it to run a line into me and before he hooked it up to the bag he pumped me with a shot of morphine. It burned like hell but was worth it for the 30 sec it lasted. Morphine sucks! It also kicked the shit outta that tiny vein and when he plugged in the saline it leaked under the skin and had to be taken out.
While all this was going on the other nurse had been jabbing away at my left hand, going so far as to try and catch the veins on my knuckles. That does not feel nice! I mean I've done worse to myself but for some reason a fat shot is way more appealing than a bag of salt water and therefor worth the ouch. I know, I know......I was really sick and getting a line in me was important, can't help the fact that I think like a junky though.
After coming up empty on both sides one genius nurse pointed out the vein running across the palm of my left hand and through the meaty part under my thumb. No fuckin' way! That shit hurts so bad I could never even get it trough the top layer of skin and believe me I tried!
I told 'em to get fucked but was eventually coerced into going ahead with it. That cunt dug around under my thumb for-fucking-ever and got jack shit! For some reason I let her try again in my palm when what I really wanted to do was take that stupid butterfly and stick it in her fucking eye! She got that one and stole 6 vials of blood from me.................3 minutes before the doc came in with an ultrasound machine and proceeded to put a line in my neck! I don't think I have to point out the irony.
I didn't even feel the needle go in and I got hit with another shot of Morphine as soon as they were done,so it wasn't a total waste.
Casey had to run to work and they moved me to a room in the main hospital. I got hooked up to some super strong IV antibiotic and then had to answer a bunch of stupid questions. My new doc came in, asked me if I was in pain and then promptly prescribed a schedule of IV Dilaudid every 4 hours and Lortab every 6. Oh and Restoril for my fragile nerves. *frail sigh* I may have hammed it up a lil bit.
That first shot of D straight into my neck made me giggle it felt so freakin good! This hospital shit was starting to look up! The Lortab was useless but I took it anyway just on the off chance that it might enhance the D. Even sick as hell I still have my priorities straight! *snicker*
I got to lay in bed, watch TV and nod out which was awesome but I also had to get stabbed in the gut with anti-coagulants 2x a day. They were worried that the line in my neck would throw a clot and cause an aneurysm or something.
While I was there they swabbed me for MRSA and guess what? I was diseased, lucky me, like cellulitis wasn't bad enough! They said it was really common in NM and that it was nothing to worry about and then shoved some kinda gel up my nose 3x a day from that point on.
I made it damn clear that I could get to the bathroom on my own, no catheter for me thank you!
The antibiotic was going in me 24/7 and it was so strong that it made me nauseous. That was compounded by the fact that the food they were trying to force on me smelled like hot barf and looked like wallpaper paste with chunks floating in it. I would rather dine at the county jail for a year than ever have to smell or taste that crap again.
The times they didn't stick around to make sure I was eating I flushed that vomitous shit but sometimes I was obligated to eat some. They wouldn't hit me with the D til I ate.....Nazi's!
At one point they wanted to put in a pic line but I vetoed that noise! You would think that the thought of a semi-permanent sure-shot line would appeal to me but there's something about them threading a catheter up towards my heart that freaks me out. If I had stayed in longer I wouldn't have had a choice, they will only use the same IV site for 4 days before they move to another to avoid infection.
Casey was smuggling in candy and McDonald's and I was sneaking onto the balcony to smoke. I mean I had to smoke after I got my shot of D but dragging that IV shit around was a pain in my ass!
Casey reminded me of his last hospital stay in Bako, when I came to visit every day and was shooting H into his IV the whole time. We just had to keep our fingers crossed that the nurse wouldn't notice the brown cloudy shit in his line. HAHA I'm such an awesome junky girlfriend! He said he would have returned the favor but A) we had no H and B) I was getting loaded enough already. True but how loaded is loaded enough?
So that's pretty much it, on the 4th day I bid farewell to my friend Dilaudid and did my damnedest to convince the doc to release me. My feet were almost back to normal and the horrid black streaks were just faint shadows that were rapidly fading.
I really didn't want that pic line!
I got out Monday night and came home with scrips for Augmentin, Bactaban gel and Lortab. If all goes well I should be disease free by the end of the cycle. My blood work came back clean for everything which is a miracle in itself. I'm still kinda amazed that I never picked up Hep or HIV, Christ knows I had enough chances, just lucky I guess.
The Lortabs were supposed to last 2 weeks but are GONE, what a fucking surprise. They are worse than useless but as I said before, the druggie in me takes them just in case they might work. I'm still waiting on that!
I'm sorry it took so long for me to post and let y'all know I had not kicked off just yet. That Augmentin makes me pukey so I have been laying on the couch watching TCM and snarfing down sour bears. I'm not malingering......not really.
I've told Casey that there might be a chance that I have to go back if the Aug. doesn't work. He told me if that happened he would probably lose his job and have a nervous breakdown. I didn't realize how worried he was until I came home. He told me that he hated that I was gone and that the house was weird without me. My being sick really wrecked him, he actually got a little pale when I mentioned going back.
There's nothing quite like knowing your honey would miss you if you died, especially considering the fact that I have done shit that left some of my ex's willing to commit human sacrifice on the off chance I might expire. HAHA good luck with that fuckers *smug smirk* I'm too much of an asshole to die. The world needs me!
So now I have one more reason to hate New Mexico, this wasteland managed to do what 10 + years of living in and out of junky squalor did not. For whatever reason all the I time spent in filthy squats, shooting galleries, motel rooms and jail never touched me. A little over a year in NM, alot of that time clean and I get diseased! NM mud is apparently toxic and carries cooties, go figure.
I love you guys and didn't mean to leave anyone in suspense, thanx again for all the well wishes etc. It really did help.
I won't say much to the haters who are gnashing their teeth at my recovery, just this, "Too bad,,,,,,,,,HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA"
Ciao for now kids, (a slightly less diseased) Melody Lee
P.S. Hope y'all like the pic, I woulda made a damn fine zombie!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

