Wednesday, June 22, 2011

A Reasonably Satisfying Substitute.

Flashing some of my bad tats like a douchebag, ha!
I know I should be finishing up my last post but fuck me if I can manage it right now. It's there but I need to fill in some details and that could mean consulting with Maniac and that is not something I care to do at the moment. Plus he's being pissy about some stupid shit he's trying to set up. The particulars aren't important but I will say that the dolt he's entrusted to handle the bulk of his investments is fucking up in a big way. Whatever, not really my problem and I'm tired of hearing him bitch about it, so yeah, I won't be calling him up anytime soon.
Runners are usually a liability, they're just as strung out as everybody else and you have to expect that they will have their hand in the cookie jar, that's just how it works. It comes down to how greedy they are and whether you're willing to look the other way in exchange for not having to do the footwork yourself. Once they get too confident aka they think you're too fucking stupid to realize they've been pinching product, it's time to find a new one. Talk about a position with a ridiculous turnover rate, haha.
Speaking of runners, I had word from Frog which was both surprising and enjoyable. I missed him, I think. He was my friend before he was my 'employee' but then again, who wouldn't miss having what amounts to an indentured servant? He put up with a lot from me, impromptu shopping trips, manicures, regular police harassment...all that and more.
Some of my favorite memories are of me and him sitting on my bed at Christen's with a 3X3 board between us, loaded as fuck and a slew of possible felonies spread before us. I would turn off the phones and lock the doors and for the next 3-4 hours he would cut foil and plastic while I weighed dope and set it all on plates according to size. When all that was done we would both start wrapping and bagging up in balloons with the color indicating the amount. Of course we indulged in frequent shot breaks so as you can imagine it took longer than it should have, haha. We handled so much dope that it was eating the skin off our fingertips and everything from cigarettes to food had the unmistakable tang of tar attached to it. Yummy.
I'll stop that train of thought before I get too nostalgic and have to go score, I do that sometimes. Another reason why NA is not my thing, so many reasons but a big one is that reminiscing about drugs just makes me want to get high. Not that I care enough about being clean to bother with any of that but if I did, that would be a major roadblock. No NA for me.
Hair update, haha. it's now 3 shades of blue, I look like a peacock and that's not really what I was going for but I'll work with what I've got. And what I've got is teal roots, turquoise in the middle and indigo tips, don't ask, I have no idea how it happened, all I know is that I didn't do it a-purpose. It's just my natural ability coming through, I suppose. What ability, you ask? Yeah, I was wondering the same thing.
So wow, this is super interesting! I don't know if I'm just draggin' ass or if I've truly lost my flair for relating incidents from my ridiculous life to people I've never met. Well, 90% of you anyway.
I know I'm lazy but I'm starting to think that maybe I was never really that entertaining to begin with and though it was fun while it lasted, I'm getting more and more caught up in just doing the stupid things and not so much in writing about them. It'll pass, maybe.
I'm still up to no good, nothing has changed as far as that goes and yes the things that happen to and around me are still some of the most asinine occurrences you will ever encounter BUT it's like I don't even know how to put them down on the page anymore. I think I'm burned out or something...or something. Perhaps I've finally executed one brain cell too many and this is the result. A post with no direction whatsoever and me with no real inclination to remedy it. I'm happy to let it wander, it's the best I can do right now.
Drugs...too much and not enough all at the same time because as we all know, it's never enough. Even when you think you've had enough, you haven't, not really. Maybe one day I'll be over it but not yet or maybe never, who can say? I could just fizzle out one day and not wake up...ooooooh, morbid, haha. Lets stop that shit right there. Not that I'm sweatin' it but I'm pretty sure no one here cares to read on while I wax pathetic about OD's etc. I know I don't.
My Anna Banana is an idiot and in Cali without me but I expect she will be back in the Pacific Northwest posthaste and be all the better for it. It has been what you would call a harrowing sort of adventure and I think she's ready to head home. Plus it's like 110 degrees in Bakersfield, what a freakin nightmare! Not the best time to be out roaming the streets and acting irresponsible. Not that I'm judging, I do the same but not it that inferno, ugh!
Frances...I can’t, not right now, it’s too much. Adrian...ugh, D-raaaama and so not feeling a rundown. Richie...still adorable, still a pain in my ass, not feeling this as well. I’m so worn out by all of it, it’s too much trouble for not enough payout. What the fuck is the point, pretty is as pretty does and aside from being nice to look at, why are they even around anymore? I don’t mean it the way it sounds, just irritated I guess. I do care about both of them but it’s exhausting trying to deal with it all. I thank God that Rich is in CO or else I would probably go crazy.
Um, I’m thinking that a handful of misc. pills can only improve the day and I’m off to the dispensary to locate said pastilles. Maybe they’ll also improve my writing and I’ll be back with something a bit more stimulating but I’m thinking nah, not likely. How was this for an anti-update? When I said I could talk about nothing for days nobody believed me, hahaha.

Mucho love or at the very least, a reasonably satisfying substitute,
~Melody Lee