So I have been a phone hooker off and on for years. I always fell back on it cause it was a pretty easy job to do even loaded out of my mind. And even better, if I was dope sick I could fuck off and not answer till I felt like it (copped and fixed).
This is somewhat different from being an actual prostitute, as anyone who has ever had to suck a dick while dope sick can testify.
Tip: tricks hate getting puked on and may become violent.
Anyway, as much as I loved being able to lay around getting high all day, it just didn't offer the same job satisfaction as ho-ing. Mainly the instant (or almost instant) gratification.
There is nothing like starting the day with nothing but a shitty wake-up and ending it a few hours later with drugs and cash in hand. Talk about positive re-enforcement. To a junky, knowing that you can make enough money in one day to stay fucked up for two is irresistible. I know, everyone always asks the same thing, "What about self-respect? Don't you have any?"
Check it out, I got it by the truck load, I just don't see what I did as anything to be ashamed of. I took care of myself . I didn't have to rely on anyone but me. My family didn't have to shoulder the burden of my addiction. I made enough to look after me and some of my friends if they were hurtin'.
If fucking for money was not the greatest experience that's what auto-pilot is for ( anyone who ever worked the streets knows what I mean by auto-pilot). I was self sufficient and didn't rip people off to get that way. That is alot more than I can say for most of the other Dope fiends I know.
I'm proud of the fact that I can say I was able to maintain and help out the people that matter to me and although I may have some regrets, maybe wish some things had turned out differently, I am not ashamed of anything I have ever done.
That said I am no longer a street ho. If anyone has read my previous posts then you know it's not from some misguided sense of rightness that I quit but rather a change of location and the fact that my boyfriend C. is one UPTIGHT! motherfucker. He can't even see a hooker in a movie without getting a shitty look on his face. You can definitely say that he has issues with my past profession. He was a smack head too but I never turned tricks while we were together (only after he left :). Anyway he has a huge attitude about the whole thing.
I always defend myself by saying that at least when I was fucking around it was for money not fun as opposed to when he was fucking around it was just to get his dick wet. Sufficed to say he is not impressed by my reasoning. This is all really a moot point seeing as how I am no longer strung out and don't plan to return to Cali anytime soon (unfortunately). There really is no chance of me going back to ho-ing (not really anyway). I love C., the asshole and want to keep things good between us and if that means staying in this shit town and being sober so be it.
However I do think it is rather funny that C. seems to have no problem with me going back to phone-bone. I mean come on that's cutting it a little thin isn't it? I still talk to strangers about performing sexual acts and I still get paid for it. I guess it's all in the way you look at it. To me it's all part of the same trade, the "SEX" trade.
But I suppose if being able to call me a telecommunications specialist instead of a whore makes him happy, who am I to criticize. Street ho, phone ho, telecoms specialist I can see the natural progression. As I always said. "It's a fine line but if I can see it that's all that matters."
I told my friend Patty that now I suck dick over the phone instead of in person. Being a former ho herself, she thought this was hilarious. M.