Fat Mike sitting on my lap. He is getting soooo BIG!
Well well, here I am again. Two days in a row, perhaps I will actually keep my word and start posting more often....hope springs eternal.
It's disgustingly sunny outside and the general consensus is that there will be no more snow, I hate the fucking snow! I also happen to hate the sun which only cements my status as a contrary cunt. The only time I am oblivious to weather extremes is when I'm loaded. I can stroll 20 miles in an unbearable Bakersfield heat wave (sometimes up to 110 degrees) and smile all the while. Of course I could do it sick as well and in less time but I sure as fuck wouldn't be smiling.
My summer trip should be interesting, I will be making my return to Bako during the most miserable portion of June/July when the humidity is so bad you could live in a cold shower and still sweat. Oh well, at this point I may be coming home to a lynch mob haha, in a fit of pique I wrote some rather unflattering words about some of my ex-acquaintances and posted it on myspace (like the attention slut I am) for all the world to enjoy. Though I never actually named names, I outlined certain infamous happenings which are common knowledge in Bako. As is usually the case, it got bounced all over cyberspace and apparently pissed off half the town....hahahahaha.
Thanx to some pointed blog comments from Anna, a certain someone got it into her head that a portion of the post was about her. I know for a fact that all of the scenarios detailed in my little rag-fest can be readily applied to any number of the people back home, myself included but this girl really took offense.
In my mind I feel that she must have some kind of complex involving dumpsters in order to get that pissed off about something she claims never happened. She reacted by writing a 10,000 word dissertation giving all sorts of explanations that really had nothing to do with much of anything at all....heheh maybe we have something in commom after all. She also ripped Anna a new asshole (in print) which we all think is hilarious considering I was the one who wrote it. For the record, the dumpster comment was not intended for D. but since she happens to be Anna's sister in law, she chose to interpret it that way thus setting off a shit storm of idiotic proportions.I suppose the fact that Anna's comment specified "ate-up ho-bag sister in law" didn't help matters haha.
The bar set is now up in arms over the whole thing and I almost hate to burst their bubble. Never one to turn from conflict I may just let the whole thing ride, that way I have no chance of getting bored while I'm in town. It was an incredibly immature thing to write in the first place but I happen to be a genius when it comes to juvenile antics. I was being pissy due to some messages I had gotten from old "friends" who felt the need to inform me that I and a few others were the topic of some lame myspace-type drama/shit talk.
It is safe to assume that I had been awake a tad bit too long when I went off but I won't make excuses because I happen to think that the things I wrote are absolutely brilliant and amusing. I even told them to grow up hahaha, is that a laugh or what? ME telling someone else to grow up.....
I will re-post it here and see what y'all think, it is me at my coming down, bitchy, immature best and I am beyond pleased with it. It is my ode to the type of lame slander mongering that set me off in the first place and I think I'm a bit in love with it right now.
Subcutaneous homesick blues
Current mood: fascinated
I really miss home. I can't wait to go back and see all the misc. fuckers that are still running amok. Being somewhat sober for the first time in a long time I even want to see the people I lost touch with. All you non-junky motherfuckers know who you are. Excited aren't ya?
Then we have the ones who know exactly who I am, may have been my friends at one time but have decided they are way better than I. Haha I suppose the fact that I saw some of these so called good people with their hands out for dope and/or sucking cock for rock is irrelevant. That's cool. Fuck y'all anyhow, at least I have the balls to be honest about the crap I did/do.
Why do people have to lie about that shit? If you were best known for getting plowed behind a dumpster you should give up on the thought that anyone has forgotten about it and make it work for you. Believe me, NO ONE has forgotten a damn thing!
If your best party trick was vomiting all over some guys cock whilst giving a drunken blowjob, turn it into a regular performance. It would show more character. Everyone already knows you're a big ol' cocksucker anyway, why fight it?
And if you once shat all over yourself (repeatedly) and are hoping that the talk has died down.....it has. It will however NEVER die out completely. It'll make a comeback every few years or so, like now for instance. I'd say it's definitely on an upswing riiiiiiiight......NOW!
Oooh my faaaaavorite hipster! The last time I saw you, you were wired out of your ever lovin mind, your head buried in a dumpster as you scavenged for "trade-able" resources. How's the bar scene now? Good? Maybe we can go score some crack when I'm back in town? My treat! Don't worry I'll keep it DL, wouldn't want anybody to find out would we?
Now aside from the fact that I ADORE dredging up old bullshit, I could care less about what you did or who you think you've become. If you've cleaned your ass up and moved on, good for you. What I have an issue with is the fact that these exalted trendsters can lower themselves enough to to soil their sparkly-clean tongues.......and talk mass amounts of shit. About moi? How DARE you???
It's not like I went about the business of being a strungout, smack dealing hooker in plain sight! Did I EVER stumble around the room high off my ass and then nod out at a table for an undetermined amount of time...possibly drooling? Would I have dreamed of coming to your workplace to supply you with heroin?
What? I DID???? NO SHIT ASSHOLES!
That's my point. If I tried to pretend all that shit never happened it would be lame as fuck because no one ever forgets. Blog about that. Bitches!
Yeah, yeah I'm a loser, a junky, a mess whatever. I'm an honest mess which will trump a duplicitous jackass every time.
If you happen to fall into the category of someone who hasn't actually spoken to me in over a decade and you still persist in composing messages/blogs etc about myself and few select others....grow the fuck up! Who do you think you are anyway? It's just Bakersfield for God sake, y'all act like it's high society and you happen to be the pinnacle of perfection.
Big fish but y'all are cruising around in a mud puddle. Yeah I miss it. I miss it like crazy but I always knew it was a mud puddle. I never deluded myself into thinking it was something it wasn't. I was content to navigate the muck.
Which is kinda funny if you think about it, all you self inflated big fish swimming around in the sludge but guess where I'll be? I think you know that scum/shit always floats to the surface. That's me. But ironically enough it puts me above you. Go figure.
There are people aplenty who have remained cool as hell and I can't wait to see them. You know who you are. If you're on my friendlist this long ass bitchfest has nothing to do with you. I don't make nice with jerk-offs...unless they have something good to offer or they're paying me heheh. I'm thinking these particular jerk-offs have nothing to offer but the pleasure of their company. I surmise that their company ain't gonna be all that pleasurable so fuck that noise.
Achtung jerk-offs! Y'all can go get bent........over the toilet at toilet at Jerry's, like someone we all know. Then again who among us hasn't been.
So excited to be making the visit! See you soon. XOXO
So yeah, that's it, I hope y'all enjoyed it. I'll let this one marinate awhile and then I'll be back to post more nonsense. Loves to ya babies, Melody & Fat Mike