Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Lesson for Today is...

The night we got suuuuuuuper wasted on unbelievably good dope.

It's been a pretty slow week, aside from the usual inanity that seems to follow me like a swarm. I scored some sub-standard H from a guy a couple towns over and it was definitely not worth the hassle or the poke. How frustrating is it to waste a perfectly good vein on something that you feel for 30 seconds? Extremely! I'm so shot out that when I do manage to hit a vein it's like I can hear the Hallelujah chorus and doing so just to have it suck ass because the dope was shit is kinda disappointing. Then to top it off the moron I bought it from is calling to pester me about buying more!What part of "Your dope is shit" is so difficult to understand? I stopped answering the phone and then as luck would have it, I ran into him at the store.
He's a total douche but think he's cooler than fuck and has this attitude like he can jive you into doing what he wants as long as he keeps up a constant stream of bullshit. It irritates me no end! At some point I decided to stop being civil and just let what I really felt come pouring out. It went something like this:

Douche: SO whatchu think girl, I got so much of this black I can cut the price in half.
Me: Nope, not interested. That crap was weak and I'd sooner burn my money than spend it on more bullshit. Perhaps the reason you have so much of it is that no one in their right mind would buy from you more than once.
Douche: Fuck that, this dope is fire, everybody's talking about it.
Me: *sniggering* Bet I can tell ya what they're sayin'.
Douche: My people don't bullshit.
Me: Go sell it to them then.
Douche: GIRL! I'm telling you this shit is good, you musta done something wrong with that last bag.
Me: *smirking* Yeah I did, I paid for it, that's where I fucked up.
Douche: *getting red in the face* You need to get in on this! It's gonna go fast and then you'll be back to driving 6 hours to score a bag. You're fucking up, you don't know..
Me:*cutting him off* I don't know? Let me tell you what the fuck I DON"T KNOW! I don't know why I went against instinct and copped from you in the first place. I don't know why you think that I should cave to you, a moron wearing a rip-stop nylon track suit circa 1978, you look like a flame retardant dildo by the way and I definitely don't know why the fuck you're still standing here! You need to do some serious re-evaluating and consider the facts. Fact-your dope is weak, like shooting up sleepy time tea and I ain't havin it. Fact-if everyone was so stoked on it, you wouldn't be hassling me like a broke ass vacuum salesman. Fact-you...are a dipshit and you need to step the fuck away from me and go about your business before I get really pissy and do something that might embarrass break my foot off in your ass.

I walked away while track-suit dingus was still trying to sort through my tirade and haven't heard from him since. The problem with dildo's is they seem to pop up when you least expect it and when it will cause maximum trouble. We'll see.
So I thought I'd share that lil exchange with y'all while it was still fresh in my mind, since it happened this morning haha. The only good dildo is the literal one you keep in a box under the bed,figurative dildos are basically useless and should be avoided at all costs. Just say no to track suit dildos! That's the lesson for today kids, learn it, live it, love it.
~Melody Lee