Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Blood Stains, Speed Kills and Oh Yes Indeed I WILL!

OK so I've been a little preoccupied what with getting loaded and my new project and I haven't been doing a damn thing to update on here. Chances are that anyone who was reading me has ambled off to greener pastures and that's fine....because I know that all y'all motherfuckers that have turned your face from me will be back eventually, I'm just that irresistible!
I have been on the Methamphetamine for a bit too long and have discovered that Suboxone has done NOTHING to discourage it from coursing through my system like a deranged freight train. I have repeatedly cursed Rainman and his future inbred, three-eyed offspring but it's really not his fault, it just makes me feel better to take it out on someone besides myself.
I can't help but wish that whatever ingredient he's added in order to, pardon the pun, tweak his recipe would suddenly become unavailable....not that I'm saying he has a recipe. If my opinion were to become public knowledge(at least locally),the unwashed tweeker masses would likely hunt me down, douse me in ether and light a match. So y'all keep your big mouths shut!
I have been unable to sleep for more days that I care to think about, even going so far as to become one of those *shudder* productive tweekers that irritate the shit outta me. I cleaned, I washed, I vacuumed and folded! I bathed Fat Mike,(to his extreme displeasure) and scoured the backyard for bird and lizard carcasses. Today alone I scrubbed the guest room from top to bottom (I had to rid it of any lingering sister cooties) and threw out any linens that may or may not have been tainted by the touch of foul,(and abundant)sister flesh!
I'm in rare mood and though I have more than enough energy, I'm going to refrain from detailing the events that took place the night I made the brilliant decision to join R-man on his quest to Cuba. Maybe next post.
Maybe not, I might have an even better tale to tell. Rainman rang me about an hour ago saying he needed me to come with him to collect some money from a "recalcitrant" customer. I was going to tell him to go get fucked, it was seriously right on the tip of my tongue....until he mentioned the name of the dastardly debtor. That's right...it's Gabby,the spun retarded, dog-faced cunt who tried to take a chunk out of my arm with her teeth, if you could call them teeth. Generally teeth implies that you have more than a smattering of decaying stumps left in your head. That bitch looks like she's been eating rocks! As in gravel, not crack but I suppose both would have the same effect.
After our last altercation, during which she chipped one of her few remaining teeth on my ring, she hasn't been to eager to see me at all. As I said at the time, it's not my fault the bitch didn't take my friendly warnings to heart and shut her big fucking mouth! It's not my fault that she was too stupid to realize I was serious about shutting it for her and it's definitely not my fault that she chipped her tooth whilst repeatedly slamming her face into my fist. Nope, not my fault at all.
I've been spoiling for a fight ever since I missed my chance to throttle Casey's cunt sister. I am in such a pleasant mood right now that I think paying a visit to Countess Tore-back-ula sounds like a capital idea. I am also rather in love with the fact that I can now call myself an enforcer hahaha. I'm such a hardass.
So I will be heading out my front door in 45 minutes, I will wave a one fingered salute to the cocksucking cops that live on the corner and I will climb into the hated disco-mobile. I will inhale some cryssy from the pipe that'll be thrust under my nose the moment I shut the door and I will count the seconds till we arrive on Gabby's rickety doorstep. If she's lucky, she'll have the money and I will be on my way, if I'm lucky...she won't.
If I'm not back in 48 hours, y'all should start taking up a collection for my bail and contact K1tten who will in turn contact my bail bondsman. Haha yeah, I'll hold my breath.
Love you kids, see ya when I see ya,XOXO
~Melody Lee