Friday, June 19, 2009

The perils of being a MexiCunt...read the last paragraph first.

I have come to the realization that I should have choked the life out of Maniac long before now. We have had our moments and for the most part he's tolerable but the joy he takes in needling me about the uh younger men thing is getting annoying. I was kind enough to let him in my house today (Adrian's presence didn't hurt) and he repaid me by blasting reggaeton on my stereo. I don't mind the music so much, I am technically a Mexican after all but his choice of songs was....uh FUCKED UP!
He must have had this in mind for some time, it was too convenient to be a coincidence and because Adrian turned out to be fluent in Spanish, it was also embarrassing as hell! I should have known he was up to something by the smug look on his face, he sat across from us and crossed his arms expectantly as "Mayor que yo" blared from the speakers. It translates to "Older than me" and is basically a song about a guy saying he doesn't care if the girl is older than he is because he wants her in his bed. It goes on to give a list of reasons why this should happen and it sounded suspiciously like the rationalizations I had heard from Richie, making me wonder if he hadn't been tutored by Maniac in the first place. No, Richie was waaaaay too slick to have been schooled by a moron.
This experience was made all the better by the goofy smile on Adrian's face which led me to the conclusion that he could understand the lyrics as well as us Mexicans. Fantastic!
I sat through the song, made some obscene gestures at Maniac and then excused myself into the bedroom, where I have been for the past 25 minutes. I seem to be caught between plotting his death and feeling ridiculous. I was trying really hard to be good today...
Adrian has cash and wants to take me to Espanola in a car of questionable origin. He can't really tell me who it belongs to and that is never a good thing. I will NOT get caught up riding in a hot car with 1/2 a piece of tar in my drawers, not gonna happen! My connect in Esp would be unthrilled if I made the scene with Ade and Maniac in tow, I would be lucky to get a 20 bag much less 14 G's. I need to give this some thought, I should just go alone and let them wait here...if I go at all.
I need to stay home.
I can hear Calle 13 coming from the other room, I'm already exhausted and they've only been here for 45 minutes. I should call Casey and see what he says, I know how much he loves it when I plot potential felonies behind his back.
I swear to Christ if Maniac puts on Daddy Yankee I'll....I'll...*sigh* That shit is like crack to Mexicans/most latin cultures, all we have to do is hear it and we start dancing. Kinda scary....I WILL NOT DANCE!!! I'm not drunk therefore it will not happen!
I'm too far gone to be dealing with this nonsense, I need to be working through this kick, not running to score more dope.
I'm off to give this some thought and I'll leave y'all some annoyingly catchy Don Omar on default, haha no thanx necessary. Attention Mexicans: Mute the music player lest you be caught off guard by the instinctive urge to dance, you have been warned....at the end of the post heh, fat lot of good that did!
Amor kids,
~Melody