Casey has proven his worth once again, he does that occasionally. I'm just talkin' shit, he is marvelous, fabulous, irreplaceable!
Last night we drove out into the desert and just sat. It was nice, listening to music just relaxing. I will admit that the desert is pretty at night. The sky looks so big here and you can actually see the stars. In Cali there is too much smog, all the stars are on Hollywood blvd. I love smog! I love driving into L.A and breathing in the pollution, you get a head change and it's like you know you're in the city. Beautiful!
Anyway, we talked about all kinds of shit, our life here, plans for the future. It was a very grown up sort on conversation. He doesn't really like it here either but his job is way to good and we are so secure that it would be suicide to abandon it. I know all this, I am not a moron. My problem is that I thrive on chaos and I seem to be going about creating my own since there is none readily available.
He asked me about the other night when I came home all stoned and I told him where I was. He was amazingly calm about the whole thing which was a little scary at first because sometimes he does that before he loses it. He just told me that he believed me when I said that I had been good. Oh and that if I did happen to let that kid (I didn't tell him his name) get his way things might get ugly. I suppose that isn't a surprise, it's what I've said all along. I don't want Richie hurt, I think if we can get past all that flirty shit he would be a cool friend to have. If he can't then I guess I will just have to let him go, too bad really we have alot in common but Casey means more to me than Richie ever will.
He gave me some presents too. I am not a very material girl I have to say, I grew up unbearably spoiled but it didn't stick. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely self-centered in that I want what I want and will do anything to get it. However I am not one of those girls who gets all wet over expensive jewelery and the like unless I was thinking of what they might fetch at the pawn shop. I can take it or leave it and I HATE gold.
Anyway he had bought me these AWESOME creepers (NOT creeper sneakers) from DR Strange, they are black with a red patent panel with black zebra stripes and a silver buckle strap.I love them! He also welded me a belt buckle out of an old pair of brass betties we had, they are wicked! They have 1/2 inch spikes over each finger hole and would seriously hurt someone. He made it so I can actually take 'em off the belt and use them if I want, not like most knuckle buckles. I don't think I would because those spikes would make hamburger outta people but it is nice to have the option.
It was soooo sweet, he does stuff for me all the time but really doesn't think about gifts and such unless it's my b-day or x-mas. I don't mind, it just makes the times he does get me stuff all the better. He also know exactly what I like and would never waste money buying me a stupid gold ring or something, he would take all that $$ and get me something I really want.
I am not a typical girl, the first gift he ever gave me was his stiletto when we were 14/15 and squatting in L.A. and I thought it was the most romantic gesture ever! I still have it too.
I got a curious message on my machine from someone back home, something to do with communists and Baja. It was kinda garbled so I will have to see what develops. If it is what I think it is then the chaos I miss so much may have just found me here in NM. I am hesitant and excited and a little scared. I am sooo bad with temptation and if the "communists " turn out to be some old aquaintances then I will be in some serious shit! I can hardly wait to find out. Calexico here I come.
Do svindaniya commrades, Melody Lee
