Friday, December 26, 2008

Is there such a thing as a selfless asshole? There is now!

Wowee! It's been a few days huh? I have no excuse as usual....just because. The kitty pic becomes relevant later on in the post, just thought I' let y'all know. I have some new friends online that came my way via Regina. Junky girls, you can never have enough of those around! I'm being totally sincere! I like 'em.....excepting the freaky cousin of one of these girls who seems to have become obsessed with banging me at some point in the future.
Interesting, I seem to have made another conquest by doing nothing more than being my usual charming self. Understandable really, I am unbelievably charming and infinitely interesting haha.
Not too worried about the pervo cousin, he's in NYC and I don't imagine I'm gonna be there any time soon. Since I'm on the subject I might as well tell y'all the story of the Hot Topic goth drama, I was just oooooooozing personality that day hehe.
My psych appt had been forced upon me and having just left the office of the condescending cunt that is my therapist I was in an amazing mood. Add to that the fact that I had to walk my lazy ass 6 blocks to buy some cigarettes and you might begin to get an idea of what I was feeling that day. Uncharitable to say the least.
I bought my smokes, called Casey to pick me up and sat on the curb to light up and calm down. There I was, minding my own business when I was accosted by the noxious aroma of a clove cigarette. I hate those things on principal, I consider them a prop for the terminally hip. Plus they taste like shit, I could achieve the same effect for far less money by spritzing my Marlboro with some hairspray...NASTY!
Anyway, I look behind me and there's this girl wearing something that looked like Edward Scissorhands en route to the Renaissance fair. I could have overlooked the fact that she was dressed like a moron, it wasn't the outfit per se, it was the fact (one of several),that she was in full costume and make-up at the Citgo,11am Monday morning.
She had to have been in her late 20's and had that snotty look on her face that says she's desperately trying to pull off her look but actually feels insecure as fuck. If you can't pull it off, don't wear it! It could look like absolute shit but as long as you have the savoir fair required to sport it, then it's cool. She didn't.
I was already in a pissy mood and the dirty looks she started shooting in my direction didn't help. I took a long drag off my cig, smiled at her and asked her what the fuck she was staring at. She didn't have a specific answer, just mumbled something....but I didn't really care for her tone haha. I stood up and smiled again, she was still wearing her ultra-cunt expression. Think you can be bigger cunt than moi? Haha, NOT gonna happen, I reign supreme! She rolled her eyes and that was it, I flicked my cigarette at her head and asked her again, what the fuck was she staring at?
First let me say that the outfit looked even more ridiculous as she dodged my lit cig.I never knew lame could move so fast haha. I started from the bottom, telling her exactly what I thought of her retarded Demonia buckle boots and slowly working my way up.
I gave her no opportunity to get a word in as I expounded on what I thought of lames who wore queer My Chemical Romance wristbands and more make-up than the entire cast of Hedwig and the Angry Inch......just to go fetch a Slurpee at the gas station.
I had just finished telling her that if she didn't get that bovine look off her face, I was gonna take her pretentious Dijarm ciagarette and put it out between her over made-up eyes.......then I heard Casey say, "Leave the girl alone, maybe that's just the way her face is, maybe she can't help looking like a constipated gopher"
HAHAHA, that killed it! I started laughing because the unfortunate girl did look a bit gopher-ish. Casey led me back to the truck and my pissy mood was a distant memory.
Now I'm sure y'all are thinking that I'm an insufferable asshole.....and you're probably right. I'm not one iota better than that lame-ass girl. Chances are I'm worse. I wear some retarded gear and my eyeliner bill could probably support a small third world country. I wouldn't be caught dead in a MCR wristband but that's just me. The thing that makes us different is that while I may walk around dressed like the junky makeover that wouldn't die, I have no qualms about it whatsoever.
I have an innate ability to disregard whatever doesn't suit my purpose, that includes the opinions of people who think I'm dressed like an idiot. I don't care, go suck yourself.If you don't like it, then don't fucking look at me.
Same concept as what I tell my anon haters, if they don't like it they can go get hit by a truck, not gonna ruin my day. Speaking of, I'm feeling unloved! I don't think I've had a negative comment in weeks!What the fuck people? The last whacked out e-mail I got was over a month ago and I'm starting to feel neglected.
Oh well, fuck 'em. I have my little circle of blogger buds and all you other misc.fuckers who leave me helpful comments. I loves the comments haha. Even the ones from my nemesis Josh and his unflagging sidekick Eddie. I loves my Eddie too.
So yeah, I'm as lame as anybody else, I just wear it better. I had thought to go into a diatribe attacking metal posers but I'll just summarize. I think that metal is the last refuge for aging hipsters who are trying desperately to cling to some semblance of cool. In circles where punk is considered passe the last gasp is to become a connoisseur of various types of metal music. I have no objection to metal, I listen to my fair share. What I object to is some fucktard who I knew back in the day suddenly swapping his Exploited T for a Motorhead shirt and babbling about Black Sabbath. I love Black sabbath and Motorhead..........I do NOT love morons who go on and on about Iron Man and Ace of Spades yet they look confused should someone mention Tommy Iommi or Eddie Clarke. Plus could you pick two more obvious songs? The whole thing gives me the same disgusted feeling as when I saw a pic of Miley Cyrus wearing a New York Dolls shirt. Fuck! I am a stuck-up cunt SUPREME! Haha, I don't give a FUCK! I think my opinion is justified and brilliant... and that's all that matters. Long fucking summary hehe.
I'm not really a music snob...or am I? Whatever. Just so everybody knows, the fact that I have repeatedly called myself lame only makes me that much more hardcore hahahahaha, riiiiiiight.
Anyway, my mom will be here on Monday, I am so stoked! For the first time in my adult life I can honestly say that I want my mommy. Before I was just too much of a selfish asshole to spare any thought for anyone who was not in my immediate vicinity. I'm still a selfish asshole, it's just that I'm a slightly more considerate selfish asshole.....and boy do I wear it well!
I spent loads of money on presents for everyone and I really don't care what they bring me, my birthday is on New Years and Casey is taking me to get a kitten which is so AWESOME I can barely even begin to verbalize it. A kitty...yay! I looooove kitties. I was banned (by Casey) from having kitties when the last two became strungout.........with NO help on my part.....long story.
Anyway, I'm gonna cook up a storm as soon as my family gets here, insane dishes like Beef Wellington and all that kinda shit. I'm totally excited!
I'm going to the doc tomorrow because I noticed some red splotches on my foot and I'm not gonna wait for it to get worse. They told me that since the infection had been in my blood that it might come back and that I needed to watch it because it could go septic and get into my heart and blah, blah, blah. Meaning......if I ignore it like I am prone to do, I could end up having to have some weird heart surgery or I'm going in tomorrow. Whatever, my biggest worry is that they'll ship me back to the hospital and I'll spend my family's visit there.
Not really worried about the whole septic death (haha) thing, we'll just hafta see what develops. Casey is gonna CRACK if I have to go back in. Is it fucked up that his mental well being is foremost on my mind when I'm thinking about the hospital? I feel like I should be more worried about myself...but I'm not. Hehe maybe I'm becoming a self-less asshole? Naaaaah.
So here's hoping everyone had a kick-ass holiday and if you didn't....stop sniveling, it's over til next year. I love all y'all motherfuckers and don't forget to hit up my girl k1tten on her blog and leave her a comforting comment, she just had to go under the knife for a gnarly abscess and she could use the support. Plus you get to see a gory pic of her gaping wound,post lancing. Who doesn't want to look at that shit?
Later on kiddies,XOXO, Melody Lee