Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I am incognito as a smack loving former ho

I had a semi amusing time when I went to cash the check today. I had a hell of a time even finding a place to do it. I have shitty credit (big surprise right) so no bank account for me. For some reason most check cashing places didn't feel comfortable dealing with a check that big. They looked at me like I was well, crazy. Ironic as it is for that very reason I even have a check to cash.
Anyway, I finally found a place to do it and after staring at me and the check for about ten minutes, she asked me if I could tell her what it was for. The check is issued from the national treasury for fuck sake! It says SSI right there on the front.
Being a smart ass I looked her right in the eye, leaned in and whispered," I'm in the witness protection program, why the fuck else would I be in Farmington, New Mexico?" She looked like she was gonna shit herself.
I decided to hurry things along and told her I was fucking with her, explained that the reason I was getting so much money from the gvnmt was because they decided my mental faculties weren't up to snuff and could I please have my money now.
She recovered quite nicely and set about the verification process which took for-fucking-ever! I thought they were gonna ask me for a DNA swab. So after much hassle I am now in possession of more money than a person like me should ever have access to all at once. I think I'm gonna pay off all my checksystems crap so I can open an account. I can't very well bury it or stuff it in the mattress and I'll be damned if I'm gonna put it all in Casey's account.
It's not that I don't trust him but momma didn't raise no fool. I have given him a nice chunk and I will probably spend twice that buying him crap he doesn't want or need. I just like to keep my options open and in case my idea of a good investment doesn't mesh with his, I want to be able to say, "FUCK YOU!" and do what I want anyway.
I will not be dictated to by a power drunk tyrant holding my cash hostage. That's the main reason I avoided pimps, I won't let it happen now that's for damn sure!
I don't want to give the impression that I am stingy, because I'm not. I am realistic. As much as I would like for everything to work out between me and Casey, I know our track record. Things have changed somewhat but we are still the same people we always were. So in order to keep from having to call my mommy to fix things when and if the shit hits the fan, I prefer to have a stash of cash to fall back on.
Like it's gonna last that long anyway, who the fuck do I think I'm fooling. Even if I don't spend it all on Dope I will spend it, believe you me. It's funny 'cause strung out I was so careful. I never spent money on unnecessary shit. Dope, smokes, food in that order. Priorities, you know, besides who the fuck wants to eat when you're fighting the dry heaves? Dope, then cigarettes (cause you have to have one after you fix), then food.
Anyway, I think I am going to engage in a serious bout of Internet shopping. I will probably buy Casey tons of band shirts, belts, buckles, shoes, records, CDs you name it. And no I'm not feeling guilty for hoarding my money like a scrooge. He'll get to enjoy it long as he doesn't piss me off :) Ciao Bambinos, Melody Lee