Friday, November 28, 2008

What didn't kill me yesterday makes me harder to kill tomorrow

How ironic is it that the day after I posted the fact that I have nothing to bitch about I landed in the hospital? *sigh* Only in my world.
Before I launch into my hospital adventure I wanna thank everybody who sent me messages etc via k1tten and myspace, you guys made me feel so.......loved haha and you know I eat that shit up!
K1tten called the house the same day I was admitted and upon hearing that I was on my deathbed promptly stalked me. It's funny 'cause she actually tracked me down before Casey was able to. He was still trying to force info from the nurse's station while I was blabbing to k. She also spammed me all over blogger to let everyone know I was at death's door which really appeals to my sense of the melodramatic.
Thanx k1tty, you tha best girl!
So on Friday morning I was outside smoking with Casey before he left for work and I was bitching about the fact that my feet had been kinda swollen and ache-y. It was about 40 degrees but I was barefoot and happened to look feet looked purple and shiny and my toes resembled ready to burst blood sausages. Tasty right?
I pointed this out to Casey who was suitably impressed. I was doing a great job of staying calm until I noticed the black-ish streaks running from my feet and climbing up my calves.
I closed my eyes, whimpered, "Babe, think I need to go to the emergency room" and then smoked like 5 cigs in a row. Anybody who has been a long time Dopefiend knows what black streaks mean and it's NOT good. As long as I have been doing H I have heard tales of the dreaded black streaks and was always hella thankful that I had never experienced them firsthand.
Don't get me wrong, I have had some gnarly abscesses. I even had a few that made me so sick I was sure that they were gonna take me out because I refused to go be butchered at the hands of some "I told you so" E room doctor. I would just trade some smack for antibiotics and suffer though it. I am and have always been disgustingly healthy for someone who has done what I do so I always recovered nicely and continued on my way. Even feverish and puking from infection I always kept a sharp lookout for the black streaks that would indicate blood poisoning and immenent death.
We went to the E-room and I was admitted after about 15 minutes which had to be an indication of my condition but by this time I had come to terms with the situation and was reasonably chill about the whole thing.
They nurse took one look at me and went for the doc. He looked at me and confirmed the fact that I did indeed have blood poisoning and would be spending some time at their mercy. Acute Cellulitis was the actual diagnosis, along with some other shit I can't remember.
I was too busy trying to explain to the nurses that they were so not getting any blood from my arms. As usual they paid me no mind and proceeded to turn me into a pincushion. I kept telling them that they were gonna have to stick my neck but nobody listens to me. Casey was rolling his eyes as he watched them go through the motions of tying me off and feeling around for veins that disappeared long ago, we've been through this before.
One nurse managed to spear a spidery lil sucker on the top of my right hand. I was hoping against hope that it would hold and it did.....for a few minutes. He was using it to run a line into me and before he hooked it up to the bag he pumped me with a shot of morphine. It burned like hell but was worth it for the 30 sec it lasted. Morphine sucks! It also kicked the shit outta that tiny vein and when he plugged in the saline it leaked under the skin and had to be taken out.
While all this was going on the other nurse had been jabbing away at my left hand, going so far as to try and catch the veins on my knuckles. That does not feel nice! I mean I've done worse to myself but for some reason a fat shot is way more appealing than a bag of salt water and therefor worth the ouch. I know, I know......I was really sick and getting a line in me was important, can't help the fact that I think like a junky though.
After coming up empty on both sides one genius nurse pointed out the vein running across the palm of my left hand and through the meaty part under my thumb. No fuckin' way! That shit hurts so bad I could never even get it trough the top layer of skin and believe me I tried!
I told 'em to get fucked but was eventually coerced into going ahead with it. That cunt dug around under my thumb for-fucking-ever and got jack shit! For some reason I let her try again in my palm when what I really wanted to do was take that stupid butterfly and stick it in her fucking eye! She got that one and stole 6 vials of blood from me.................3 minutes before the doc came in with an ultrasound machine and proceeded to put a line in my neck! I don't think I have to point out the irony.
I didn't even feel the needle go in and I got hit with another shot of Morphine as soon as they were done,so it wasn't a total waste.
Casey had to run to work and they moved me to a room in the main hospital. I got hooked up to some super strong IV antibiotic and then had to answer a bunch of stupid questions. My new doc came in, asked me if I was in pain and then promptly prescribed a schedule of IV Dilaudid every 4 hours and Lortab every 6. Oh and Restoril for my fragile nerves. *frail sigh* I may have hammed it up a lil bit.
