Tuesday, January 27, 2009

When life hands you lemons....you make lemon juice and use it to bang crack: Friday night

Welcome to my wasteland.

Ugh, I'm so tired and this is probably gonna take more time than it(the story) is worth. As you all know every one of my minutes is precious....even if I'm just being my usual ass draggin self.
I'll just go into it, if I don't I'll get caught up in some random rambling and lose sight of the objective...to post about my Friday night rug burn adventure.
It started out as a regular evening, Casey and myself had settled in for a round of movie watching/pill popping/drinking/whatever the fuck when the phone rang. Casey rolled his eyes and gave me a dirty look as is his habit any time this happens. He never gets calls so he knows it's for me (I'm amazingly popular) and for some reason this makes him pissy.
Usually it's the junky underground, sometimes it's Josh (ugh Josh) and sometimes it's Rainman. This time it happened to be Rainman sounding exasperated and frighteningly geeked. He squawked something unintelligible and then demanded to speak with Casey. I held out the phone and my beloved shot me an even dirtier look before he snatched it outta my hand...grabby bastard!
All I got from his side of the conversation was that R-man was asking permission to kidnap me for the night. How sweet! I was feeling a bit insulted when the phone was thrust back at me but R-man gave me no opportunity to tell him what I thought of his high-handed tactics. He was burbling and sputtering at such an alarming rate that I thought he was gonna go into some kind of spasticated seizure.
I was able to make out the words favor,30 minutes,Gallup, babysit, kick down and Oxy. I'm sure y'all can figure out which of those words caught my attention. I glanced over at Casey who said, "Go ahead, it's not like me telling you no is gonna make a difference anyway." Does my honey know me or what?
I blew him a kiss and informed Rainman that yes I would be ready in 30, come and get me. I suffered through Casey's snide commentary while I got dressed and then assured him that it was for the greater good. I was about to subject myself to unknown realms of tweeker shenanigans just so I could bring home something more substantial that Percocet and Xanax. I'm not just thinking of myself when I do these things!
I was out the door just seconds before R-man pulled up in his disco-tweeker mobile *sigh* I opened the door and was greeted by the familiar smell of speed a-cookin in the pipe. I climbed into the car and we were off, it took me a minute to squint past the cloud of cryysy and make out Maniac riding in the back. Haha that bitch was finally learning his place.
He leered at me and shoved the pipe in my direction...and yeah, I took it. Why the fuck not? In for a penny in for a pound...
Anyway we were off and between hits I managed to find out that we were going to pick up some guy and "something else" and then drive to Gallup to deliver these items to Bubba. If y'all don't remember I made that trip once before with Eric, it was the house full of scary dirthead motherfuckers and tweeked out dogs.
We drove out onto the res and pulled up to some godforsaken trailer home. R-man motioned us to come with him and as we were walking to the door Maniac told me that I was in for a treat. He was just about to elaborate when R-man told him to shut the fuck up. Not a good sign.
I was thinking to myself that as long as this trailer didn't smell like speed and dog farts I would consider myself ahead of the game. We were ushered inside by some emaciated girl who could have been anywhere from 30 to 300. The boys strolled in like they were the Rolling Stones, getting treated like some kind of meth Gods. Haha LAME but whatever, some of the awe was sent in my direction since I was lucky enough to be travelling in their exalted company. Pffffft!
The living room was FULL of tweekers in various states of spun out-ed-ness and we made our way through that nightmare and into one of the back bedrooms (there's always a back bedroom).
At this point I was feeling fairly tingly and I was totally unprepared for what happened next. There were two guys in the room (it's not what you think)and they were smoking up on either side of a FAT pile of what looked and smelled like crack. I was inhaling the fumes, not really paying attention when a third guy emerged from the bathroom and walked up to us. Enter the new lust interest.
He smiled at me and asked R-man if I was the girl he'd been telling him about. I was semi-mesmerized by the fact that he was not only hot as fuck but also had Black Flag bars tattooed on his neck hmmmmmm.....
His name was Adrian and he cordially invited me to join him in the bathroom for a shot.He had hellacious tracks on his arms intermingled with prison-y tats and some bruises, Christ could he get any more delicious? The answer is yes. He became damn near irresistible when he loaded a new point with some go solution and handed it to me. Too bad it was speed and not H, had it been heroin I may not have been responsible for my actions. I believe I've mentioned my attraction to guys with neck tattoos, IV issues and weird personality flaws. So what.
He pulled off his belt and offered it to me, what a gentleman! I was about to do my thing when I noticed the lemon halves on the counter. What the fuck? As addled as I was by his nearness (he was way too close) my druggie data bank kicked in and I remembered what such things were used for.
"Am I about to bang crack?" I asked in a calm voice.
He laughed and said, "No." Good enough, I took his word for it and threaded myself in record time. I was enjoying the heart stopping feeling when he crouched down and unwrapped his belt from my ankle, the little darling. I was still trying to catch my breath when he stuck himself and watching him do it was .....nice.
*deep breath* I'll try and refrain from going into superfluous details about how magnificent he looked at that moment....with a point in his hand...and after....bloody...
So I was relearning how to breath when Maniac tapped on the door and said we were getting ready to leave. Just as well, this Adrian thing could get messy. I love Casey and I will NOT be led astray by speed enhanced hormones!
As we walked out Adrian asked if he could call me, Maniac rolled his eyes and R-man chittered out something that sounded like "mlah mlah Casey mlah kill your ass." I ignored them and said maybe it would be best if I just ran into him later, seeing as how my old man might become unhinged if one more guy was added to the phone roster.
He said that would be cool and we left him there in the back bedroom. We had been joined by one of the crack smokers and made our merry way out into the night.
R-man took me aside and told me the plan. We were gonna drive this guy to Gallup, drop him, his vehicle and "something else" at Bubba's and then drive back. Maniac was gonna drive with me and crack boy and R-man was gonna follow in the disco mobile.
I was almost relieved (I have an irrational dislike for the disco mobile) until Maniac pulled around in a van that would have been at home on the set of the A-team. It was an honest to God 70's raper van.
R-man then told me that reason I would not be driving was because he needed me to keep an eye on David (crack boy) who was apparently a wackadoo of Amy Winehouse-like proportions. The wackadoo who had thus far remained silent began to giggle. UGH!
I resigned myself to my assignment and made my way towards the van. I had to climb in through the back doors and whilst crawling into the blackness I felt what had to be shag carpet under my hands. Are you fucking kidding me?
Crack boy scuttled in behind me and we headed out. Maniac promptly began to give me shit for the Adrian episode, telling me that he hadn't seen me act that way since Richie got locked up. He went on to say that it was appropriate since Richie had been 19 and Adrian was..........20. WHAT????
He couldn't be! Though he probably spoke no more than 20 words to me I had thought him to be extremely mature and eloquent and oh fuck it! He was 20 and thus relegated to the hands off pile. *sigh*
The nutcase next to me had started to giggle again and I had to resist the urge to pinch him. I felt like I should have been armed with a tranq gun and some zip ties. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely attracted to weird but this fool was just annoying!

Shit! I have another appointment to go to, so I'm afraid the rest of this will have to wait til I get back. It's probably for the best since this is getting long as fuck. Loves you, Melody