Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A *few* day(s) in the life.............

So since I'm still feeling crappy I figured I would regale y'all with "The Raid" story. After all it's not like I have anything better to do than re-live my past insanity. It makes me feel..........accomplished HAHA. I can say that I have lived more unreal shit in my life than most people so that is an accomplishment of sorts.
If I wasn't such an unmotivated asshole I woulda typed all this crap out long ago and sold it to some trash mongering publishing house but...........I am a useless cunt so y'all get the privilege of reading it here for free. HAHAHAHA.......
Fuck, this is gonna take awhile.......It all went down like this:

I was living with this chick Kristen (the one who got hit by a truck) and Casey was there, NLR Brad, Frog, Kristen's mom Reverie and some other misc fuckers. Anna lived out in the converted garage as well but she was clean and stayed away from us junkies.
Casey and I had moved in a few months before when I had received a substantial amount of $$$ for marrying some Indonesian guy (long story). It wasn't our intention to start slinging again but the location was choice and as soon as all our junky brethren found out we were there it turned into a regular stop for everyone. It wasn't so bad 'cause even though we weren't yet back in business we got kicked down all day long for letting people fix in our room. I was still on methadone at the time but going to the clinic maybe 3X a week. It was so inconsistent I could still get loaded as fuck off a $20.
There came a point when we realized that we had just as much traffic as if we were selling so why the fuck not? It's not like we didn't have the experience and connects and we were already middling for alot of people who couldn't score.
It was fate when our friend/connect Ripper asked us if we would take some of the heat off his place and sell bags for him. It wasn't running our own gig but we got 10 bags for every 20 sold and we sold 'em non-stop. This worked out well until all of Rip's other way stations started getting popped and then he himself got gaffled up. His house was set up big time by the cops but I won't go into that, it would take too long.
So there we were with somewhere around 40+ people copping from us on a regular basis as well as all the ones who had been going to Rip. The shit hit the fan when the dope dried up so Brad looked up an old Prison buddy who was swimming in Tar and would cut us a sweet deal on pieces.He was bringing 'em back across the border himself so it was way below retail. We got hooked up with 28 G's for less than a thou which was pretty damn good.
That house turned into the hottest shop in Bako for a minute. It was non-stop phone ringing and we recruited Frog as a runner to keep traffic down....not that it did. I quit the clinic and concentrated on our new enterprise. We were making so much $$$ 'cause we sold mostly dimes, sometimes big chunks but mostly $10 and $20 bags.
We were able to eat out every day,stay in cigs and beer, shoot as much H as we wanted and amass an impressive collection of electronics. We traded for pills, speed(fuckin Brad!) tattoos and boxes of new outfits. Brad even came up on a car for less than 8 Gs.
It was an idyllic existence, I was still doing phone sex but I hadn't had to cash any of my checks for months, they were piling up in a drawer along with a hell of a lotta surplus cash that I put away for a rainy day.
It was mainly my thing because it had been my $$ that financed it but Brad got a cut for having the hook-up and Casey got his for being my honey and helping out with running bags and collecting cash. Frog was my paid bitch and did everything from make bags to deliveries and even hustled his ass to the store when it was required. Fuck I miss that!
Everything was cool except for the fact that we had CRAZY traffic and it had been going strong for about 8 months. We had people coming through the back alley and we sold out the window after 10pm. It was when Frog mentioned that he thought he was being followed that shit got kinda tense. I took his word for it because even though he was a paranoid motherfucker, he wasn't speed-delusional like Brad.
One day we took our lil junky family to the Green Frog Market to buy some groceries (I was feeling domestic) and Frog says, "Fuck there it is again, that truck was following me all morning!"
We looked around but didn't see anything suspicious, the only thing on the street was a Mother's cookie truck. I was starting to have serious doubts about Frog's paranoia. "Frog, there's nothing here!" I said turning in a circle,"Casey, do you see anything? Brad?"
"Nothing but a cocksucking cookie truck" replied Casey.
"That's it!" grumbled Frog "That fucking cookie truck has been on my ass all day.....I'm NOT fucking around!"
I said the first thing that came to mind, "Are you fucking retarded? This is NOT a Cheech and Chong movie!" Casey echoed the sentiment but I could see that Brad was liking the idea more and more. He had been up for a few days and it suited his mindset perfectly, why not a cookie truck? as far as Brad was concerned that made perfect sense.
We went into the store and when we came out 45 min later the truck was still there. I shushed Frog and we walked back to the house. Cookie truck, yeah right.