That first shot of D straight into my neck made me giggle it felt so freakin good! This hospital shit was starting to look up! The Lortab was useless but I took it anyway just on the off chance that it might enhance the D. Even sick as hell I still have my priorities straight! *snicker*
I got to lay in bed, watch TV and nod out which was awesome but I also had to get stabbed in the gut with anti-coagulants 2x a day. They were worried that the line in my neck would throw a clot and cause an aneurysm or something.
While I was there they swabbed me for MRSA and guess what? I was diseased, lucky me, like cellulitis wasn't bad enough! They said it was really common in NM and that it was nothing to worry about and then shoved some kinda gel up my nose 3x a day from that point on.
I made it damn clear that I could get to the bathroom on my own, no catheter for me thank you!
The antibiotic was going in me 24/7 and it was so strong that it made me nauseous. That was compounded by the fact that the food they were trying to force on me smelled like hot barf and looked like wallpaper paste with chunks floating in it. I would rather dine at the county jail for a year than ever have to smell or taste that crap again.
The times they didn't stick around to make sure I was eating I flushed that vomitous shit but sometimes I was obligated to eat some. They wouldn't hit me with the D til I ate.....Nazi's!
At one point they wanted to put in a pic line but I vetoed that noise! You would think that the thought of a semi-permanent sure-shot line would appeal to me but there's something about them threading a catheter up towards my heart that freaks me out. If I had stayed in longer I wouldn't have had a choice, they will only use the same IV site for 4 days before they move to another to avoid infection.
Casey was smuggling in candy and McDonald's and I was sneaking onto the balcony to smoke. I mean I had to smoke after I got my shot of D but dragging that IV shit around was a pain in my ass!
Casey reminded me of his last hospital stay in Bako, when I came to visit every day and was shooting H into his IV the whole time. We just had to keep our fingers crossed that the nurse wouldn't notice the brown cloudy shit in his line. HAHA I'm such an awesome junky girlfriend! He said he would have returned the favor but A) we had no H and B) I was getting loaded enough already. True but how loaded is loaded enough?
So that's pretty much it, on the 4th day I bid farewell to my friend Dilaudid and did my damnedest to convince the doc to release me. My feet were almost back to normal and the horrid black streaks were just faint shadows that were rapidly fading.
I really didn't want that pic line!
I got out Monday night and came home with scrips for Augmentin, Bactaban gel and Lortab. If all goes well I should be disease free by the end of the cycle. My blood work came back clean for everything which is a miracle in itself. I'm still kinda amazed that I never picked up Hep or HIV, Christ knows I had enough chances, just lucky I guess.
The Lortabs were supposed to last 2 weeks but are GONE, what a fucking surprise. They are worse than useless but as I said before, the druggie in me takes them just in case they might work. I'm still waiting on that!
I'm sorry it took so long for me to post and let y'all know I had not kicked off just yet. That Augmentin makes me pukey so I have been laying on the couch watching TCM and snarfing down sour bears. I'm not malingering......not really.
I've told Casey that there might be a chance that I have to go back if the Aug. doesn't work. He told me if that happened he would probably lose his job and have a nervous breakdown. I didn't realize how worried he was until I came home. He told me that he hated that I was gone and that the house was weird without me. My being sick really wrecked him, he actually got a little pale when I mentioned going back.
There's nothing quite like knowing your honey would miss you if you died, especially considering the fact that I have done shit that left some of my ex's willing to commit human sacrifice on the off chance I might expire. HAHA good luck with that fuckers *smug smirk* I'm too much of an asshole to die. The world needs me!
So now I have one more reason to hate New Mexico, this wasteland managed to do what 10 + years of living in and out of junky squalor did not. For whatever reason all the I time spent in filthy squats, shooting galleries, motel rooms and jail never touched me. A little over a year in NM, alot of that time clean and I get diseased! NM mud is apparently toxic and carries cooties, go figure.
I love you guys and didn't mean to leave anyone in suspense, thanx again for all the well wishes etc. It really did help.
I won't say much to the haters who are gnashing their teeth at my recovery, just this, "Too bad,,,,,,,,,HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA"
Ciao for now kids, (a slightly less diseased) Melody Lee
P.S. Hope y'all like the pic, I woulda made a damn fine zombie!