Monday, October 6, 2008

My sycophantic shame and oh so sensitive Josh... in that order

I feel like such a sellout! I spent the WHOLE weekend doing shit that I hardly ever do voluntarily. I mean I clean and cook but not all day every day. I sure as fuck don't get down on my knees to scrub floors. As I've said before I may be good on my knees but that is another situation entirely.
I'm a HUGE fucking slob, so staying on top of the house work (which I grudgingly do) is a big achievement for me. Making sure that the house is livable is about as domestic as I get, which if you ask me is pretty freakin' domestic! If that fucker thinks that me being part Mexican makes me his maid, puede chingar a su puta perra madre! Twice!
I feel like I was going out of my way to make myself agreeable and now, after the fact I feel like a dipshit! He knows how I am, if he can't deal with it then fuck him anyway.
I think I'm gonna re-dye my hair today, my un-natural blonde needs some work. I need to do it anyway but I think this may be a not-so-subtle way of telling Casey to go bugger himself. He HATES my blonde hair, says I get too much attention. Duh!
In my current frame of mind I may go a little overboard and end up with Andy Warhol white instead of Jean Harlow platinum but I really don't care. If anyone could pull that mess off it would be me.
I'll try to get my friend or his brother to take some pics of me so you-all can see me in all my bleached magnificence, you know you want to. I will just have to make sure that he (the brother) doesn't try to touch me, he has these weird little pudgy hands with stubby Vienna sausage fingers. They are ALWAYS sweaty too and I don't mean damp, I mean leaving puddles on surfaces-sweaty! Nasty little dwarf, every time he touches me he leaves a wet mark and I feel like there should be an audible sucking sound when he peels his fat,clammy little paw off my person.
He's not really a dwarf, just short. I have nothing against short people in general, just skeevy little pervs who leave sweaty hand prints on the ass of my jeans!
If anybody cares (probably not) I got a tedious phone call from Josh this weekend and even though he cleared some shit up for me it was still a pain in the ass. I think, (well actually I know because he told me) that he wants to exploit the sitch between me and Casey and come get me, he even *ugh* sang *gag/shudder* to me.
He used to do that alot when I was too loaded to tell him how cheesy it was. He actually plays the guitar really well but if you saw that pic of him then you know what a ridiculous sight that would be. Homie unplugged.
Be careful Josh, your slip is showing. Wouldn't want everyone to know what a sensitive balladeer you are. What would the boys back home think? Am I being an asshole? Maybe if you take into consideration the fact that the whole song was like one big acoustic guilt-trip I won't look like such a cunt. I've put it on default, y'all can judge for yourselves.
What the fuck is it about me that drives men to drugs and apparently musical instruments? I'm like a muse for the retarded,how flattering!
The song had some meaning back in the day when we were together Josh my love but now it makes you seem whiny and desperate. Whiny and desperate is no way to go through life. And yes I just called you retarded. Step away from the guitar babe, do us both a favor.
Possibly this semi-public humiliation will keep such a thing from happening again *fingers crossed*, here's hoping. I looooove you Josh-y (he hates that),just not in a 'Share your DNA' kinda way.....not anymore. Thanx for finally having the balls to say what needed to be said, even if I did have to pry it out of you.
So that's it for now, I'll put up the pics if I get 'em. I love you guys so much I'll brave the moist gropings of Tony-dwarf just to dazzle you with my likeness.
5 BIG kisses and one little hug,XXXXXo Melody