Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The power of prayer

Ask and you shall receive! I was just whining about how I haven't gotten any negative comments in like FOREVER and presto, some fucktard left a steamy pile of smug douchebaggery for me to shovel through. Thank you Jesus!
I still feel like crap and a senseless rant is just the thing I need right now.

["Sooooooooo *long pause* Melody, what exactly is it you think I can help you with?"
Why does that bother you-- you know that you are beyond help. Actually, it sounds like the psych has you figured out real good. You do love to play the crazy fucked up loser and have made it your identity. Probably cause you're too scared to try to accomplish anything in life. You just don't realize how pathetic it is for an adult to act like a fucked up teenager. Do you plan to be 40 and act like this?]

Anon as usual you missed the point of that entire post. What I have been saying all along is that the fact that she (the psych)asks questions with NO intention of waiting for my answer...that is the issue. She should at least attempt a pretense of listening to what I'm saying. Me being beyond help is beside the point, when did I ever claim to be redeemable...or want to be for that matter?
I may be a loser but at least I'm not trolling the internet believing I have some kind of special insight and leaving inane ANONYMOUS comments. Why not try expressing your opinion without coming off like an embittered old fuck? What's wrong anon, was your mommy a junky and you just can't let it go? No? Let me guess, you're just a decent upstanding citizen speaking for the rest of the repressed masses? Or maybe you are *gasp* a sheisty quack of a psychiatrist who has gotten offended by my opinion of that particular profession?
You have a problem with my irresponsible actions and irrepressible need for adventure and I couldn't care in the least. That's the beauty of it all don't you see? I can act any way I please....and so can you for that matter. I just choose to be what I am ...and you choose to be a douchebag.
I don't have to pretend to be anything because I have nothing to lose by being myself and I just don't care enough about the status quo to try and do otherwise. I should think it would be much more offensive for me to be a hypocrite and play at being something I'm not. Believe me anon, the world has more than enough self satisfied assholes scurrying about, I don't think I need to add myself to that number. I may come off as an asshole most of the time but I'm a likable asshole, you are just an asshole. So I'm immature? So fucking what! Why don'tcha come over here and say that to my face you pussified assclown? Heheh......how's that for immature?
I've been in situations (legal and illegal)that would make people twice my age shit their pants. I'm not really afraid to try anything, I'm just apathetic about the so called "American dream" I'm supposed to be striving for.
Why the fuck should I work my ass off for something I don't even remotely want....or believe in for that matter? Just so I can be considered productive in the eyes of other self righteous windbags like yourself? I think not.
Also I'm not exactly living in the gutter, not that it would change my opinion if I was. Regardless of what I do and the things I get myself into I live pretty much like any other person, I pay bills, work and all that other shit, so you can stuff all that insight up your anus.
I'm having fun and I'm content which is probably more than you can say for yourself. I don't think you're very happy anon, I mean assholes like you give assholes a bad name. If you were truly secure you wouldn't have to search out conflict just to make yourself feel better. I know all about this for I am supposed to be as insecure as it gets! My clever witticisms allegedly mask an inferiority complex as big as it is vicious but unlike you I make it work for me.
All this bitterness is not good for you! I feel for the people who are forced to endure your superior attitude, mostly because you have nothing to feel superior about. I don't care if you are the most successful person on earth, you are still an asshole and nobody likes an asshole......unless the asshole happens to be me. *smirk*
Am I gonna be this way when I'm 40? Hmmm one can only hope. My worst fear is that by that time I'll have declined into a pompous shit for brains that believes that the whole world should be one safe little cookie cutter existence. God forbid!
I think if anything you're the one whose scared anon, scared to face the fact that as fucked up as I am I can still live and function without having to open myself up to the drudgery you "upstanding citizens" call your everyday life. You can't possibly be satisfied, if you were you wouldn't be so fired up about me and my nonsense.
You think I should find something more "adult" to occupy my time? Haha that's rich coming from someone who spends their time leaving lame comments on a blog. Do you know me because I could swear I've dealt with this particular brand of vitriolic commentary somewhere before....or maybe it's as I've always said, y'all are cut from the same anal retentive cloth and have started to sound alike as well.
Haha, I do feel a bit better now although this probably would have gone on for days had Regina not called and distracted me. She seems to be worried about me and this chick's pervo cousin becoming enamored of one another and jumping a plane to some unknown destination. HAHA that is so not gonna happen, he's just not my type of perv.
I'll clue everyone in on Friday's mayhem tomorrow after I get back from my EMG. Is it just me or is it extremely anti-climactic to get poked with needles and then feel NOTHING!! I hate that shit, my heart gets all fluttery and then they poke me and I'm left waiting for a sensation that is never gonna come. I've been a hype for too long, needle+me=high and anything less is a disappointment. Just like watching dope movies, I can't do that shit unless I'm loaded because it makes me edgy and expectant. Trainspotting and Drugstore Cowboy are like porn for junkies.
However I should be able to enjoy both those movies shortly......y'all know what I mean. I can't wait! It's been positively ages since I got to shoot anything better than Oxy and it's about damn time for some dope if you ask me.
Son of a bitch! Fat mike is currently shredding my new amp and no amount of pleading, shouting etc will get him to leave it the fuck alone! He is so freakin' cute I can't even stay angry at him, I guess the amp gets lugged to the garage.
Well anyway goodnight all, hugs and kisses galore til next we meet. XOXOXOXOXOXOX, Melody