*A lil later that day* "Son of a bitch!" Frog came huffing into the room, "I just came back from dropping those bags at Sharky's and that God damned cookie truck is in the alley behind the house! I told you motherfuckers but you wouldn't listen......it's the fucking cops!"
"Calm the fuck down" I told him, "Show me." We went into the back yard and looked over the fence, sure enough, the Mother's cookie truck was parked about half a block down. "Christ" I mumbled, "Are you fucking kidding me? This is the most idiotic thing I have ever been a party to. Are those cops smokin' the rock or what?"
We went back inside and told everyone that we were apparently under surveillance.....by fucktard cops in a lame-ass cookie mobile!
We tried to tone down the traffic but it was next to impossible so we had to all start taking turns running bags just to keep as many fiends away from the house as we could. During that time we were stalked by a ghetto looking delivery van with a fake as hell FEDEX sign in the window, several black windowed SUVs and the infamous cookie truck. By that time in was pretty much a forgone conclusion, we were next on the hit list. Then it escalated, people started getting stopped in our area, getting hassled and threatened if they didn't rat us out. Those cops wanted some controlled buys to go with their surveillance. To top it off Brad's paranoid rantings were starting to become reality, he had been out tweekin off one night and upon investigating the broken down moving van in the lot across the street he found a camera filming the house through a hole cut in a board covering the broken windshield. My house phone was making stupid clicking noises and ringing back my last call every time I hung up.
I started wondering why it was that we were getting so much attention, I mean we were holding a pretty fat sack but it's not like we were the only game in town. We all got pre-paid cells and I only used the land line for work. Only our big custies and close friends were allowed to come to the house anymore. Brad implemented the stupid ear-spy plan. He also packed his ass with the dope whenever he went to pick up. Gross! I know it was necessary but I always made sure that he triple wrapped that shit before it went in his butt......and he got to unwrap it as well! Good thing Brad was institutionalized from way too many years in Prison and had no problem hooping the clavo. YARG!
Anyway we tightened things up as much as we could but the house was still junky paradise, we had boxes of new rigs stockpiled and a gang of 2 liter bottles full of used ones. Spoons...check! Plastic, foil and balloons.....check! Mass amounts of unexplainable cash.....double check! Not to mention all the probably stolen crap we had traded for and my pharmacopoeia of Benzo's, pain pills and antibiotics.
The night before we got hit we saw this shit on TV saying that as of that day the cops no longer needed 6 mos surveillance + 3 controlled buys to get a warrant. All they needed was probable cause. We watched in horror as the TV crew followed the Bakersfield Sheriff's dept all around Oildale while they kicked in doors and arrested tweekers left and right.
We took all our dope and put it a couple of big balloons, the pills in another, the used outfits went into a dumpster a few blocks away (Frog was unthrilled with this errand)and we scrubbed all the dope off our bathroom counter and the various plates and surfaces that we used to bag up on. The foil went into the kitchen along with the plastic bags. The unused rigs stayed put and all we kept out was our own kits. Brad tweeked off and found several forgotten bags under and around the bed and dresser.....we had gotten too comfortable and had been sloppy as fuck!
That whole night Brad kept us up while he tweeked off on the noises coming from that retarded ear-spy speaker, Frog pussed out and went to his parents for the night and it was about 5:30 am before Brad fucked off and left us alone. He was in a bad way and had started to strip his clothes off, gibbering in his Donald Duck voice. It was such a relief when he went outside to wash his car! We had Arron come by to cop before work and Mikey came by for a few bags as well. It seemed like we had no sooner shut our eyes than we heard "Bakersfield Police Department.........open the fucking door!" *Boom, boooooooom......crash*
I vaulted over Casey and off the bed, grabbing the dope/pill balloons and kits on the way, making it into our bathroom just as we heard the front door slam open. I looked at all that dope and hesitated for about 3 seconds before I threw the balloons in the toilet and flushed it! Even in that situation it killed a lil piece of me to let it go.
They had made it as far as the hallway because I could hear Kristen yelling, "It's the PIGS" while Striker (the dog) barked his ass off and Reverie screamed, "What the hell is happening?" I was washing the spoons and breaking rigs when I heard them kick in the bedroom door and yell at Casey to get on the floor. It had only taken a few seconds but it seemed like longer, the toilet was still running and as they kicked in the bathroom door I heard them yell."We have a FLUSH!"......right before they dragged me out and threw me on the floor next to Casey. They were all vested up and the trigger happy motherfuckers punctuated their commands by sliding the pumps on their (overkill!) shotguns. We got knees in our backs while they talked shit and handcuffed us before yanking us up by our arms and dragging us through the hallway. There was this weird white foam all over the walls and floor and it wasn't until they took us into the living room that I realized what it was.