2 Minutes you'll never get back....................

I have been so fucking lazy this week, I mean I'm always lazy but this time I really outdid myself. I've been laying around the house doing no-thing! Although I have managed to drag my lethargic ass into the shower regularly the fact that I've been wearing the same grungy black flag shirt for days kinda cancels out any attempts to maintain cleanliness.I don't care, fuck it. I'll change tomorrow...........maybe.
I think I'm getting too old to be going on speed binges, I could do that shit all day everyday when I was a kid but now...............apparently I'm an old broad who can't handle her shit. C'est la vie.
I don't have anything especially earth-shattering to share with y'all today but then again, when do I ever? I was thinking about typing out the "raid" story but......... I'm tiiiiiiired. HAHA I don't think I know anybody besides myself who can be totally exhausted after a long day of doing nothing. Being this useless is hard work!
I came across my old friend Turkey via Regina on myspace, I'm a myspace loooooooser. So sad.......
Anyway he's still the same old fuckface, he's living in Colorado somewhere and I was surprised to realize I actually miss that fool! We thought he was dead, having heard from some traveling squatters that he had OD'd and been found in a dumpster. Knowing Turkey the way we did, it wasn't hard to believe. I'm glad he's not dead and from what I've heard he's doing better so yay Tracy (Turkey).
I need to buy a car! I've been spending too much$$ on useless shit when I should be saving it for my trip to Eugene. I really don't need anymore shoes or clothes or records or whatever.
Blaaaah....BORING! I bet y'all are even now regretting your decision to come here and read my update, there's 2 minutes you'll never get back.
Dr. Finch....I'm blocked!
I find myself thinking that I wish my life was like a Wes Anderson movie, where everybody is fucked-up but it only makes you like them more and they cruise through life backed by an awesome soundtrack.
Am I feeling sorry for myself? Is that what this is?
Fuck a buncha that shit, I am so not gonna throw myself a pity party! I have nothing to piss and moan about anyway, I have a decent house, I have money, a crazy moody boyfriend that loves me.........if I heard me complaining I'd kick my ass!
I'm gonna go force myself into the shower now and I may even put on a clean shirt. After I re-gain my usual snarky good attitude I'll come back and post something a little more amusing........Christ, I'm such a blog-whore. Loves you bitches, Melody

Monday, November 17, 2008

More random pics

Me and Regina at fisherman's wharf pre-shaved head era, obviously still in our skater phase, check those huge clothes we have on.

Me passed out at the Savoy after a loooong New Years Eve, Christ, how many giant T-shirts did I own?

Cameron, Regina, Barfnana and Ron B.

Regina and Brandi somewhere in downtown Bako

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My boring update and a tale of past Nazi antics

So it's late and cold and I'm staying in tonight despite the fact that I did get a call earlier. No spegakked road trips for Melody....not this weekend! It's taken me this long to get back to normal (as normal as I get) and I'm not in any hurry to fuck that up. My H is also all gone so without that to look forward to I'd rather not get wired at all. Then again I may do it just to spite myself, one never knows with me.
Since someone pointed out that my blog description was a bit garbled I decided to change it. Rather than re-word the whole thing I just put up a quote. I was too lazy to do much else and it is a great quote. I wish I could say that it's my motto but I'm too argumentative to stick to it. Arguing can be a form of explanation after all and I LIVE to argue.
Anyway, I could go into a detailed description of my boring weekend but I won't, I'll save y'all the experience.
I saw a commercial for some kind of hearing aide/amplifier and it made me think about something that NLR Brad did. We were living at Kristen's and I was selling, it was me, Casey, Frog, Brad and Ron. Brad was one of these people who had to do speed w/ his H, we called it a goofball. I don't care for it but Brad wouldn't have it any other way. Essentially the speed would cancel out the H and he would be well but tweeked. He was technically a heroin addict but he never really got loaded because of the speed.
He used to get super paranoid and do all kinds of weird shit, after a week or so of being up he would start to talk in an annoying Donald Duck voice and strip down to his boxers right before he crashed. For some reason I would always find him in his underwear muttering Donald-speak with only one shoe on. One shoe on every fucking time!
Anyway, we had been having alot of drama with the cops, they were constantly cruising by the house and stopping people as they left, trying to catch somebody holding. They followed us to the store and anywhere else we went and it was pretty obvious that they were gonna hit us soon.
So one day Ron comes racing into the room and he's laughing and shaking his head, he had gone to the store with Brad to get some foil and Brad had found something that caught his interest. I was trying to get info out of a giggling Ron when Brad comes in and announces that he has the solution to our impending raid dilemma. Casey, Frog and I were all ears, we had been trying to figure out something that would buy us some time once the cops were closing in.
So we watched as Brad pulled out 5 little plastic toys, a roll of speaker wire and some electrical tape. Mystified I looked to Ron who just shook his head and looked away smiling. Mr. NLR had launched into a tweek induced explanation that took way too long and made absolutely NO sense. I tried to get a clear answer but after about 20 minutes of nothing but convoluted tweek speak Frog yelled out, "He wants to use the toys as a ghetto surveillance system!" Frog was better at deciphering tweeker than the rest of us.
I took one of the toys and lo and behold it was a 50 cent ear spy, the kind you get out of a candy machine. He had 5 of these things and quickly recruited Frog, Casey and Ron to help him with his project.
The help involved belly crawling through the yard laying wire (because the cops might be watching and surely they wouldn't notice 4 dipshits slithering through 3 inch grass)and then placing the ear spies at various intervals around the yard. I sat in the house and laughed at them while yelling disparaging comments out the window.
After they were done, Brad wired it all up to some headphones and proceeded to tweek off on every little noise. It sounded like shit by the way, all you could hear was cars driving by and birds chirping.
Needless to say it didn't work the way it was supposed to(shocking I know) and the morning we got hit the only thing heard (it was wired to a speaker by then)was crickets chirping and Brad gibbering Donald-speak while he washed his car in the his boxers with one shoe on. *sigh*
That particular raid is a story in itself, it was funny as hell! All I can say is we musta been pretty jaded to find it as amusing as we did. I'll have to tell y'all about it if anybody cares. Fuckin' BPD is always good for a laugh.
Pretty random post. I guess I'm still a lil burned out, like that time I did too much coke and nitrous and forgot how to tie my shoes for a week. Wow, that sounds bad, even to me.
I guess that's enough for now, I'll leave y'all to your own devices. Happy Sunday kids, XOXO Melody

