Saturday, August 16, 2008

Boredom.......a catalyst for trouble

So I left the short version on myspace but since I feel the need to purge myself of the info I will spill the beans on what happened yesterday. After I posted I was feeling like I needed to go do something . Being a predictable girl, I went looking for you know who. I know, I know, bad idea but too late fuckers it's done!
I didn't do anything I shouldn't have really but I guess just the fact that I was with him at all is a no no. He is sooo persistent, like I've said before, teenage hormones are a nightmare! I don't think I have ever been subjected to so many creative methods.
I have to say I am pretty experienced when it comes to guy of all ages but this kid is something else, he pulls out all the stops! He is truly impressive. He can go from over confident cocky guy to sensitive, puppy dog eyes guy to understanding best friend guy at the drop of a hat. He is like a getting laid prodigy, either that or a sociopath.
HMMM, that could prove interesting , I do seem to have a fascination with boys who have weird or scary personality flaws. I mean come on, I think Richard Ramirez is hotter than hot and he did all kinds of fucked up shit. Are you my little Night stalker? Yes you are! I know I am not alone on the serial killer thing, Lora has a crush on Dahmer for fuck sake. Dennis Raider was also pretty cute in high school. If Richie turns out to be a Ted Bundy-like chameleon I suppose that would just make him more attractive. I am sooo sick and wrong sometimes I amaze myself.
Anyway, I found Richie at the park, next to the half pipe and we walked over to the wooded area at the back, his friends were being all nosy so we had to go there to get away. I didn't mince words, I asked if he had any drugs right off. At that point I would have done whatever he had. He of course had weed. I have mentioned before that I really don't smoke too much so when I do I get super fucked up.
We were laying back in the shade, him shirtless (we were on it) and me just stoned out of my mind. For some reason I lose time when I get that way, it's like I can't gauge whether it's been minutes or hours. Anyway, Richie started in on his game and let me tell you he was giving it his all.
First it was the, "Come on , you know you want to get with this" approach. When I started giggling he immediately went for,"You know how I feel about you, you're not like any girl I've ever met*deep eye contact*,your just different, you make me feel different , in here *hand on stomach* and here*hand on heart*." I think I was more engrossed in his hand on his bare stomach than anything else, especially that dopey speech. What a crock of poo!
I had to take a deep breath to keep from laughing, I bet the post adolescent girlie's just sigh and drop trou when he busts that one out. I did not.
It was probably taken word for word from an episode of Dawson's Creek, ugh sickeningly sweet! Instead I reminded him that I had an old man and that we should be friends and nothing more. This was a little difficult because alot of my thoughts about Richie go way beyond friend and also because he was shirtless but I was being good girlfriend girl so I said it.
He then morphed into understanding friend guy, " I understand, it's just so hard because I want to have more than that with you, I can't help thinking about it. I'll respect what you want though. Friends are allowed to get close aren't they? I mean if we're just friends it's okay if I scoot closer and maybe put my arm over you? "
He is such a little shit! It was like a three pronged attack and I wasn't gonna let any of those prongs anywhere near me. It's hard for me to concentrate when I'm that fucked up, so it made it harder for him to interact with me. When he got right up next to me, close enough that I could feel how happy he was to be there, I picked up his arm and moved it off my waist. Then, getting to my feet I leaned against the tree and just smiled at him shaking my head, "You are something else" I told him.
I think he took it for the compliment it was cause he smiled that amazing smile and just lay there, propped up on his arms. Fuck! He is gonna be the end of me. I never really know what to expect from him, I just know that it will involve him trying to charm his way into my drawers. And he is oh so charming! Since I am always sooo fucking bored I think that is what drives me to seek him out even though that is the last thing I should do. That and the fact that he is an adorable little fucker. Not so little actually, He is taller than I am maybe 6 ft and has a really nice body, not too muscular. Guys swelled up with muscles look gross, like they got stung by bees so he is just right. He has the same build as Casey, tall and lean with good definition but nothing outta control.
MMMMM, when I think about what I would do with the both of them...........lets just say I shouldn't think about it.
We smoked some more and then he walked me back to the truck. It was getting dark already, I had been there for almost 5 hours (told you I lose time). He walked behind me, his fingers hooked in my belt loops. I told him it was like he was my prison bitch and he said that sounded like a game he could get into. Ahhhh that kid!
We made it to the truck and he tried to kiss me but I turned my face so he ended up with his mouth on my jawline right under my ear. That was almost worse than his original intention because that spot makes me go all melty like. I pulled away and climbed in the cab of the truck, it was a near thing, that feeling of his breath on my neck.
He shut the door and asked when he was gonna see me again, I just smiled and said I would surprise him and show up when he least expected it. He told me I better 'cause we were friends now and friends keep in touch. I know the kind of touch he's talking about.
I left and rolled up to the house around 8pm about 4 hours after Casey got home from work. Needless to say he was less than pleased. He didn't say much but I know he wanted to. I was still high and fell back on that to keep his questions at bay.
I am being good! I have repelled all Richie attacks to date, even though I want to give in sometimes. I do love Casey, it's just hard being here alone all day, not able to see my friends or go anywhere. I mean I could go somewhere but there is nothing to do here. I am too old to be making friends all over again anyway. I have no desire to do so, I want the people I grew up with, people I have know all my life. How can I replace that? It's impossible.
So I do this crap with Richie because sitting at home, bored puts me in a troublesome mood. It makes me do things I oughtn't. It makes me go looking for some kind of shit to get into because that is what I'm used to. I'm used to being in the thick of things, jumping from one misadventure to another. I am trying to change but it's just my nature to get into shit situations. A trouble magnet, that's me. I need to try harder I guess. Alot harder.