As per a special myspace request I've attempted sleep and have dragged my ass to the computer to bang out the tale of the crystal fiasco. UGH, I still feel like crrrrraaaap! I passed out sometime this morning....finally and had maybe 5 hours of sleep. Sorry about the phone k1tten, I left it.......somewhere and didn't hear it.
Fuck it's cold.........
Sunday night:
The phone rang for like 15 minutes before I answered it, Casey was in bed and I was watching Entourage so it was probably around 10pm....11pm? Something like that, the voice blaring out at me was that of the meth monster. What followed was possibly the most complex convo ever.
Rainman: "Whatcha doin?"
Me: "Watching Entourage."
Rainman: "Gonna come get you, tell your old man you're heading out."
Me: "Nope."
Rainman: "He asleep?"
Me: "Yup"
Rainman: "Leave him a note and get ready."
Me: "Uh uh."
Rainman: "What'cha got something better to do?"
Me: "Jeremy Piven."
Rainman: "Who? Tell that guy to get fucked, we're going for a drive."
Me: *snort-mumble*
Rainman : "Get ready, I'm getting in the car right now."
Me: "No."
Rainman: "Be there in twenty..."
Me: "N...no."
Rainman: "I'll honk...."
Me: "No."
Rainman: "In twenty." *click*
Me: "Hello? FUCK!!!"
He did NOT answer when I called back....tweekin' bastard! I knew if I didn't get ready he'd wake up the whole street with his stupid honking and then probably come pound on the door and wake up Casey too. Some people obviously can't take no for an answer.
It was so freakin' cold I put on jeans and a thermal shirt and grabbed my hoodie. I ended up taking this stupid long leather coat that is HUGE! It's seriously like 2 whole cows and it looks all Matrix. L-A-M-E!
Anyway it seemed like he took longer than twenty minutes but that might be because I was in a foul mood and feeling uncharitable. When he pulled up he was driving one of his project cars, some lowered junker with a furry gold interior that was covered in bondo/primer. Disco tweeker mobile.... fucking brilliant! All that car needs are plates that say "ARRSTME* to be complete. It's a rolling cop magnet, especially after 10pm on a Sunday night.
As soon as I opened the door I got knocked back by the smell of speed and hot glass. That fool was hitting his pipe right in front of the house! I wouldn't really mind but for the fact that there are two(count 'em) FPD cocksuckers that live not five houses away from me. New Mexico cops are pretty thick but COME ON!
I got in the car and slumped down in the seat, pissed to be out in the cold and none too enthused about the pipe being shoved in my face. I musta said "fuck off" 5 times......before I took it. Haha, I'm no pushover.
After a couple hits I was feeling tons friendlier so I asked where we were going and got a sideways smirk for my trouble.
"T' pick up a car."
That's all he would say so I busied myself with the pipe and took the wheel occasionally so he could hit it too. Fuck it right? I was already stuck so why not go all out.
We drove for about 15 min heading out on one of the various dirt roads that surround this shit town. Rainman pulled into what looked like a truck yard. There was a rusty double wide hidden behind all the equipment.....SHOCKER!
We got out and he had me run up to the door to get keys. When the door opened it was my old friend Gabby aka torebackula aka the rabid bitch that bit me. That dump smelled like ether and dog farts, stellar combo. I rolled my eyes, held out my hand and said, "Keys." I can convey more with an eye-roll than most people can with a whole speech.
She stared at me like a stupid heifer (my sincerest apologies to cows the world over)and then spun around and went into the bowels(haha) of the dog fart trailer. I'd be damned if I was gonna go after her,it fucking stunk in there! I went back to the car where Rainman was digging through the trunk. I was just in time to see him pull what looked alot like a gun from behind his back and stash it in the trunk......@%*&#@%*!FUCK!
I'm not gun phobic unless I happen to be traveling with a person known as the meth savant. I don't call him that for no reason, he's a dipshit and I'm a bigger dipshit for letting myself get embroiled in another one of his schemes. Lets not forget that this is the same genius who thought it would be a super idea to give 19 yr old Richie and Eric a couple balls of cryssy.......TO SELL! The same shit they later got popped for.
Anyway, I made it clear that I would walk home(ugh) if he didn't rid himself of any and all firearms. I was so not up to getting jailed for traipsing around with an armed felon who is also absconding from parole, the both of us wired as fuck with God knows how much speed in our possession.