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sunday night......KC lights not optional

As per a special myspace request I've attempted sleep and have dragged my ass to the computer to bang out the tale of the crystal fiasco. UGH, I still feel like crrrrraaaap! I passed out sometime this morning....finally and had maybe 5 hours of sleep. Sorry about the phone k1tten, I left it.......somewhere and didn't hear it.
Fuck it's cold.........
Sunday night:

The phone rang for like 15 minutes before I answered it, Casey was in bed and I was watching Entourage so it was probably around 10pm....11pm? Something like that, the voice blaring out at me was that of the meth monster. What followed was possibly the most complex convo ever.

Rainman: "Whatcha doin?"
Me: "Watching Entourage."
Rainman: "Gonna come get you, tell your old man you're heading out."
Me: "Nope."
Rainman: "He asleep?"
Me: "Yup"
Rainman: "Leave him a note and get ready."
Me: "Uh uh."
Rainman: "What'cha got something better to do?"
Me: "Jeremy Piven."
Rainman: "Who? Tell that guy to get fucked, we're going for a drive."
Me: *snort-mumble*
Rainman : "Get ready, I'm getting in the car right now."
Me: "No."
Rainman: "Be there in twenty..."
Me: ""
Rainman: "I'll honk...."
Me: "No."
Rainman: "In twenty." *click*
Me: "Hello? FUCK!!!"

