The Lesson for Today is...

The night we got suuuuuuuper wasted on unbelievably good dope.

It's been a pretty slow week, aside from the usual inanity that seems to follow me like a swarm. I scored some sub-standard H from a guy a couple towns over and it was definitely not worth the hassle or the poke. How frustrating is it to waste a perfectly good vein on something that you feel for 30 seconds? Extremely! I'm so shot out that when I do manage to hit a vein it's like I can hear the Hallelujah chorus and doing so just to have it suck ass because the dope was shit is kinda disappointing. Then to top it off the moron I bought it from is calling to pester me about buying more!What part of "Your dope is shit" is so difficult to understand? I stopped answering the phone and then as luck would have it, I ran into him at the store.
He's a total douche but think he's cooler than fuck and has this attitude like he can jive you into doing what he wants as long as he keeps up a constant stream of bullshit. It irritates me no end! At some point I decided to stop being civil and just let what I really felt come pouring out. It went something like this:

Douche: SO whatchu think girl, I got so much of this black I can cut the price in half.
Me: Nope, not interested. That crap was weak and I'd sooner burn my money than spend it on more bullshit. Perhaps the reason you have so much of it is that no one in their right mind would buy from you more than once.
Douche: Fuck that, this dope is fire, everybody's talking about it.
Me: *sniggering* Bet I can tell ya what they're sayin'.
Douche: My people don't bullshit.
Me: Go sell it to them then.
Douche: GIRL! I'm telling you this shit is good, you musta done something wrong with that last bag.
Me: *smirking* Yeah I did, I paid for it, that's where I fucked up.
Douche: *getting red in the face* You need to get in on this! It's gonna go fast and then you'll be back to driving 6 hours to score a bag. You're fucking up, you don't know..
Me:*cutting him off* I don't know? Let me tell you what the fuck I DON"T KNOW! I don't know why I went against instinct and copped from you in the first place. I don't know why you think that I should cave to you, a moron wearing a rip-stop nylon track suit circa 1978, you look like a flame retardant dildo by the way and I definitely don't know why the fuck you're still standing here! You need to do some serious re-evaluating and consider the facts. Fact-your dope is weak, like shooting up sleepy time tea and I ain't havin it. Fact-if everyone was so stoked on it, you wouldn't be hassling me like a broke ass vacuum salesman. Fact-you...are a dipshit and you need to step the fuck away from me and go about your business before I get really pissy and do something that might embarrass you...like break my foot off in your ass.

I walked away while track-suit dingus was still trying to sort through my tirade and haven't heard from him since. The problem with dildo's is they seem to pop up when you least expect it and when it will cause maximum trouble. We'll see.
So I thought I'd share that lil exchange with y'all while it was still fresh in my mind, since it happened this morning haha. The only good dildo is the literal one you keep in a box under the bed,figurative dildos are basically useless and should be avoided at all costs. Just say no to track suit dildos! That's the lesson for today kids, learn it, live it, love it.
BIIIIIIIIIIIIG kiss,
~Melody Lee

No Rest for the Wicked

Wow, I'm super tired and wishing that I wasn't having to work right now! I just took an hour long snuff/necro call where I had to bind/torture/kill several innocent college girls and then fuck myself while the guy banged their dead bodies.Uh, pervo? Dennis Raider called, he wants his M.O. back!
I'm on for a few more hours and all I want to do is go to bed. I've been awake since...well too long and I have no more H to keep me company. I'm soooo not in the mood for homicidal morons with hard-ons!Or anyone else really, I took a suboxone today and I just wanna crash. I'm not up to my usual standards as far as phone sex goes and I'm sure I made a very poor accomplice/murderess on that last call. Good thing it wasn't my acting he was interested in :P
So this is just a quick stop, just me wanting to bitch and moan about things nobody cares about...just because I can.
XO Melody

Now Even My Cat is Judging Me?

