Casey at 15. Wearing Donna's hat, rummaging through her (stolen) backpack at Ed's. He had been shooting dope for a little over a year by this time. He looks like an angel doesn't he? Wolf in a Black Flag sheep suit!
This is going to be a very random post. It's just another boring night in NoWheresville and I have nothing but wakefulness to look forward to. Not because I'm wired, oh no, it's because I've over indulged in my favorite pastime......relaxing with my man H.
My main man is an asshole that way, he always promises a good time but when the good times are over, he kicks you in the culo and goes on his merry way. Heroin is one moody bastard and he runs out on you when things are just getting started. Eh fuck it all anyway, as usual no one twisted my arm and forced me to shoot dope and I have no one to blame for this twitchy feeling but myself. I will do it all over again and never learn my lesson...mainly because I don't want to. Every time I score I know that I will do it til it's gone and then feel like shit for a week, nothing new. No regrets.
Damn, I always get whiny and introspective when I'm dope sick, I HATE that shit! I abhor whining!
So some news on the family front, Casey's sister C. may be coming to stay with us for an undetermined amount of time. I won't disclose details as that is her business and not my story to tell. It should be interesting, I mean C and I have had some major conflicts in the past. Casey's family have never really cared for me, to put it bluntly, they think I'm the anti-Christ, I can't imagine why...
So awhile back I decided to do the adult thing and forget about the time she tried to get me arrested for sales, the times she tried to get Casey to forget I existed, the time she got us kicked out. Ok, maybe not forget, lets say I decided to let it go. I suppose we'll see what happens. I've been told that I'm a bit of an asshole and that I'm somewhat hard to live with but I like to think that those fuckers don't know their 'ass' from a 'hole' in the ground! Well ok, I am an asshole but as I've said previously, I'm a lovable asshole, there's a difference!
Anyway, I was cleaning the house and listening to The Petshop Boys(sorry Rufus), when it suddenly occurred to me that West End girls had little to fear from Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe. West End boys however...
So the tattoo has healed beautifully and I'm already planning my next piece. Since everything on my left arm is below the elbow, I'm going to get nasty, gaping stitches tattooed all around my upper arm, just above my elbow. If done properly it should give the impression that I have chopped off my own arm and had a tattooed arm sewn on in it's place. I'm even going so far as to get the cliche spiderweb on my elbow and have it go only as high as the stitches. Add to that the incredibly trashy "STAY SICK" I'm getting inked on my fingers and I should be well on my way to finishing up the left arm. The fingers are in homage to the late, great Lux Interior BTW.
Moving on, it has just come to my attention that there is not one but THREE cops living less that a block away from me! It used to be 2 metro cops but now I see that we have a metro, a sheriff and a state trooper...all in the same house. Now I don't profess to know jack shit about cops but the last time I checked, these fuckers loathe each other. In Bako, the Metro cops thought the Sheriffs were stupid hicks (ironic because everyone in Bako is basically a hick), the Sheriffs thought Metro were know it all butt plugs and the Highway Patrol thought they were both douchebags! The only reason I am privy to this information is because K-net was made up of Metro and County and they called in HP when needed. K-net raided us on a regular basis, so I got to hear alot of shit talk between those fuckers while I was handcuffed and sitting on my front lawn.
Wow, three cops, I feel so safe. Cocksuckers!
And that brings me to another point; my use of bad language. According to one asshole, I curse like a sailor and say, "Douchebag" and "Cocksucker" too much. What was my reply you ask?
"Well maybe if I wasn't constantly confronted by douchebags and cocksuckers, I wouldn't feel the need to say it all the time....DOUCHEBAAAAAAG!"
I hope that cleared it up.
In tribute to my ongoing state ordered therapy I have decided to share two things with you 1) When separated, "Therapist" spells "The Rapist." This is disconcerting to say the least and bears further scrutiny sometime in the future.
2) My new favorite quote, "Psychoanalysis is the disease for which it claims to be the cure." ~Karl Krauss
I don't necessarily believe #2 to be totally accurate but I do like the way it sounds and the fact that it is bound to piss people off has made it all the more delicious. Take into consideration that one of my all time favorite lyrics is from Last Caress by the Misfits, it goes as follows, "I got somethin' to say, I raped your mother today and it doesn't matter much to me as long as she spread..." Pure poetry! How can you not love that? Offensive yes but genius just the same. It is complex in it's simplicity haha, figure that one out.
So here we are...another day in the life and wasn't it titillating? Sorry if y'all are bored but them's the breaks, it can't all be meth and heroin all of the time. Well, in a perfect world...
Now to top off this peek into my convoluted psyche, I will re-post a rather brilliant rant I posted on Myspace in August of last year when I was feeling a wee bit dopesick. Just like my last re-post, I am enchanted and a little in love with it right now.
[Self involved douchebags
I think maybe the fact that I am so up front about shit that most would never admit to frightens people. Am I scary? I mean come on, what's the point of trying to act all pristine when EVERYBODY who knows me knows what I've been up to. Why hide it, besides scum always floats to the surface. I can see it now, I'll be sitting with somebody who has known me for a few months and then blam, some jerk off makes a comment that just lays it all out. Whatever, it doesn't bother me, if I cared what everyone thought I wouldn't have done the shit I did.
Most people loooove me, some people hate me. For some reason there is no in between. I don't know why, I am a supremely nice person, ask anyone. I get along with everybody........mostly. And if I don't like you I have an excellent reason, perhaps you are self-involved douchebag that doesn't deserve to breath the same air as me or a conceited cunt who thinks the sun shines out of her twat. Either of those is an excellent reason for me to decide that you could die tomorrow and it wouldn't affect me in the least. I'm sure you wouldn't care if I disappeared either but hey, who gives a fuck what you think anyway, you are a self-involved, douchebag cunt after all and your opinion doesn't matter.
I am always in such a good mood when I am sober, can you tell? So I'll leave it at that because even though I love to talk about my self (I am sooo fascinating), enough is enough. ]
I do think it's funny that I'm always on about self-involved assholes when I am quite possibly the most self involved person I have ever come across. I mean look at this blog, it's all me, me, me and Heroin....just the way I like it heheh. Look at it this way, you write what you know and I know me (and Heroin) better than anything else, it's a winning combination. Ok anons, take the bait, you know you want to.
So this is the portion of our program where it's time to say goodnight,I'm off my loves, tune in next week (or possibly sooner), same bat time, same bat channel. XOXO Melody