Sunday, November 16, 2008

My boring update and a tale of past Nazi antics

So it's late and cold and I'm staying in tonight despite the fact that I did get a call earlier. No spegakked road trips for Melody....not this weekend! It's taken me this long to get back to normal (as normal as I get) and I'm not in any hurry to fuck that up. My H is also all gone so without that to look forward to I'd rather not get wired at all. Then again I may do it just to spite myself, one never knows with me.
Since someone pointed out that my blog description was a bit garbled I decided to change it. Rather than re-word the whole thing I just put up a quote. I was too lazy to do much else and it is a great quote. I wish I could say that it's my motto but I'm too argumentative to stick to it. Arguing can be a form of explanation after all and I LIVE to argue.
Anyway, I could go into a detailed description of my boring weekend but I won't, I'll save y'all the experience.
I saw a commercial for some kind of hearing aide/amplifier and it made me think about something that NLR Brad did. We were living at Kristen's and I was selling, it was me, Casey, Frog, Brad and Ron. Brad was one of these people who had to do speed w/ his H, we called it a goofball. I don't care for it but Brad wouldn't have it any other way. Essentially the speed would cancel out the H and he would be well but tweeked. He was technically a heroin addict but he never really got loaded because of the speed.
He used to get super paranoid and do all kinds of weird shit, after a week or so of being up he would start to talk in an annoying Donald Duck voice and strip down to his boxers right before he crashed. For some reason I would always find him in his underwear muttering Donald-speak with only one shoe on. One shoe on every fucking time!
Anyway, we had been having alot of drama with the cops, they were constantly cruising by the house and stopping people as they left, trying to catch somebody holding. They followed us to the store and anywhere else we went and it was pretty obvious that they were gonna hit us soon.
So one day Ron comes racing into the room and he's laughing and shaking his head, he had gone to the store with Brad to get some foil and Brad had found something that caught his interest. I was trying to get info out of a giggling Ron when Brad comes in and announces that he has the solution to our impending raid dilemma. Casey, Frog and I were all ears, we had been trying to figure out something that would buy us some time once the cops were closing in.
So we watched as Brad pulled out 5 little plastic toys, a roll of speaker wire and some electrical tape. Mystified I looked to Ron who just shook his head and looked away smiling. Mr. NLR had launched into a tweek induced explanation that took way too long and made absolutely NO sense. I tried to get a clear answer but after about 20 minutes of nothing but convoluted tweek speak Frog yelled out, "He wants to use the toys as a ghetto surveillance system!" Frog was better at deciphering tweeker than the rest of us.
I took one of the toys and lo and behold it was a 50 cent ear spy, the kind you get out of a candy machine. He had 5 of these things and quickly recruited Frog, Casey and Ron to help him with his project.
The help involved belly crawling through the yard laying wire (because the cops might be watching and surely they wouldn't notice 4 dipshits slithering through 3 inch grass)and then placing the ear spies at various intervals around the yard. I sat in the house and laughed at them while yelling disparaging comments out the window.
After they were done, Brad wired it all up to some headphones and proceeded to tweek off on every little noise. It sounded like shit by the way, all you could hear was cars driving by and birds chirping.
Needless to say it didn't work the way it was supposed to(shocking I know) and the morning we got hit the only thing heard (it was wired to a speaker by then)was crickets chirping and Brad gibbering Donald-speak while he washed his car in the his boxers with one shoe on. *sigh*
That particular raid is a story in itself, it was funny as hell! All I can say is we musta been pretty jaded to find it as amusing as we did. I'll have to tell y'all about it if anybody cares. Fuckin' BPD is always good for a laugh.
Pretty random post. I guess I'm still a lil burned out, like that time I did too much coke and nitrous and forgot how to tie my shoes for a week. Wow, that sounds bad, even to me.
I guess that's enough for now, I'll leave y'all to your own devices. Happy Sunday kids, XOXO Melody