He assured me he was gun free and asked for the keys, a smart assed smile on his dopey face. I informed him that Miss Torebackula had fled into stinky recesses of the hell trailer. He laughed and said that was because she was scared.
Scared? Of me? I can't imagine why that is.
He said it's because I made her into a snaggle-puss. What the fuck? Apparently it happened sometime during our little disagreement. It musta been while she repeatedly rammed her face into my fist that she chipped her front tooth on my ring. Not my fault.
He went after the keys himself (brave soul) and came out laughing because Gabby had barricaded herself in the bedroom and had shoved the keys under the door. What a cooze!
We walked behind the trailer and climbed into a big-ass truck, complete with KC lights and tool bed. This shit was just getting better and better. He said we were gonna use the crane on the back to..........retrieve something.
At this point I was wishing that Rainman had blown himself up long before we had the chance to cross paths. Not that I'm saying he would have any reason to be in a meth lab explosion, it's just some random scenario I pulled outta my ass.
I don't really know where we went because it was dark and everything looks the same in this wasteland. It had been raining that week so it was muddy and Rainman was driving like a retard. That stupid truck was sliding all over the place, making it extremely difficult for me to smoke my speed with any degree of confidence.
On the way he filled me in on Eric and Richie but that's a story for another time. We got where we were going(BFE) and he got out and turned on some spotlight thingie and started sweeping it around. I was not thrilled to find out that we were in some mud pit on the most godforsaken patch of earth ever created (besides Vegas).In the dark no less. Perfect!
He found what he was looking for because he came and tapped on the window and said he needed help. I climbed outta the truck and promptly ate shit, landing on my ass in the mud, luckily that queer leather coat was between me and the ground. I did however get mud all over my hands and feet (my green chucks are currently brown).
He had me hold a flashlight while he fucked with the crane, it took me a minute to realize that the spotlight was shining on a muddy lump of metal. Looking closer I saw that it was a car buried halfway in mud and tipped at a funny angle like it was in a ditch. Brilliant! I can only surmise that some moron was driving that car out there in the rain when one of those oh-so-famous flash floods hit and wiped him out into a ditch. I had a pretty good idea who that moron was too, he was standing to my left fucking with crane controls.
I had a bit of a shock when I realized that said moron was preparing to boom the crane all the way out to lever the car outta the mud. Idiot! We were flailing around in calf-deep sludge and this fool was gonna get us stuck or worse. Explaining the situation took way longer than it should have because for some reason Rainman couldn't grasp the concept. I think he finally gave up trying and took my word for it. He went for the winch instead. I woulda said fuck it and come back when it was dry but he had to do it right then....of course.
Flash forward to Rainman sliding (in the mud) under the car and "retrieving" something. I had no desire whatsoever to know what was taped in that package but I could imagine. I was not happy, he on the other hand was whistling he was so pleased with himself......dimwit!
"OK" he said, "Lets go."
I asked him what he was gonna do about the car.
"Leave it, it won't come back to me anyway"
It's things like that that make me wonder how it's possible that the same individual can be so smart in one sitch yet so stupid in another. He truly is a meth savant.
We drove back to his place and after disappearing into the bedroom for a few he came back with a plate. On top of this plate was some cryssy, a new point and a spoon. Haha Rainman just went up in status. I needed something to perk me up anyway, I was felling a little limp and the pipe wasn't doing it for me no more. I banged a shot that was likely too much and after I was able to breathe again I hit him up for some clothes and a shower. I felt so much better afterwards even though I was wearing camouflage pants and a Slayer T-shirt.
I made it home that morning sometime after 10am and proceeded to do jack shit besides shoot the rest of the cryssy R-man gave me for tagging along. By Monday night I was a wreck and finally busted out the H so I could get some relief. It lasted about as long as it took for me to write my previous post and smoke a cigarette. Before I knew it the speed in my system ate up all the H and I was back where I started. UGH!
I spent most of Tuesday morning online plotting a trip to Oregon and finally passed out sometime last night. Never again! I always say that but maybe this time I'll stick to it....maybe.
So that's it, I finally got it out, hope it was worth the wait Rufus. Tune in next time for a Richie update and possibly a war story if I'm feeling up to it. For the first time in a long time I'm looking forward to a boring week so I doubt there will be much to write about but one never knows with me. Love from muddy New Mexico, Melody