So the dreaded Facebook has redeemed itself...kinda. I still hate it on principal but it did put me in contact with one of my old friends from back in the day, so that has to count for something right? Joey was in a band with me and Regina like a million years ago and I hadn't talked to him in years and years. He went into the military before I started my heroin romance and I've been catching him up on what he missed heheh. He's partly responsible for me and Casey being together but I won't hold that against him haha.
I'm sitting here sweating and thinking and I'm sure everyone knows what it is I'm thinking about. I shouldn't...really I shouldn't but when have I ever let that stop me? I've been unusually morbid lately, thinking that one of these days I might just fall out and disappear forever. A huge relief to all those who hate me and somewhat of a nuisance to those who don't. I'm not really worried about it, as usual I tend not to dwell on ugly things until they come to pass and in this case it would be to late so fuck it.
I'm not self absorbed enough to think that it will make any real difference either way...maybe to my family and friends but that will only last so long.They'll get over it and be better for it in the process. No more worries or stress because of lil ol' me. I'm reminded of those fucktards who commit suicide under the misbegotten notion that, "They'll be sorry when I'm gone!"
Uh, no they won't, not really. They'll be relieved that they don't have to deal with your particular brand of crazy anymore and they will move on. The world won't stop because you left it, just how it goes. Eh, whatever.
Oh my God! I know what's going on here!!! I'm semi-dopesick and that always turns me into a maudlin moron. Sorry bout that, bleak introspection seems to be a side effect of the kicking process or mine anyway. I'll be good in a few days, I'll either be loaded or clean and both of those get rid of this whiny emo-ish (ugh emo) persona I'm wearing. I loathe emo in all it's weepy incarnations and it made me ill when I read something stating that the Descendents were the forefathers of the movement. It gave me that same sick feeling as when I hear Green Day refered to as the Godfathers of punk. Are these people retarded or just stupid? Who actually believes that??? Ugh, I have no words...almost heheh.
See, I'm regaining some of my old self already, must be that Percocet kicking in to relieve this edgy suckiness that has been plagueing me for the past couple days. No need to go listen to Death Cab and slit my wrists with a dull butter knife (I so do not listen to DC!).
Nothing productive on my list today, but then there rarely is. I'm quite literally the laziest person I know and unmotivated...oh so unmotivated! I do a little as possible for as long as possible, maybe they can put that on my tombstone?
I wish I could recapture some of that manic energy that used to make me sanitize the house from corner to corner. This place is trashed right now! It's so bad that even Fat Mike shook his head in disgust and refused to look at me. Now even my cat is judging me! If I do get some smack, I will try my hardest to remain semi-concious and clean the house. I'm in such a good mood when I'm loaded, nothing irritates me...except for Casey. I don't think that counts tho cuz that fucker could drive Saint Jude to slaughter terminally ill children! Was that in poor taste? Good.
So since Joey has informed me that he is an old man now and listen to folk music I will set my default song accordingly. Or try to anyway, I can only do so much and Joan Baez I ain't, perhaps some Dylan? That's as folksy as I get. Since I am first and formost a junky mess, I will choose the song (one of them anyway) rumored to be about Edie Sedgewick and her love affair with notariety and heroin, it's appropriate.

STONED MUSINGS ON RAPISTS & KURT HEMMET'S FRO

My version of the Veronica Lake ^^

OK well I'm extremely stoned right now and got this wild hair up my ass to come on here and write something. I met some new cuties that smoke weed and aside from their hotness they also take tons of useless drugs off my hands and convert them to cash. Gotta love that. So I've been getting stoned alot more than before...that's not to say that I've given up the H. I've managed to do both without any cross conflict. It also doesn't hurt that my new acquaintances have smack hookups too. Who would've thought that a chance meeting at the wal-mart would reap such bounty?

I did the last 4 hours of my phone-perv duty completely wasted, like stare at the wall for 40 minutes wasted. I have no probs doing the actual talk, that shit is automatic but taking their billing info is another story entirely. That's right people, you read right, I, Melody Lee am being entrusted to retrieve and record thousands of Credit card numbers. Not just numbers but exp dates, CVV codes and complete billing addresses. Basically everything I need to wreak major havoc at Western Union and beyond. I haven't tho, probly never will. It's like the time my mom entrusted me to do her taxes, I can't bring myself to fuck over someone who trusts me *sigh* one of my few faults. I'm stupid like that...which isn't to say I don't think about it alot but I won't do it. Goddammit!

