Thursday, July 3, 2008

And the Oscar goes to...

I have to say that having just read k1tten's latest post has prompted me to tell y'all a bit more about what I do all day, besides being fabulous and perfect ect.
I'm sure if any of you have read my previous posts you know that I am currently a phone slut. This has been my means of earning the almighty dollar since I got to NM. Sex is definitely something I'm familiar with and I have been doing phone sex for years and years. It really came in handy when I was slinging Dope and wanted to make some extra cash. I could stay at home all day and move bags while at the same time working . It also amused the hell out of my customers. It was not unusual to have me answer the door, phone to my ear in the middle of some hot and heavy call.
My favorite memory of this is when I had a four hour call with some guy who wanted me to pretend I was his wife. She had left him for a black guy and he got her all stuck on crack and turned her out on the streets. I guess he had her ho-ing in the same parking lot where she worked. She would be out there on her lunch break sucking off co-workers.
Anyway, this guy would get all carried away, asking me to tell him how much bigger and better black cock was and that I would do anything and anyone to keep getting it. Then he would start in about the drugs, going so far as to tell me that he was going to take me to San Fran and give me to the fiends at some random drug house, letting them shoot me up with H and fuck me on a dirty mattress, covered with used needles. I had to go on about how much I loved it and say that I didn't care if I got HIV, just don't stop.
It was at this point that my friend Jody came over to cop and sat for awhile, listening to me as he fixed. I was saying, "Oh, oh it feels so good. I looove having you watch while they use me. I can feel the needles jabbing me as they fuck me and it hurts but I like it." Jody smirked and then laughed outright, and said, " Fuck Melody I didn't know that was you I brought home last night, next time I'll clean up a little."
Well the guy heard that and I had to improvise and say that it was my black pimp boyfriend, come to inform me that he had guys waiting for me and their dicks weren't gonna suck themselves. He fucking loved it, he got so turned on that after all those hours, just a few minutes of Jody's voice in the background got him off. I would have been pissed about losing out on more money but after four hours, I was more than ready to hang up.
Selling and working the phone could sometimes be a challenge. That house was fucking insane! There was so much traffic at all hours that when we got raided, the cops told us that we were like a 24 hour McDonald's, we had drive through service (we used to sell out the window too) day and night.
Aside from shredding the place, they also confiscated my work logs and had a great time interrogating me about them. My log was a huge notebook that had lists of names, with the date, # of minutes I talked, how much cash I made and what they were into. Those stupid fucking cops thought that it was a kind of record book detailing my Dope sales. Unbelievable.
When I finally convinced them that it was work related, they had a great time going through it and laughing at all the weird shit the guys were into. Glad I could entertain the BPD as they trashed my house.
I get supreme satisfaction from the fact that we were able to flush all the dope when we heard them ram the door, so all they found was a bunch of riggs and shit like that. They were not happy to let us off with alot of piddling paraphernalia citations.
Anyway, I am getting off track here. My life has changed quite a bit since then but the phone biz always stays the same. I get a variety of calls for 5 hours a day, 5 days a week. I can expect to be anything from a horny housewife to a barely legal slut. I get to do calls where I can be a super cunt dominatrix and make guys suck cock and dress them in panties before I fuck them in the ass with a strap-on.
I also get calls where they want me to shit all over them and watch while they eat it, drink my piss, eat their own shit ect. Those are probably my least favorite, 'cause as twisted as I am sexually, I just can't get into turd entrees.
Regardless, I can talk about anything and when I get the occasional guy who wants me to suck off a dog or something I can even make that sound believable. I guess being shameless is an asset when it comes to kinky phone sex.
I've even gotten calls from a guy who wants me to act like I'm smoking rock in between tricks. He likes me to make the sounds like I'm sucking on a pipe. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I am able to pull that one off no problem. "Please daddy, let me have the push."
So, when I'm not here, relating my superbly clever anecdotes, I am most likely on the phone engaging in some sort of lewd act.
I have to say that I love my job, turd lovers notwithstanding. I make crazy money bullshitting all day. That is something I can appreciate, any aspect of the hustle always appeals to me. Hell I'm not a whore, I'm a telecoms specialist.....
Love from your barely legal, horny, cunt dominatrix housewife, Melody