Sunday, August 31, 2008

This is your brain on drugs

So I actually wrote this last night and after reading it I have decided that it is an excellent example of why meth should be avoided at all costs. I feel like I got hit by a truck! I will 'JUST SAY NO' the next time speed is offered, although the sex was awesome. I'm sure it will take a loooooong time for me to forget this miserable comedown enough to actually do it again. A couple of weeks at least. HAHA, laugh fuckers, it's funny. Enjoy my speed induced diarrhea of the brain. The following is based on a true story.

This is going to be very long and very involved as I am still wired from last night (and this morning and this afternoon.......... and maybe an few hours ago). That's right friends, I gave in and did some speed. Speed is such a antiquated term, every time I say it people are like 'You talkin about ice?' Yeah I am........ or crystal or glass or even crank although it's been years since I actually came across some plain old fashioned crank. Give it all the fancy names you want it's still just speed. I don't want to get any shit from people correcting me either, yes I do know the difference between amphetamines and methamphetamine.
First off, Richie showed last night. He had the good sense to bring his friends Samantha and Eric with him. It looks so much better when Casey comes in and sees I'm not the only pair of tits in the room. Not to state the obvious but they had a little over an 8 ball of crystal on them and I let myself be persuaded.
We set up camp in the back room. I have everything a tweeker could possibly want back there plus I am currently covering the walls, doors and ceiling in posters, records, stickers ect. so it's the quintessential tweek project room.
They were already pretty spun but Eric cut lines for everyone, you gotta love that taste! After about ten minutes of serious drainage and probably a whole a pack of smokes Sammi pulled out her pipe and we started passing that around.
I am not a huge fan of meth but once I start smoking I am relentless! Instead of tweeking off on writing shit or cleaning or some other project I geek out on the pipe. If I'm not actively smoking it then I am wiping it on my jeans or holding it up to the light to find the best hits or even just holding it.
Anyway I could feel my pipe obsession coming on so I went in the backyard to catch my breath. My scalp was/is all tingly and I could/can feel my heart hammering in my chest. Chain smoking in order to keep myself occupied I sat out there for I don't know how long. Richie came out to get me because they decided to amuse themselves by hanging shit on the walls and needed my expert direction.
Next time I looked at the clock it was after 5 am. I was starting to wilt a bit, even though we had been hitting the pipe almost non-stop. Eric asked if he could use the bathroom and I noticed that he took his back pack with him. I lurked outside the door and heard the distinct sound of spoon hitting tile. I gave it a second and then heard the unmistakable tap tap of someone flicking a rigg. When he finally came out and saw me standing there he started to apologize but I just smiled and said,'I won't tell if you don't" and pushed him back into the bathroom. He looked a little confused until I reached under the sink and pulled out a new point.
After doing a shot that left me gasping for air I felt considerably better than before. We were runnin at the mouth for a few minutes, him asking me how long I had been IVing and me asking him the same. It turns out that a member of Eric's family was a pretty serious meth head/dealer and he not only turned Eric on to the cryssy but onto the needle as well.
We must have been in there for an hour because Richie came knocking on the door asking what was going on. I think he thought we were fucking or something because he sounded all pissy. I looked out the window and saw that the sun was starting to come up. Not thinking, I opened the door and hustled us all back into the room, Casey was gonna be up soon. I sat on the couch and put my feet up on Richie's lap, not realizing that I had a streak of dried blood going down my right foot.
Richie saw it and thought I had cut myself on something. He had my ankle in a death grip, looking for the source of the blood. Eric got all edgy and scared but I gave him a look and shook my head. Sammi was looking up at us from the floor and by the expression on her face I could tell she knew what was up. Yanking my foot out of Richie's hands I stood up and led him outside, mouthing 'Don't worry' to Eric on the way out. I wasn't gonna tell on him, I was gonna tell on myself.
I sat him down on the swing and just spilled all about my past and present use of needles. I was so fucking spun I couldn't have shut up if I wanted to. I fibbed a bit and told him that I had taken Eric aside and asked him to hook me up with enough to do a shot. I said nothing about Eric besides that. It was me and me alone.
He took it pretty well, seeming almost fascinated by every detail as it revealed it. He was still questioning me when Casey came out to smoke. He took one look at us and said, "I'm not even gonna ask, just save me some for when I get off work." He gave me a kiss and walked back in the house mumbling something about jail bait and well deserved ass-kicking. Richie looked decidedly uncomfortable. I patted him on the head and went back inside.
After seeing Casey off to work I checked in on my little friends, they had put up everything! The walls and ceiling were covered. Sammi was even sewing pillow covers for me out of some leopard print fabric I had laying around. Impressive, I would never have done anything so productive.
Things got weird a little later on because me and Eric were conspiring to do another shot but Richie was clocking every move we made. I could do it but Eric was fucked unless he wanted to out himself. When we had a moment alone I told Eric to dish me out a little go powder and I would fix up right there in the room. With Richie busy watching me, he could go do his thing in the john. It worked, Richie couldn't take his eyes off me and Eric was able to sneak off.
The usual meth activities followed, I sat and talked with Eric, Richie played DJ on the stereo and Sammi started to clean the house. I gotta have that girl over more often!
Eric was whispering to me, telling me why he didn't want Richie to know he was a hype. I found out that Richie's mom was a total psycho meth monster and that she sent him to live with his grandma a few years back. I guess he had to look after her alot. Coincidentally she also used needles, giving Richie ample reason to dislike them.
Being that Eric is his best friend, he doesn't want that shit to come between them. He said it was really strange that Richie didn't go off when I told him because he had seen it happen before with other people.
This has me worried! I don't like the fact that he acted so interested when I told him and when I was doing it. I may be a morally bankrupt drug addict but I don't turn on little kids to the exciting world of shooting hard drugs. They can go elsewhere and figure it out. I didn't care so much when I was 16/17 but at that time I barely knew what I was doing so it didn't seem to be a big deal if one of my friends wanted to try it. It's different now, I am barely able to hold myself responsible for me, I can't possibly take on others too.
I promised Eric that I would keep his secret and also stay quiet about the info on Richie's family. He hooked me up with a fat little stash, I guess he had some apart from what they had busted out originally. Niiiiice!
They left just before Casey got home, around 6:30. I hit Casey with a shot that had him coughing and we've spent the last few hours having a meth fueled fuck fest. Sex on meth is fun! He is now in the garage taking apart his drum set, trying to locate the cause of a mysterious rattle that only he can hear. Fuckin' tweeker!
I have enough left for another shot for each of us and then it's comedown city, what fun. At least Mindy isn't here, watching her gnaw on her cheek would be too fucking much to bear.
I'm gonna go now because if I don't this will turn into the longest post in blogger history, no joke! I'll have to tell the Josh drama later, when I am a little less amped, Josh baby, you get a pass for now. Melody