Not out of respect for the pervs (they're mostly pedophiles anyway) but out of respect for the people I work for. If this had been 4 years ago not even a blood tie would have kept me from making use of the info, I mean who the fuck are those guys to me really? A paycheck sure but not much else. Most of them are abusive date rapists and if I wasn't such a stellar actress the contempt in my voice would be over apparent. I have little tolerance for rapists, I've come across a handful and they are generally despicable.

Not gonna go the whole boo hoo route about rape, it's not something that wrecks me and for anyone contemplating an irate lecture, don't bother. I've been under a couple rapists myself so it's not like I don't know how it goes, I just don't care. Those events are not important in the history of me and I'll be damned if I spend the rest of my days scared and emotionally crippled. Why let something perpetrated by a retard which a penchant for forced copulation define me? I don't and neither should anybody else, they should suck it up and move on. And for any girls who want to go all Gloria Steinem about it, pack up the femi-nazi costume and calm down. Not saying you don't have a right to be pissed, just saying that you should get the fuck over it, why give it and him any significance?

Moving on, fuck I'm surprised at my eloquence, all things considered I've maintained a pretty good streak of lucidity. Aside from straying a bit off topic.

So I was thinking about doing my hair tonight, you can see from the pic that my roots are waaaay grown out BUT I thought that although no one can pull off a hair malfunction like yours truly, I better not risk it. Nice run on sentence huh?

I also thought better of trying to do one of those lame-o podcasts cuz I have probs concentrating on those as is. I usually duck out to go score and end up playing 15 minutes off music and leaving 45 of dead air. Priorities and all that. Besides which, converting all my music files is a nightmare and don't get me started on trying to get the vinyl on my laptop. I'll get it all done eventually but FUCK! I should have spent less $$ with Dr Strange and more on a comprehensive suite of music converting software. But no amount of software can equal limited edition Addicts and Sloppy Seconds picture discs. Who says money doesn't buy happiness? I have several examples that lay waste to that theory, my record collection is just one item on a long and varied list. Guess what's at the top? Oh ok I'll tell you, it's heroin, are you surprised?

As updates go this has been pretty pathetic but what can I say, it is what it is. I'll do better next time, scout's honor ( I was soooo not a girl scout).

The weed is wearing off so it's time to see Cameron about a refresher...or at least some oxys, then they can go. Momma has to be up at 10 am for work tomorrow and if I don't get 12 hours of sleep I get cranky.

So I think this is enough for now, I still have the last part of that story but at this point I think most have lost interest. I wouldn't exactly know tho, since I haven't checked my comments in over a month. I wrote that last post and skedaddled with nary a peek. I'm sure I'll have some beauties to look forward to when I do decide to check it out.

So next time I post I'll let y'all see what I did to my hair heheh, it's gotten fairly long and I'm just about at the breaking point. I can only go so many months without altering it in some way and since black and blonde is all I'm permitted to do colorwise, hacking at it is the next best thing. I swore I'd let it grow, Casey is surprisingly attached to long hair considering he mainly dated girls with shaved heads, I should know, I was one of 'em. I've strayed a long way from the Mohawks and devil locks but I'm still the same crazy cunt, ask anyone. Besides, I'd feel like a retard trying to pull something like that off at my age, it's a bit too Wattie for my tastes and he's like 40 years older than me. Can everyone say Mohawk toupee? Not sure if he's still sporting that look but it was scary while it lasted. Even Metallica cut their hair...but then grew it back again when they lost their dirthead cred and record sales were affected haha, it's those priorities again. I don't think I'm the only person had been relieved to see the Hemmet fro depart. But relief was short lived. I think, I don't keep up with Metallica enough to know for sure. I haven't willingly listened to And Justice For All since I was in Jr high and that was the last album I could stomach, even then. Getting a weird craving to listen to Sanitarium tho, I will banish it by putting on some Electric Eels instead. One of the best thing to come out of Ohio besides The Dead Boys and Devo...I think it was Ohio. Whatever, they kick ass (as is proved by my sweet default song).

OK, now I'm really rambling so I better go. Remember everyone, when leaving condescending comments be sure and spell them correctly. Whether you are moron or not, it makes you look idiotic, like a tard making fun of a cripple and kills any chance that I might be insulted. But then there was never really any chance of that...was there?

Kisses,

~Melody Lee