Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Nazis in Nurses' Uniforms!

I don't want you to laugh but I am afraid of needles. I always have been. While I have no problem poking and jabbing myself repeatedly, let someone else try it and I'm outta there. Case in point, I could not begin to count the number of times that I have been asked to hit people but I can count on one hand the number of times I've let someone hit me. Pretty retarded for an IV user I know and it only gets better. I have been shooting up since I was 16 and I had shitty veins to begin with. It took me about a year to tap out my arms, then a little later my hands went. Then I moved to my tits, shoulders, legs, feet etc. until I had to start muscling my shots. Hello abscess city. Anyway, by medical standards it is a miracle that my hands and feet haven't dropped off from lack of circulation.
So needless to say it it just about impossible to get any kind of blood work done when I go to the doctor. It would probably help if the needle wielding Nazi they call a Phlebotomist would shut her yap and listen to me for a minute. I don't think there is anybody on this earth who knows my body better that I do, especially when it comes to finding veins. But No! The bitch just rolls her eyes and ignores me, doing her best to win the cunt of the year award.
Check it out, I'm a junkie not a moron. Alot of people may not be aware of the fact that, !BEING A DRUG ADDICT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE A MORON! It means you're human, and prone to questionable decisions, not retardation.

Attention Cunt Nurses!

When I tell you that there is not a snowball's chance in hell that you are going to get blood from my arms, believe it. Do not, I repeat do not nod at me and go about your business, skewering my arms anyway and then looking disgusted when nothing happens. I fucking told you so!
Then they have nerve to get mad. I had one nurse tell me that it was only right that I suffer since it was my own fault that had no veins left. My mom had to jump to keep my hands from wrapping around the bitch's throat.
So, all this blah blah blah is leading up to the fact that I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. To get blood drawn. I am not ecstatic.
After the last time, when Nurse-zilla threw up her hands in defeat, I was told that my only option was an art-stick. Most long term needle freaks know what this is. If you are not one of the chosen ones let me enlighten you.
An art stick is what they do when they have no other options. It means going to the hospital because it is too dangerous to do in the office. It means letting a doctor take a long-ass spike and insert it into one of your main arteries! Aside from the fact that it hurts like a motherfucker, it is scary as hell.
It may surprise you to know, but bleeding to death under the skin is not on my 'Top ten favorite ways to die' list. It ranks up there with burning to death in a flaming wreck and being drawn and quartered. No thanks.
Fucking up an art-stick is the equivalent to slicing someones jugular, it bleeds out so quick there's not much you can do about it, it's just over. I will be God damned if I am letting Dr. Diazepam anywhere near my femoral artery! Not gonna happen. I just hope that the 51/50 patients rights waiver has expired. Wish me luck. Melody