I can't believe I'm awake right now. I have had such an exciting night! Between staring at the TV and going out to smoke, I think I can honestly say that this place is dead boring. Everything shuts down at 9pm and it blows. I think the most interesting event of the night was periodically checking on the cockroach that was malingering on the back patio (I blasted it with carpet spot remover). The stupid thing refuses to die! I guess spot remover is not ideal for exterminating bugs, it's probably the roach equivalent of ODing on aspirin.
I was a little slow on the draw this week so I will not be getting loaded til sometime tomorrow, patience is not one of my virtues. As happy as I am with my current arrangement, I still miss being able to go and cop anytime I felt like it. There's nothing more comforting than knowing your connect is a few minutes away as opposed to a few states.
Fuck it, I can't complain; what I have going on now has exceeded my expectations. I just feel the need to bitch and moan about something.
Richie surprised me with a little present that almost totally fucked me, and not in a good way. He left me a bag of peach rings in the mail slot with a little note that said, " I have some sugar for you." he signed it with an R. Well as I was not expecting anything, I didn't check the mail and Casey found it when he got home from work. FUCK, FUCK,FUCK!
I had a helluva time explaining that shit. I told him I had talked to my kind of friend Regina and told her I was jonesing for candy. She must have gone to the store and come by when I was in the shower. He didn't look convinced but dropped it anyway.
This Richie thing is getting outta hand. It's only a matter of time before the shit hits the fan and I am not looking forward to it. Leaving notes and candy hmmm, it's kinda sweet in a junior high sort of way I guess. One more reminder of his barely legal status.
Christ, the bullshit I get myself into, I am a trouble magnet! I will feel unbelievably bad if Casey kicks the shit out of him. I think I will go looking for him today, maybe at the park so we can have a little tete a tete. I am going to lay it all out and hope that it scares him off.
After all I really don't care who knows about my past, present or future indiscretions. I have always been equal to a little notoriety. I am an attention slut as you well know. Any publicity is good publicity. So what if the people around here find out some unsavory details about my lifestyle, who the fuck are they anyway? Nobody I care about.
I was watching Pretty in Pink last night and was reminded of how hot James Spader is. He plays a huge asshole but all I could think of every time he came on screen was climbing all over him. Most people would think that Duckie was more my speed but as cute as he is he comes off a little gay. Also he is more emotional than a girl and that I can't deal with.
Sensitive guys are way too much work! I went out with this guy Christian who was sooo sensitive it was ridiculous. He had started using Dope because he wanted to get close to me and I guess it worked. It was Ok for awhile, he was cute and sweet but having him look soulfully into my eyes and tell me how beautiful I was got old quick. He would sulk if I spoke to any other guys and that was often as most of my friends are guys.
He was too delicate to mix with alot of my OG friends. They scared the shit out of him and they knew it so being assholes they took advantage of that fact on a regular basis. He emptied his bank account for me and that was sweet too and even the sex was good because he went above and beyond to keep me happy. He could eat pussy like a lesbian which is saying alot.
However the fact that he was always touching me, and I was always tripping over him everywhere I went drove me nuts. It got to the point that I started to feel physically ill at the thought of his hands on me.
A gang of us used to go to his house almost every night because his parents were always gone. One night as we were driving up I told my friend Brianna that if Christian tried to touch or kiss me I was going to throw up. She thought that was funny as hell, in fact everyone in the car was laughing as Chris came out of the house and immediately tried to lay one on me. I jerked back, told him I had strep throat and spent most of the night trying to figure out how to keep him off me.
My salvation came in the form of Casey who at that time was without a girl friend and was hot to hook back up with me. We always went back and forth like that. He came over and we were all in the living room watching movies loaded and happy. As usual Chris was glued to my side touching me. I had my feet up on a pillow because I had walked like three miles in a pair of steel-toes and I had blisters. Casey had used a washcloth to cool them off and was slowly rubbing them, crouched down at the foot of the pull out couch . I was so intent on what Casey was doing that I forgot all about not wanting Chris to touch me. As a matter of fact I started to frantically make out with him just to keep him from noticing that Casey had started to suck on my toes. I think Chris was the only one in the room who didn't notice because I kept hearing Brianna and Will laughing.
It was good while it lasted, I don't know what would have happened had it continued unchecked because just as Casey was making his way up my leg Chris spotted him, jumped up and ran to the bathroom where he slammed and locked the door and began sobbing like a ten year old girl.
After about fifteen minutes of that nonsense Joe told me to go and talk to him, maybe calm him down.
I stood outside the bathroom door getting more disgusted by the minute.
At first I tried to comfort him, really I did but when all I got for my trouble was, "WAAAAAAAAAAH!" louder than ever I couldn't take it anymore. I told him that he was making an idiot out of himself crying like a bitch and that he needed to man up. I pointed out to him that he was the guy and I was the girl ,if anyone should be bawling in the crapper it was me.
My statements were followed by more wrenching sobs from behind the bathroom door.
I had enough! Casey was leaning against the wall looking smug and as much as I wanted to take him home with me , the fact that he was enjoying the situation so much pissed me off. I went home alone.
That was my last go with a sensitive guy, assholes and psychos I can handle. Throw a crybaby at me and I am at a loss. Any way, I'm rambling 'cause I am TIRED and need to sleep! Goodnight, um morning. Melody
