Saturday, January 2, 2010

For your enjoyment, last year's bitching 3 days late.

On closer inspection of my pic^^ I am beginning to think that I should stop wearing clothing 3 sizes too large and stick to something more fitted that doesn't make it look as tho I have 30 fat rolls! Moving on, I'm watching some movie right now called Mondo Hollywood, aside from the somewhat nostalgic feel of it, the main thing that attracted me were the dismal comments left by previous viewers. Something to the effect of "what a waste of skin those hippies were" and "this movie is a flaming pile of crap" so after being subjected to such eloquence, I ask you how was I supposed to keep from watching? It's not so bad, although the 60's aren't really my thing. I think the best thing about the 60's was the music, the killer garage sound that came in waves from all over the's quite simply amazing. I still get caught up in The Sonics and Richard and the Young Lions, The Beau Brummels, all that stuff is insane, simple and raw, practically perfect in every way. If you sat me down and forced me to listen to some of that summer of love folk shit, I might possibly gnaw through my wrists in an attempt to make it stop but not if we were listening to The Pretty Things or the Zachary Thacks. So I'll stop before this turns into my own private NME and turn my attention to other matters. My Little Red Book tho, seriously amazing and don't get me started on Talk Talk (curently on default)
So now I wanna direct attention to my previous post...omg hahahahaha, bonus points to you anon, seriously! After all my whining about this and that, you managed to goad me into just the kind of reaction that I try to avoid, generally because it just enforces your point and weakens mine. Not to say that I didn't make some very valid statements, oh indeed I did, not the least of which being that my choices are just that...MINE! Also forgetting during my Lyrica induced rant (not passing the buck haha, just sayin') that it doesn't matter how far I go to try and make someone understand, if they refuse to get it, there's no point in wasting time on 'em. I can't force my ideas on you any more than you can push yours on me but fuck if it wasn't fun trying.
Now all those things aside, I think my biggest issue with my last post wasn't the fact that I sound like a huge buttplug, I have no problem with that at all. My problem is that I was so immersed in making my point that I totally spaced my complete and utter dislike for the word braggadocios! I think anyone who actually uses that word in a sentence is a total anus, in person or print! Either way it's not a good look, who the fuck talks like that anyway? That word is at the top of my "did you seriously just say/do that?" list, right after bromance, asap (as in A-sap, spelling it is fine), copacetic (no everything is not!) and kabooby (not really a word, more of a flying camel but it weirds me out just the same). Further down the list are women who have decided that being called an actress is somehow demeaning and that they are now ac-tors (bah!) People who own hypo-allergenic pets and guys who when asked what they miss most since they've been locked up say their flat iron! I think that last one sums up everything that is wrong with the world. I may hafta write a scathing satire entitled "A Felon and his Flat iron" to further illustrate my Point! Am I the only one who thinks that is beyond ridiculous? I won't mention names but seriously Aaron (haha, I lied) what am I s'posed to think when you say things like that?
Since I'm on the topic of things I hate, let me throw in people who carry canes as some kind of uber-cool affectation(uber is also on my list of lame ass words( right next to epic) but whatever). Regina can sympathize with me on this one as she personally became the victim of a cane toting gothapotamus in SF. We were walking down Haight, minding our business when I saw Regi make way for an apparently crippled (ginormous) person of indeterminate sex. If pressed I would say it was a woman but there was no time for closer inspection, as at that moment Regi was catapulted halfway into the middle of the street, the victim of an unsolicited ass-attack. It was administered by the largest black-velvet clad posterior I have ever laid eyes on, after which, said gothapotamus flipped the prop cane into it's massive shoulder and skipped away on straining cankles. So although my description is somewhat amusing, my point is this, unless you are Malcolm McDowell circa 1971 and look super hot in white droog wear, don't do it! Put the cane down, you look like a douche!
Oh and please put down your ridiculously large pipe while you're at it! A pipe? Really? Would you like some snuff to go with that President Lincoln? Schmuck! Is there anything that looks more asinine than some idiot driving down the street, a tobacco pipe the size of a small boot clamped between his teeth? Not likely but gimmie a minute and I'm sure I'll think of something!
Next goes people giving their kids stupid fucking names! Zuma Nesta Rock? Speck Wildhorse? Those might get by because having a rock star for a parent buys you alot of slack (tho it really shouldn't) but when some dipshit in Jerkspittle, Arkansas names their kid Puma Alize somethings is seriously fucked up! I'm high more often than not and I can tell you naming your kid after a running shoe and a $4.00 wine isn't a good idea. Pretentious/oblivious names are almost as bad, let me just say that unless your spawn is going to have a Dr. before his name and an S. Thompson after it, you should not be calling him Hunter. Period! Or Farmer or Shepherd, those are occupations, not names. If you have one of these in your family, my condolences, perhaps your relatives are stupid and didn't know any better?
This isn't the 1930's, we aren't fleeing the dust bowl, goddamn it DO NOT name your son Abner! Is it just me? Some moron shows me their progeny and proudly pronounces it "Summer Dawn"(sounds like a brand of douche!) "Space Radio" or "Kermitt" WHAT THE SHIT??? And they think it's soooo fucking unique! What'll be really unique is when he of the stupid name grows up to be the next Ottis Toole. Perhaps if Ottis had been named John (and hadn't had the IQ of a mashed pea) he mightn't have ended up such a fucktard! First name Ottis, last name Toole, that's the kind of situation where nobody wins, even if he was too moronic to realize he had been branded a corn pone dildo from birth, it's still not right and inbred or not, his family shoulda known better!
OK, now I have no idea how I got here but fuck if it wasn't hella fun to bitch about random, basically meaningless shit! I am restored!
So, getting more tattoos for my birthday from my angel love Casey, I'll probly throw up some pics in a couple weeks, whenever it's done. Most likely finish the stars and get the stitches on my wrist, and that shit is gonna feel soooo good! It's gonna cut right across my tendons and over that bone on the outside of the top of my wrist, yummy! Nothing feels quite like jamming a needle into your tendons. Can't wait!
So that's it for now, hope everyone had an amazing holiday and when I come back I will officially be another year older, yay. Happy New Year fuckers.
Kisses, Melody
P.S. Casey's boss told him that I am a soul sucking witch(that's a new one)and that I was draining him of his spirituality. Pffft! When he (the boss) called later that day, I told him he was a bit confused for I am actually a cock-sucking BITCH and tho that might be draining something, I sincerely doubt it's his (Casey's) spirituality! That shut him up proper, meddling Jehovah's Witness busybody! Fuck those people and the cult they rode in on!