Monday, January 10, 2011

When Action becomes a Necessary Evil.

Sometime in September…

I was having a somewhat quiet night in, doing my best to ignore the stream of texts that were being sent my way by a gleeful Maniac and an agitated Adrian. It would seem that things had not been going smoothly over at Rainman’s house that night.
Against all advice, Ade still had that lame ass girl trailing behind him like one of those cartoon stink clouds and had taken her with him to while away the time with the homies and some of R-man’s latest. It soon became apparent that little miss cheerleader wasn’t up to the task…she lost her fucking mind!
She had become increasingly paranoid as the night wore on and according to Maniac she was, “Making that naaasty ass noise in the back of her throat that sounds like she’s gargling mocos!” *boogers
My God I almost peed when he passed along that info, he does have the damndest way with words doesn’t he? That had been the last time I answered the phone and now I just had a buttload of texts coming at me.
I finally took a look and saw:

“Crazy bitch headed ur way” (Maniac)
“Can u please just kill her so she will never come here again” (Rainman)
“Pick up” “She’s lost it. Is on her way to your house. need to talk to you” “Fuck, I’m sorry. Will ask about a ride & try to get there first” (Adrian)
“HAHAHAHAHAHA, We’re getting in the car, ain’t missing this shit, no way!” (Maniac)
“Staying home please, thank u.” (Rainman)

(I’m as lazy about deleting texts as I am about everything else)

I was already exhausted just from reading that shit, I really didn’t want to deal with it in person. I wasn’t in the mood to scrap with some tweek retarded, Mall Betty Barbie that couldn’t handle her shit. I had already done all I could to discourage Adrian from rubbing our acquaintance under her perky nose, what more could I do? The right thing never comes all that naturally to me, so the fact that I was trying counts for a lot! I could’ve just sat back, laughed and watched her fall apart because she couldn’t do anything about it.
I’d like to say I’m not that mean but really I am or I can be…I have been in the past, ask me about Lauren sometime, heheh. It's usually only when it was someone I cared for (see: wanted really bad at the time) or possibly just to piss off some bitch I couldn’t stand the sight of. What can I say? I wasn’t lying all those time I said I was a cunt.
Anyway, point is I tried but if that ridiculous twat was gonna come pounding on my door I was through trying. I so wasn’t in the mood to smack her straight but if it came to that well, I do what I have to.
It wasn’t too cold that night so I’d been laying around in a wife beater and jeans, barefoot with my hair in Pocahontas braids. I looked adorable, if you didn’t get that already. I wasn’t really dressed for a catfight but hey, bitches scrap in Jell-O wearing nothing at all, so I suppose I was actually ahead of the game.
Casey was asleep, having to work the next day and had no idea that something stupid this way comes. It was all mine to deal with and I guess that’s only right since it was my dumb ass that set the whole mess in motion months before. Seriously, what the fuck is my damage? My mom has been trying to answer that question for years, haha.
So I was expecting a knock or possibly screaming (perhaps a bitchy cheer along the lines of U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi?), something to let me know she was here and needed to be dealt with. Instead I heard screeching brakes, slamming car doors, multiple raised voices and then…SMASH!
It was a muffled yet glassy sort of smash, the kind of smash a car window makes when you throw A BIG HONKIN ROCK THOUGH IT!!! That gakked cow took a mini boulder from the neighbor’s lame rock garden and put it through the rear window of my car.
I haven’t moved so fast in years. I was out the door, hands reaching for her throat in seconds flat. I took no notice of the fact that I was stomping barefoot through auto glass, instead I concentrated on putting my knee in Adrian’s balls so I could get past him ( he made the mistake of trying to stop me) and throttle his girlfriend.
Bitch’s eyes were so big she looked like a spun weasel, I guess my mellow attitude in the past had lulled her into thinking there would be no consequences if she fucked with me. Bitch was mistaken.
Maniac was doing nothing to keep me from her (if he had been any giddier he would’ve been hopping up and down clapping his hands) and Ade was on the ground relearning how to breathe. She ran down the driveway towards her car and I was right behind her. She was halfway in when I grabbed a handful of her bouncy blonde hair and jerked her back out. When she spun halfway around she caught me in the mouth with her usual. I don't know if it's a sign from God (telling me to shut the fuck up) or my serious case of DSL but anytime a tussle ensues I get it right in the fucking pie hole! Yeah, hilarious ain't it? Fuckers!
She lurched forward trying to pull away and I used the momentum against her, introducing her head to the open doorframe until she stopped struggling. Don’t worry, she wasn’t unconscious, just a bit stunned, haha. I jerked her flailing arm up behind her back and using her hair as a handle, I steered her back towards my driveway. I turned her head this way and that so she could see the full scope of damage she had done. I then shoved her face down towards the mess of glass on the pavement, telling her to take a good look.
She may have been under the impression that I was gonna rub her face in the broken glass because she started throwing her free arm back in my direction. I twisted my fist in her hair, wrenched her arm up and said, “Bitch, I will end you.” That settled her right down, well she had started to hyperventilate but she wasn’t fighting anymore so, yeah she settled down.
Maniac is sure that it was her idiotic inability to handle R-man’s product that brought it on and I’m happy to go with that, making girls gasp for breath isn’t that important to me unless it’s with my knee in their neck haha.
So while I had her in my grasp, I instructed Adrian to get into her purse and remove whatever cash she had. It wasn’t much so I sent him to the ATM with her card so he could bring me back the $350 I’d estimated it was gonna cost to fix my window.
By the time he got back she was sitting in her car. She’d gone kinda catatonic on me, so I’d buckled her into the passenger side and gone back to the front yard.
My feet had finally started to throb and I was sitting in the disco mobile’s headlights picking glass out of my soles. It was a gross bloody mess and it didn’t feel good at all. Maniac had fetched the water hose and was trying to rinse them off so we could see where the bleeding was the worst.
Somehow I had managed to keep the damage to a minimum, car glass isn’t made to cut too badly…unless you happen to grind and stamp your way through it, which I did. I had just a few pieces in the ball of my left foot and some little ones buried in the area under the toes of my right one. It was…unpleasant. Some of them are still embedded and will likely never come out. The price you pay huh?
I made Adrian take her home, Maniac stayed to man the tweezers. I drank the rest of Casey’s whiskey and took some Percs but it still hurt like shit. Next time I will be sure to wear shoes.
I heard tell that she squawked about pressing charges but the meth in her system kept her from following through. She should know better than to try, we had our little disagreement 200 feet away from 3 different police residences, what the fuck does she think they’re gonna do about it? If they can’t be bothered to come outside and intervene (and it was LOUD), why would they care the next day? I suppose they might but the law here has a terrible fear of extraneous paperwork.
Not what I’m used to but I ain’t complaining! Besides, she would have to charge Adrian as well and that’s not gonna happen, she’s in loooooove, moron! She needs to open those china doll eyes a little wider, maybe then she’ll see how badly she’s getting worked over.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore Adrian, especially when he’s doing wrong but he’s a dick! How does she not get that? He has used her in so many ways and does nothing to hide it, not even a little. His excuse is that he told her up front how and what he was…that sounds oddly familiar.
Does that make it her own fault for getting fucked sideways by that cute little monster? I've always said it did when I used that excuse for myself, now I’m not so sure. Lets just say it makes the blame a bit harder to place and leave it at that.

~Melody Lee