Tuesday, February 10, 2009

An effective if short-lived method of shutting me up.

So first off I'm gonna start by thanking Rufus for the badass clip he made for me. I think I'm in love, seriously I could see myself turning into a furry at any moment. I'm such an Internet whore that I would probably paste that vid all over the place if I didn't also happen to be computer retarded.
I made the mistake of watching it while Fat Mike was perched on my shoulder (as usual) and now he thinks he's famous. He's been tearing around the house like a cat possessed and when I say anything about it he looks at me like, "Bitch who do you think you're talking to? The Rufus Leaking has spoken my name on camera!" There will be no living with him now.
Thank you Rufus I adore it! Casey was suitably impressed when I showed it off to him, I believe his exact words were, "Haha Rufus is giving you crap over the cat's.....HOLY SHIT is that Fat Mike?" Sorry I didn't take your name into consideration but I believe there can only be one Rufus Leaking. Often imitated never duplicated.
Moving on, I know most people wouldn't dignify shitty comments with a response but I'm sure you've realized that I am NOT most people. Since I just recently indulged in tearing anon(s) a new asshole, this will be short.
If a decade of needle use/questionable behavior didn't see me dying of HIV I seriously doubt wishing it on me via the Internet is going to be effective. Nice try though. Why don't you come over here and give it to me yourself since you seem to think it's such an awesome idea? It seems to me that my dying of disease wouldn't be ending my misery, it would be ending yours and why the hell would I want to do that? I much prefer hanging out so that I can stumble on new and interesting ways of pissing people off. I get shit from all sides and I think it's fucking fantastic. I almost wish I was a strung out/satanic Neo Nazi pro-lifer so that I could be really offensive. Oh the shit I could write!
Anyway, I think the best part is that I'm not even trying to offend people, I'm just being me. It's much more delicious that way, when you have to work at being obnoxious it becomes ineffective and lame. Lucky for me I seem to irritate people by doing nothing more than breathing, I'm just awesome like that I guess. I don't even hafta try!
Enough of that bullsheeeiiitt.
We're still planning on doing the summer trip, I have high (heheh) hopes and I will do everything in my power to see that it happens. Ordinarily that wouldn't be saying much because I am unbelievably lazy but since this trip is going to be an orgy of drug debauchery, that makes it a horse of a different color. I always find myself going above and beyond when it involves something I should most definitely NOT be doing. Contrary bitch ain't I?
It's going to be somewhat of a pain in the ass because of the photos/filming etc. Since we plan on slapping the whole thing together into some kind of book it's going to involve image releases and all kinds of bullshit legal crap. The fact that most druggies won't want their faces or actions captured on camera has not escaped me. Not everyone is as adventurous as I. I don't really sweat all that shit because I'm not actively selling dope/hustling and images of drug use are extremely hard to prove in court....unless they were taken by law enforcement. Which they won't be.
So if anyone happens to see us in one state or another you won't hafta worry about the photo crap. Unless you sign on the line and specifically want your face/words displayed, it ain't gonna happen. You can trust me........haha. No seriously though, you can.
I'm thinking that 90% of the footage/pics will be of us doing horribly reckless shit and nothing more. I do promise to make sure that it doesn't turn out like that crap movie The Brown Bunny. Christ what a hunk of shit that was! To anyone who hasn't seen it "IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" Getting a 10 minute scene of Chloe Sevigny sucking dick is not worth suffering through 110 minutes of Vincent Gallo driving......and driving...and driving. Ugh! Watch Freeway 1& 2 instead, you can thank me later.
Now before I get off the movie topic I just want to say that 'Requiem for a dream' has got to be the most nightmarish depiction of heroin use to date! It was heroin right? I a get a lil confused seeing as how every time they do a shot their pupils blow out like they've been licking African tree toads.
Don't get me wrong, I think it's a great movie but WHAT THE FUCK??? I have spent quite a while in the thick of junky shenanigans and I can honestly say I never had the entire state go dry followed by prison,amputation and a 2ft double dong. I'm sure that that shit happens all the time but to the same three people in that time span?
And what's with the ass to ass? I like gratuitous double sodomy as much as the next person but that was like a maggoty cherry on top of a poop sundae.
And speaking of sodomy (we were weren't we?) Regina and I were maligning our friend Becca and her desire to go see The New Kids on the Block in concert. *shudder* After a lengthy discussion on the subject I decided that I would prefer to be ass raped by every last New Kid AND that vomitous Marky Mark rather than sit through one of their concerts. I realize this may seem somewhat extreme but you don't know how much I dislike the New Kids an co. Aside from a few decent performances Mark Wahlberg should have kept his day job dropping trou for Calvin Klein and left acting to guys who can dredge up some kind of believable emotion...like Steven Segal, his sensitive yet tough portrayals leave ol' Marky Mark in the dust...and that ain't saying much since S.S. has the depth of a mashed pea. Funky Bunch indeed!
'The Departed' kicked ass though, Marky nailed it on that one.
Am I in top asshole form today or what? I've bitched about various subjects and not one of them has much bearing on the other. I guess I just got caught up and couldn't stop myself. I'm sure I managed to offend somebody along the way. Right the fuck on!
So that's it for today, I've already heard from Adrian and shit is all set for next week. I'm sure I'll be back before then if only to field comments but if not I'll let y'all know how it went. Kisses bitches XXXXX Melody