He did NOT answer when I called back....tweekin' bastard! I knew if I didn't get ready he'd wake up the whole street with his stupid honking and then probably come pound on the door and wake up Casey too. Some people obviously can't take no for an answer.
It was so freakin' cold I put on jeans and a thermal shirt and grabbed my hoodie. I ended up taking this stupid long leather coat that is HUGE! It's seriously like 2 whole cows and it looks all Matrix. L-A-M-E!
Anyway it seemed like he took longer than twenty minutes but that might be because I was in a foul mood and feeling uncharitable. When he pulled up he was driving one of his project cars, some lowered junker with a furry gold interior that was covered in bondo/primer. Disco tweeker mobile.... fucking brilliant! All that car needs are plates that say "ARRSTME* to be complete. It's a rolling cop magnet, especially after 10pm on a Sunday night.
As soon as I opened the door I got knocked back by the smell of speed and hot glass. That fool was hitting his pipe right in front of the house! I wouldn't really mind but for the fact that there are two(count 'em) FPD cocksuckers that live not five houses away from me. New Mexico cops are pretty thick but COME ON!
I got in the car and slumped down in the seat, pissed to be out in the cold and none too enthused about the pipe being shoved in my face. I musta said "fuck off" 5 times......before I took it. Haha, I'm no pushover.
After a couple hits I was feeling tons friendlier so I asked where we were going and got a sideways smirk for my trouble.
"T' pick up a car."
That's all he would say so I busied myself with the pipe and took the wheel occasionally so he could hit it too. Fuck it right? I was already stuck so why not go all out.
We drove for about 15 min heading out on one of the various dirt roads that surround this shit town. Rainman pulled into what looked like a truck yard. There was a rusty double wide hidden behind all the equipment.....SHOCKER!
We got out and he had me run up to the door to get keys. When the door opened it was my old friend Gabby aka torebackula aka the rabid bitch that bit me. That dump smelled like ether and dog farts, stellar combo. I rolled my eyes, held out my hand and said, "Keys." I can convey more with an eye-roll than most people can with a whole speech.
She stared at me like a stupid heifer (my sincerest apologies to cows the world over)and then spun around and went into the bowels(haha) of the dog fart trailer. I'd be damned if I was gonna go after her,it fucking stunk in there! I went back to the car where Rainman was digging through the trunk. I was just in time to see him pull what looked alot like a gun from behind his back and stash it in the trunk......@%*&#@%*!FUCK!
I'm not gun phobic unless I happen to be traveling with a person known as the meth savant. I don't call him that for no reason, he's a dipshit and I'm a bigger dipshit for letting myself get embroiled in another one of his schemes. Lets not forget that this is the same genius who thought it would be a super idea to give 19 yr old Richie and Eric a couple balls of cryssy.......TO SELL! The same shit they later got popped for.
Anyway, I made it clear that I would walk home(ugh) if he didn't rid himself of any and all firearms. I was so not up to getting jailed for traipsing around with an armed felon who is also absconding from parole, the both of us wired as fuck with God knows how much speed in our possession.
He assured me he was gun free and asked for the keys, a smart assed smile on his dopey face. I informed him that Miss Torebackula had fled into stinky recesses of the hell trailer. He laughed and said that was because she was scared.
Scared? Of me? I can't imagine why that is.
He said it's because I made her into a snaggle-puss. What the fuck? Apparently it happened sometime during our little disagreement. It musta been while she repeatedly rammed her face into my fist that she chipped her front tooth on my ring. Not my fault.
He went after the keys himself (brave soul) and came out laughing because Gabby had barricaded herself in the bedroom and had shoved the keys under the door. What a cooze!
We walked behind the trailer and climbed into a big-ass truck, complete with KC lights and tool bed. This shit was just getting better and better. He said we were gonna use the crane on the back to..........retrieve something.
At this point I was wishing that Rainman had blown himself up long before we had the chance to cross paths. Not that I'm saying he would have any reason to be in a meth lab explosion, it's just some random scenario I pulled outta my ass.
I don't really know where we went because it was dark and everything looks the same in this wasteland. It had been raining that week so it was muddy and Rainman was driving like a retard. That stupid truck was sliding all over the place, making it extremely difficult for me to smoke my speed with any degree of confidence.
On the way he filled me in on Eric and Richie but that's a story for another time. We got where we were going(BFE) and he got out and turned on some spotlight thingie and started sweeping it around. I was not thrilled to find out that we were in some mud pit on the most godforsaken patch of earth ever created (besides Vegas).In the dark no less. Perfect!
He found what he was looking for because he came and tapped on the window and said he needed help. I climbed outta the truck and promptly ate shit, landing on my ass in the mud, luckily that queer leather coat was between me and the ground. I did however get mud all over my hands and feet (my green chucks are currently brown).
He had me hold a flashlight while he fucked with the crane, it took me a minute to realize that the spotlight was shining on a muddy lump of metal. Looking closer I saw that it was a car buried halfway in mud and tipped at a funny angle like it was in a ditch. Brilliant! I can only surmise that some moron was driving that car out there in the rain when one of those oh-so-famous flash floods hit and wiped him out into a ditch. I had a pretty good idea who that moron was too, he was standing to my left fucking with crane controls.
I had a bit of a shock when I realized that said moron was preparing to boom the crane all the way out to lever the car outta the mud. Idiot! We were flailing around in calf-deep sludge and this fool was gonna get us stuck or worse. Explaining the situation took way longer than it should have because for some reason Rainman couldn't grasp the concept. I think he finally gave up trying and took my word for it. He went for the winch instead. I woulda said fuck it and come back when it was dry but he had to do it right then....of course.
Flash forward to Rainman sliding (in the mud) under the car and "retrieving" something. I had no desire whatsoever to know what was taped in that package but I could imagine. I was not happy, he on the other hand was whistling he was so pleased with himself......dimwit!
"OK" he said, "Lets go."
I asked him what he was gonna do about the car.
"Leave it, it won't come back to me anyway"
It's things like that that make me wonder how it's possible that the same individual can be so smart in one sitch yet so stupid in another. He truly is a meth savant.
We drove back to his place and after disappearing into the bedroom for a few he came back with a plate. On top of this plate was some cryssy, a new point and a spoon. Haha Rainman just went up in status. I needed something to perk me up anyway, I was felling a little limp and the pipe wasn't doing it for me no more. I banged a shot that was likely too much and after I was able to breathe again I hit him up for some clothes and a shower. I felt so much better afterwards even though I was wearing camouflage pants and a Slayer T-shirt.
I made it home that morning sometime after 10am and proceeded to do jack shit besides shoot the rest of the cryssy R-man gave me for tagging along. By Monday night I was a wreck and finally busted out the H so I could get some relief. It lasted about as long as it took for me to write my previous post and smoke a cigarette. Before I knew it the speed in my system ate up all the H and I was back where I started. UGH!
I spent most of Tuesday morning online plotting a trip to Oregon and finally passed out sometime last night. Never again! I always say that but maybe this time I'll stick to it....maybe.
So that's it, I finally got it out, hope it was worth the wait Rufus. Tune in next time for a Richie update and possibly a war story if I'm feeling up to it. For the first time in a long time I'm looking forward to a boring week so I doubt there will be much to write about but one never knows with me. Love from muddy New Mexico, Melody

Monday, November 10, 2008

Last night......

.........I went all out with the speed last and I don't know if I can really get into all of it right now. I'm really tired and I broke down just now and did some of the hidden H. Not alot.........well OK a good amount, enough to make the poke worthwhile.
I'm so full of shit, like I wouldn't make a sieve outta myself for a lil taste as well. Big shot, small shot, makes no nevermind to moi. I'm predictable that way.
I really don't think I'm gonna make it long enough to tell the strory of last nights crystal fiasco so I won't even try, I'm sooooooooo sleeeeepy........a little nod wont hurt. It never does. I'll fix the typos tomorrow maybe cocksuckin' spellcheck is for shit!. And let y'all know what happened too. I'ma go now, loves loves loves you all, M.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Me a victim? Of myself maybe.