Kristen and Reverie were handcuffed on the couch covered head to toe in white foam, the cops had busted in the door and come in.......with fire extinguishers blazing! HAHAHA they hosed down anyone who crossed their path and that just happened to be Kristen and her mom. Kristen was also totally naked at the time.
I felt this hysterical urge to laugh come over me and tried to stifle it as best I could but when Kristen started fucking with the cops I lost it. They had wrapped her in a sheet to cover her up but she kept wriggling to make it fall open. Let me tell you, Kristen weighed about 220 and had enormous long okie titties....not a pretty picture! She would shrug of the sheet and some disgusted cop would cover her back up. She did it over and over until the task leader came in and threatened to hog-tie her if she didn't stop offending his eyes with her nakedness! At this point I was full out laughing, not giving a fuck anymore, Casey was too. Naked Kristen taunting the cops with " Hey look at this PIG" and "oink oink" was just too damn much. Especially since her and her mom were still covered in chem foam, they looked so ridiculous!
The cops were way uptight and not amused by the fact that their intimidation tactics were failing. After all, the Dope was gone down the pipes and all they had on us was some very clean spoons, broken outfits and boxes of unused rigs. They tried the whole spiel about having us on tape and phone and charging us with felony conspiracy to commit sales but it was an empty threat. They took each of us outside and tried to scare us into giving up the connect(who just happened to cruise by while this was going on)but that didn't work either. As a last ditch effort at catching me with something they called in a female sheriff and I had the pleasure of being finger banged by a dyke with a full on mullet and gropey hands! They actually fucked up when they did that because there was no witness in the room and they are not supposed to penetrate you unless they see something in your snatch.....which she did not. The infamous stinky bank..... their code name for dope in pussy, fucking hilarious!
They trashed the house, dumping food, cosmetics, anything and everything all over the floors. They poured out all the soap and shampoos in the shower on top of our clothes and slashed the mattresses and furniture. They even pulled up the toilet in the bathroom in hopes that they would find the dope,the same thing they did at Rips house. Bastards!
We saw them take Brad to the swat van.....gibbering in nothing but his boxers and one shoe......typical. By this point I was irritated and needed a shot and was anxious to have this whole thing come to it's conclusion, either I was going to jail or not. Decide please! They ended up talking alot of shit, telling us about all their evidence and that someone close to us had ratted us out. They made the comment about 24 hr drive thru service and harassed me about my phone sex log....idiots thought it was a record of H sales. They took all the electronic stuff as evidence and said we were fucked for receiving stolen property. They wanted to take the $$$ as well but couldn't because I had my checks to backup the fact that I had legit income. It was all a joke, they actually had the chance to bust us right in their hands but were too cocky and stupid to realize it.
Frog had left 2 lil foil squares in a pill bottle on the dresser and when they had cuffed us and pulled us to our feet I saw a cop grab it and hold it up to the light. Me and Casey could see those 2 dimes in there, I have no idea why he didn't. They were against the side where the label was and I guess he didn't look too closely......retard! In the end all they did was hand out a bunch of citations for paraphernalia and bitch alot. They threatened us with everything under the sun and even told me that they were biding there time til they could catch me for sales. They wanted me in Prison and a piddling paraphernalia charge was not gonna get me there. You would think I was Pablo freaking Escobar the way they carried on......LAME!
They finally left us to the colossal mess in the house. About 25 min after they pulled away the fiends started calling and trickling in the door. We found out that Mikey had been cuffed naked in their swat van the whole time we were getting raided. They had pulled up next to him while he was happily riding his skateboard back home and snatched him right off it and into the van. He swallowed his bags but they strip searched him anyway. Poor Mikey! We laughed our asses off picturing his skateboard flying through the air as he got dragged into the still moving van.
It took us all day and quite a bit of help(paid of course) to get shit back in order but we were up and running by the next morning.....we were so smart! It took some very slick talk on our part to convince the connect to play with us again, he didn't like the fact that nobody went to jail and I can't say that I blame him. Even Brad walked because they had nothing on him.
We were back in business for another 3-4 months before they hit again and we had a mixed task-force of Sherifs and BPD/ K-net on our asses from that point on but that's another long-ass story and I think this one is prolly enough for now. I told y'all it was gonna take awhile.........
So goodbye for now, hope it was as much of a kick for you to read as it was for me to remember it. I think as far as raids go that one was pretty interesting. Laters Loves, Melody