I never realized it before but I am pretty fucking upbeat for a junky, I mean I might bitch constantly but that's just my nature. I was born to be a pain in somebody's ass. I guess most addicts are unhappy and that comes through in their writing. I can understand that, we all have our moments. I do get annoyed though when it's like 150 pages of pity party. Poor me I'm an addict, feel sorry for me and my wasted life....wah waaaaaah! Piffle!
I would like to believe that I'm unique in every way but that's probably not true, I guess I'm just more optimistic about my condition than most. A happy go lucky dopefiend, that's me. I'm not trying to sugar coat it, it's not an easy way to live. For alot of people it's no life at all, I know that, I'm not a simpleton.
I've been at both ends of the game, flying high selling and down low just scraping to get by. I won't deny that I had some tough times but for the most part if I was feeling sorry for myself it wasn't because I hated my life, it was because I had no $$$ or dope. That's about as honest as I can be, I mean sure I could spin some yarn about how I saw myself in the gutter and had a moment of clarity when I realized I was a waste of oxygen and would be better off dead but that would be bullsheeeiiit.
Maybe It's just me but if I'm being truthful my pit of despair was dug by lack of smack not self hatred. My poor me attitude beat feet as soon as I got right. To say otherwise would be false.
It's like all those people who find jail. Motherfuckers who couldn't be bothered to say bless you when someone sneezed are all of a sudden quoting scripture at me? I'm sorry but come the fuck on!
And what are these newly re-birthed disciples of Christ praying for, world peace? Their families well being? NO! It's all about,"Oh Jesus please help me to get a fed cap kick" or "God, please help the DA to lose my paperwork so I get a continuance and can do all of my time in county" HAH! Lord and saviour my ass! Most people only pray when they're in deep shit or they want something and that's the sad truth.
I actually had some of these dipshits try to lay hands on me and 'heal' me when I was locked up and kicking, needless to say it got ugly pretty damn quick and they wasn't offering to pray for me noooo more! Fuck 'em where they breathe, I wasn't religious on the streets why the fuck would I change my tune in lockup? That is fake as all hell and why bother if you're not sincere?
Anyway, all I'm saying is that no matter how many times I hear someone tell me that I'm not being honest about my addiction I feel like I am. I know it's bad for me, I just don't care. I talk about my self destructive tendencies but I don't know if that's even the right way to describe what's up with me. I'm not doing all this shit out of self loathing, I'm doing it because I like to get loaded. I may not like some of the shit that comes along with it but I figure you take the good with the bad and smile or else move the fuck on, it's not for you.
I'm not putting down the people who are genuinely unhappy with their addictions, everyone deals with things differently, all I'm saying is why is it wrong for me to feel OK about it? Why do I have to be miserable, is it some kind of junky pre-requisite? I'm not miserable, even stuck in a shit hole miles away from friends and family.
I've never been comfortable playing the victim, that's just not me. I could turn on poor junky girl in a minute if I wanted to and I have in certain circumstances, when it was to my benefit. Junkies are the best manipulators after all.
I always feel so stupid trying to get sympathy for something I did to myself, "Oh poor me, I never knew shooting Heroin 20 times a day would do this to me, I'm just a victim of ignorance and circumstance" Riiiight.
For me trying to play that card 24/7 would be like trying to put sliced hot dogs in plain spahgetti-o's.....not worth the effort 'cause it's just not authentic. Do I come across as helpless?
I know some girls that got into H because of guys and all that crap and I suppose if they really want to they can say it wasn't their fault but I went out and hunted for it. I specifically set out to score H and I didn't quit til I got what I wanted.
The link thing isnt working so if anyone wants to read that story go back to my 6/23/08 post for the skinny on how I got started. I will say right now, yeah it was fucking stupid! I had no business doing what I did and I'm lucky we didn't all die or get HIV/HepC. I know all that and even now I can't believe I went about it the way I did but if there's one thing that comes across loud and clear, it's that I truly have no one to blame but myself PERIOD! If I have no clue what I'm doing and there's no one to show me and yet I still figure out some way to get it done then yeah, it's my fault.
I'm getting sidetracked and it's probably because I had a phone call from a particularly pathetic Josh who was acting like someone twisted his arm and forced him to become a junky. Poor trust fund baby, nobody loves him waaaaaah! Man up Josh, stop whining like a bitch and take some responsibility for your own actions.
That's it,enough bitching for tonight; everybody have a marvelous weekend, I loves you all, yes even you sniveler! Melody

Too lazy to write...much.

Pics of the infamous back room after it got tweeker-fied

Sara, Mindy, me and Petey at motel 6 after we stole the epinephrine from the hospital.Daaaaamn, we look geeked out and tore back! I don't remember who took the pic, Brianna maybe. Dig my red hair.
Sensitive Christian
Anna banana
Regina on my B-day at the old Savoy in SF
Petey at Ed's house, gotta love that ghetto paneling
Frog and Ashley

Thursday, November 6, 2008

It's all in the genes

It was so cold today! I'm such a complainer, too hot...too cold, I'm never happy. I think Anna may be moving out here, one of my best homegirls flying to my side, that's friendship! I suppose it doesn't hurt that her husband is getting extradited back to Cali and she doesn't really like the town she's living in, I also promised to help her out with some cash to get a place here. I prefer to think that it's the friendship not all the reasons I just listed but who knows, friendship is a fickle thing sometimes......I won't hold that against her.
I'm sorely tempted to fly to Oregon (or is it Washington?) and collect her myself, just to have something to do. Somehow I don't think that St Helens has an airport, maybe I'll go to Covington first and then coerce Regina into driving me, yeah that sounds better. I can't even imagine the chaos that would descend once we were all together+ Anna's 2 kids.
Before someone goes off on the state of her and her kids, let me say that Anna hasn't done smack since the year 2000 and she doesn't drink anymore or do any other drugs. She's a good mom, if a bit vociferous and her kids are a riot.
Anyway, it's something to think about. I spent most of today in bed because I didn't want to turn on the heater and it was cold as fuck. I read and then read some more, I know super interesting, that's me.
I saw the craziest shit on TV the other day.....heaters being shilled by the Amish! I don't know quite what to think about that. It said that the mantles on these electric fireplaces were made by skilled Amish craftsmen and most of the commercial was a vignette of them performing said craftsmanship. The climax is a shot of an Amish guy driving away in a horse drawn wagon with two of the ridiculous things loaded in the back.It was funny as fuck and I had to go get Casey just to make sure I wasn't imagining things.
I'm sorry but when did the Amish sell out? I'm confused but my knowledge of Amish culture doesn't extend much past having seen Witness so I can't expound on this concept as much as I'd like. Maybe I should do some research so I Can come back and really have at it. Maybe not.
So an older member of my family has recently acquired a boyfriend through some strange twist of fate. This guy just called up one day and started talking to her and being that she's at least 70 yrs old, she had nothing better to do than talk back. Don't get the wrong idea, from what she says he isn't a perv, he's just lonely and needs somebody to talk to. He sings her songs and writes her poetry and it's all kinda sweet. I mean I wouldn't have anything to do with someone who wrote me poetry just as a matter of principle (YUK!), but she seems to like it.
Well all was going good, he told her that initially it had been a wrong number but once he heard her voice, he decided to pursue it. I've heard of stranger shit.
Anyway the reason I'm privy to this information is because they had a fight the other day during which he revealed the shocking news that he is NOT a businessman from Fresno..........he is actually an inmate in Avenal making chancy phone calls on a contraband pre-paid cell he bought from one of the COs. Un-fucking-believable!
So being that I have some experience in these sorts of matters she rang me and gave me his CDC ID# and other pertinent info so I could do a check on him. My uh family member's new boyfriend is a 65 yr old cholo from Orange County who is doing 2 years in Avenal for involvement in a shooting. Niiiice!
This happens to be my mom's side of the family too, it's interesting to note that maybe my self destructive tendencies aren't all passed down from my dad's screwy gene pool.
My mom found out and apparently had a shit fit, snatching the phone away from our hapless relative and threatening to pull his balls out through his nostrils if he so much as showed his face after his release. Go mom! My mother doesn't suffer fools! At least not anymore, since she married this last time (#3 or is it 4?), she has run a tight ship and the only fool allowed aboard is me. She has to 'cause I'm her baby *smirk* and she is obligated to love me.
So anyway, my family is nuts, even the normal ones. My dad's family is a nightmare that would take way too long to dissect.
I love my daddy, even if he is a little psycho and his idea of reverse psychology was telling me what a bad dope dealer I was and that he would never have condescended to dirty his hands with less than 10 pieces. I was nickle and dime-ing it according to him and unless I wanted to shame the family I needed to graduate from grams to pieces pronto! I was happy to oblige and daddy was astounded that I took to it like I did, I guess I got his head for business. *snicker*
It was kinda weird dealing with the same people as my dad had, years before. Most of my connects either knew him or knew of him and he never let me forget that he could have me cut off if he so desired. Hmmmph! I'd like to have seen him try! My daddy's famous for all the wrong reasons and I was buying, selling and shooting with some of the same people who had seen me as a newborn. Crazy!
My dad's funny and even though he scares the shit outta Casey we have a pretty good time hanging out with him. He stopped using years and years before I started and has stayed clean which is good....for him. I always get a kick out of his war stories where he is this INSANE heroin addict/dealer who was so hardcore that people OD'd on his cottons. Sure dad, whatever. I'm beginning to see where I get my delusions of grandeur. He's all covered in prison ink and he looks a lil intimidating but he's my Father and he isn't the hell-raising, junk-dealing biker that he used to be. He still flies his colors but for the most part he's settled.
My mom refuses to utter his name and I suppose I don't blame her, it couldn't have been easy for her. She was a proper young thing and to this day I still can't get either of them to tell me how the fuck they ended up together. I know it wasn't because of me, I was born 2 years after they married. Oh well, another mystery.
My mom's parents always acted like he was the proverbial bogey man, actually her whole family did. She must've been pretty determined to have him, maybe she was going through a bad boy phase, I can sympathize with that, mine never ended. I'm just more suited to it than she was, obviously.
They were both really young and my mom was spoiled as all get out so if she threw a tantrum I can see my Grandfather caving in, my Grandmother would have washed her hands of the entire situation by that point. I hear my Dad supported them in fine style and even turned down the house my mom's parents offered them as a wedding present, so it wasn't her money that he was interested in, I guess on some level opposites really do attract. Ancient history.
I'ma go now, after giving you-all a peek into the insanity that is my family tree I'm spent and the need to smoke is overwhelming and *sigh*yes I have to drag my ass out into the freezing night air to do it, YAY! Loves you, Melody

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

My not-so-glorious glory days

I was having a convo with Regina the other day and she asked me if it was true that I sold off my horses for smack. Ummmmm weeeeell, I guess you could say that technically I did NOT sell them for drugs.....I sold them for money....which I then used to buy dope. I also used some of the $$ to help fund the ill-fated "Vegas trip" that I took with Ed and Mike H. I won't get into all that but I'll say that Vegas is OVERRATED and their H sucked! From that point on I lost any desire to ever go there again.
The horse thing isn't really as bad as it sounds, it needed to be done because I had been spending zero time taking care of them for months and was having to pay to have them groomed, exercised etc. It's not like I hocked 'em to the glue factory for a quick buck, they went to good homes with people who had the time and energy to treat them as they deserved. I guess when Adam told her that I had done it, he made it sound like I traded them to some Pisa connect....fucker!
I've been demonized so much that my old friends will believe just about anything they hear about me. That's not to say that alot of that shit isn't true, I mean every rumor has a grain of truth to it. I'm just not as ruthless as I'm made out to be, sometimes I wish I was. If I was totally conscience-less I could have pulled alot more shit since I wouldn't feel bad about it afterwards. Yes people, I DO have a conscience, it's sadly neglected but it's there.
I never really worry about what I'm doing to myself but I do have a problem fucking off other people, not exactly what junkies are known for but I guess I'm not your average junky. I pulled some shit in my day, don't get me wrong but it was generally boosting, manipulating, scams, driving, that sort of stuff. I was NOT one of those people who robbed connects or my friends, fuck that! The last guy I knew who set himself up robbing connections was diced up into tiny pieces that they are probably still finding scattered all around Hart park. All the M connected Pisa's threw in together and had him disposed of.....NOT pleasant!
It snowed this morning but it probably won't stick, Casey is up in Colorado today and will be out til late, lucky me. I bored and I really don't like the snow, it makes it a pain to go outside and smoke and God forbid I was to smoke in the house, Casey would have kittens! Nazi!
I can appreciate the fact the the house doesn't smell like an ashtray but sometimes dragging my lazy ass outside is too much, especially when it's cold. He has a nose like a freakin' bloodhound too, so even if I tried to sneak a smoke inside he would know and pitch a fit.....tyrant!
I'm just pissy because I was just out in that shit and it sucks ass.
So Regina and I talked about all the fucked up shit Adam told her I was up to and I denied or confirmed what she had heard. We spent most of the time talking smack and re-hashing all the crap we used to get up to. I forgot alot of it, I think cooking up on the bottoms of beer cans was probably not a good idea and has given me early onset Alzheimer's or something. We keep remembering all kinds of shit that really makes us look like assholes but I guess we kinda were. Peter says we were always mean and bitchy.....look who's talking!
Now that I think back on some of the shit we did, I have to agree, it was pretty fucked up. Some of the girls who dared to try and insinuate themselves within the group got their asses beat and God help them if they showed up sporting a fresh Mohawk....that shit was hacked off quick! The 'project' girls got it the worst, these were complete unknowns that the guys would make over into little wannabe punkettes and bring downtown. BIG mistake....fuck we were assholes! I feel bad for our guy friends back then, they had a helluva time getting laid because of us and we weren't sleeping with 'em.....mostly. Sluts were not tolerated, the most promiscuous girl in our midst was Sara but that was OK 'cause Sara was family, she could fuck indiscriminately.
Anna tried to deny any involvement so I had to remind her that on several occasions she was the one threatening the poor girl(s) with a smiley to the head if they dared to resist whatever the fuck we were doing to them. If I'm mean Anna is terrifying! She once cleared the house of drunken rockabilly's that were wreaking havoc while an equally fucked up Regina and myself tried in vain to stay out of their slobbery grasp. She chased several out of my bedroom with nothing but a bad attitude and a bondage belt and kicked the shit out of the one that had handcuffed Regina to the radiator. Anna also happened to be like 20 months pregnant at the time.Fuckin' Anna banana is a scrappy bitch! Ahhh youth.
I feel kinda sorta bad about some of the stuff we did back then, all in the name of "I'm more punk than you" which is really fucking stupid when you think about it.
I let all that shit go after I got strung out, more important stuff to worry getting high. Smack definitely mellowed me out.....mostly.
I still get mean on occasion, Regina is still a holy terror but now she just takes it out on her husband and Anna is in constant conflict with her neighbors so I guess maybe we haven't changed so much after all. To all those girls who got chased through alleys and shorn like sheep, I apologize........mostly:)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A Stepford kinda day

So I have a new reader. This isn't that unusual but I happen to have a pretty close connection to this's Casey's younger sister C. Since I'm not too sure she wants to be outed on my not-so-PG blog I'll be nice and just keep it down to the initial. Say hi to C. everybody "HI C." Haha hi-C like the fuckin juice box.
Anyway I guess she'll let me know how she feels about the whole thing, I tried to warn her that she might be a little freaked out by what she reads here.....maybe just a little.
Besides that I seem to have been possessed by some crazy house cleaning Demon! I wonder if this is retaliation for my derogatory comments about the Church of Satan? I have been overcome by this horrific need to clean EVERYTHING! I am such a natural slob that housework is a drag of massive proportions but today I actually found myself looking forward to it. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
Never in my deepest darkest nightmares did I ever imagine that I would be one of those people who actually wipes out the sink after using it, I mean it's a fucking sink, it's supposed to get wet. I am ashamed to say that I not only wiped it dry after I did the dishes but I continued to do so after each use. Unbelievable!
I cleaned all the windows and floors, which I despise doing and on top of that did something like ten loads of laundry.I was totally fucking sober people!
I know some of you may be thinking that Rainman paid me a visit and slipped me some go powder but that's not the case, besides which I am even more useless all geeked out than I am normally. I am NOT one of those productive tweekers that cleans and does crafts and shit, uh-uh not me. I tweek off on tweekin off! If you don't know what that means I'll explain, it means that instead of finding something constructive to concentrate all that meth energy on I just sit like a dumbass and let my thoughts swirl 'round my head while periodically hitting the pipe and/or needle. Oh and I smoke like a fucking refinery too.
If I had been spun, I would have been sitting in the same spot for so long that my muscles would be semi-atrophied and you better believe the house would be no cleaner than it was yesterday. I am so confused.
I finally slept today for like four hours and I feel so much better, I'm thinking of putting the H on the back burner til sometime next week, maybe next weekend, that way I can give myself a little more time to get normal. I'm afraid if I do it too soon it will launch me right back into feeling crappy again and I don't want that. I've done that so much and it sucks! One week on, four days off, three days on , two days off and never long enough to get completely right in between. It's a shitty cycle to be stuck in and I'd like to avoid it if at all possible. Who knows, I could say that tonight and fuck it all off tomorrow, I'm inconsistent as a motherfucker.
Are motherfuckers inconsistent? I'll have to give that some thought.
I hope that cleaning jag was a one time thing because it would totally freak me out if it became permanent, it goes against my very nature as a lazy ass of the highest degree. If there's one thing I know with all my heart and soul it's that being productive is as unnatural to me as being responsible, I mean I can do it if I absolutely have to but it's not a happy occasion.
We'll see I suppose.
Anyway I'll go now before I put y'all to sleep with my oh-so-interesting commentary. Nighty-night kids XOXO, Melody

Monday, November 3, 2008

Universally abhorred......I mean adored!

I can only appreciate the fact that people who wish I was never born (no not my parents), are bouncing my blog back and forth across the net. As I said in my comments, I think that it is the ultimate sweet irony that the fucktards who hate me the most are just helping me to piss even more people off. I imagine them curling their lip in disgust over my latest post.........right before they click the forward button and send me spiraling through cyberspace to piss off one of their equally anal friends. I fuckin' LOVES it!
I wish y'all would get it through your dense fucking heads that there is nothing you can say that will upset me. I have been called worse by better people than you and it didn't bother me then so why the fuck would I let it get to me now?
I love how everyone thinks that calling me trashy is such an insult, it's not. I can understand if I was trying to come off all pristine and shit but I'm not. I've never denied who I am, what I am and most of all I've never altered my opinion based on what someone else thinks I should do or say. Fuck that!
I said this before in my comments but since I am sooo brilliant and my genius never gets old, I will say it again:
"I really don't care what you(anon fucktards ect.) think of me, if I did I wouldn't be posting all my bullshit in the first place, I have better things to worry about than whether some anon jerk off has a high opinion of me or not.
We're both losers you moron(s), I just have the guts to say it where as you are either too dim or self involved to realize just how much of a loser you really are."
Fuck I love quoting myself!
Anyway I'm sure some dipshit who isn't familiar with me in the least will read that and say, "If you don't care about the haters, then why are you responding to them?"
Well I am a contrary bitch and although I don't care, their inane comments give me something to bitch about and bitching about random shit is my reason for being.......that and spending time with my beloved H. Oh and Casey too:) love ya babe!
So keep it up fuckers, I will continue to oblige y'all by writing whatever the fuck I want and if you don't like it then tough shit, don't read it.........but be sure and forward it to your friends. Kisses bitches, Melody
PS. Everyone else (non fucktards), Mucho amor Babies, M.

Miscellaneous usual

I sooooo tired right now, I have slept for shit! Not really as bad as it could be, I suppose it had to catch up sometime. Fuckit!
I spent this weekend at home reading like the good boring girl that I am. I went through Faithful, the Marianne Faithful autobiography and I re read I'm with the band. I usually have 2 0r 3 books going all at once, depending on which part of the house I'm in. A different one for each room.
Casey spent his time playing WoW.......UGHGHGHGHG! I hate that shit so much but I won't go into to it, it would take too long.
I guess the fact that I could sit still long enough to read says something for the way I'm feeling, it has been a super mild kind of restlessness that only makes itself known when I try to sleep. I'm over it, besides as usual I have no one to blame but myself.
I sat through some hideous documentary last night. It was all about the church of Satan. I find it really laughable that the people involved in that scene don't see how ridiculous it all is. If you have to swear your allegiance to a little bespectacled man dressed in a dime store devil costume, complete with goobery stuffed horns and a tail something is not right. How the fuck can they look at that moron and keep a straight face? If I was the devil I'd be pissed!
My week is spread out before me like an endless map of nothing! I am bored and tired and cranky and probably not fit company for anyone. I can't stand myself right now, I wouldn't expect anyone else to.
The whole thing with Richie and Eric is a shambles, I haven't gone into it because it's so......confused, I can't even really make out what is going on. The bond got revoked...I think. They went to court and got gaffled up and have been sitting in pre-trial ever since. Some cocksucker judge considered them a flight risk....I think. The whole thing is pretty unclear at this point so I'll wait til later to give Y'all the update.
A special note for Josh, I think you must be on some kind of masochistic kick. Are you really that eager to mindfuck yourself over someone who isn't even in the same state? Sweetheart, you need to get out more, seriously! I know you were loaded when you commented, it was kinda obvious but being loaded doesn't mean you have to sit at home and be a douchebag all day and night. What happened to my little social butterfly? Get your ass up and out the door, maybe if you had something to occupy your time I wouldn't keep getting lame-ass commentary from you. Eddie! Do something about this PLEASE!
So that's it for now, another scintillating update from moi, XOXO, Melody