Saturday, February 26, 2011

Rude Awakenings and The Salton Sea (dying to know how I worked that in there huh?)

My friend Andrea tells me I need to update my playlist, we had a talk about it. She spent quite awhile pointing out how much good "new" music has come out recently and that my playlist was too retro-fied.
What can I say to that? Most of my favorite music was born long before I was so of course my choices are gonna seem outdated. What am I to do, litter my selections with Taylor Momsen and Justin Bieber? All I can think of is how badly I wanna knock her down, snatching out her weave in the process and how my fingers itch to shave off his ridiculous hair! I am however amused (more than I should be), that as puberty rears it's ugly head, the Biebs *gag* is looking more and more like Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry. So, so, SO amused, haha.
I'm not totally unaware of the influx of new music but can I help it if the majority of it makes my skin crawl? I won't tell you what I thought the first time I heard Vampire Weekend, it isn't fit for polite company.
Yes I like Jay-Z and Weezy and even Kanye, though he's a humongous douche nozzle. Seriously, has there ever been a bigger contradiction? When that fool raps he's brilliant but when he opens his mouth any other time it's like he's a high functioning retard. He also sounds like he has marbles in his mouth, which is kind of annoying but mostly funny.
So I danced to Lady Gaga and Ke$ha at a gay disco in Albuquerque, my reputation is shattered! I was coked beyond all comprehension when this happened, as is only right and proper for a trip to a gay disco but yes, I danced. And I was awesome! Haha, as any coked up bitch is bound to be (or thinks she is *wink*)
The issue is that though much of that shit can be tolerated under certain chemical conditions, I will not be adding 3OH!3 to my music player. Sheeeeit! Do enough drugs and anything will sound good! One summer I did so much speed that it made me think I liked the Afghan Whigs. What a rude awakening that was!
So though I will be adding things to my playlist, don't expect any miracles, it will most likely be more of what's already there. Sorry.
In other big news I made an undercover trip to Cali. 10 blissful days in a town where the smog can actually block out the sun and the Dope is primo supremo. As soon as we cleared Tehachapi I could feel the smog headache kick in and I knew that I was finally back in Kern County.
You may be asking why I was so hush hush about the whole thing and the main reason is that I still have several open warrants in Kern County and I just didn't feel like doing 6 months + at the lovely Lerdo Detention Facility. There are a few select assclowns who would love nothing more than to see me languishing in the hoosegow and since they read this see how it could've turned out for your lovely, Heroine.
We went for my Grandmother’s 80th Birthday and it was really nice. They had it in this historic old building downtown that used to be a mortuary like 50 years ago but has been refurbished into a kind of event hall. I thought it was in poor taste to have an 80th B-day in an ex mortuary, refurbished or not but no one else seemed to make the connection.
Ironically enough, from age 14 on, we all used to break into that building to get fucked up and sleep if necessary. That motherfucker was creepy and haunted as shit, no lie. At that time it still had the old embalming tables and all kinds of weird crap in it and because there was a caretaker living on the property, you could turn on the power. I lost my drawers more than once on those embalming tables (I am beyond classy, haha) but after some of us got stuck in the old elevator and terrorized, I kept my visits few and far between. I would crash in the amphitheater at the park before sleeping in that joint again. I saw some freaky shit and no I was not on LSD or any other hallucinogenic substances. I was pretty damn close to sober and what I saw would make those lames from Ghost Adventures piss their panties. I will leave it at that.
So after being the dutiful Daughter/Granddaughter I got to see Drew which was pretty kickass and I was super relieved that he hadn't joined the list of fallen comrades. He looked really good actually and is doing quite well. I also saw some others who shall remain nameless as they don't want it noised about that they are still using. They have donned the mask of sobriety and who am I to tear it off?
I also got the story behind Ashley's last days from one who was there and I'll just leave well enough alone. Let them believe what they want, she's gone and we can't get her back...that's the fucked up part, not how we lost her, just that we did. Kisses Ash, miss you girl.
Every mothefucker there is on Methadone, which makes me feel sorry for when they go many of them will at one time or another. M-done is a bitch but I can't judge any damn one because I've done it too. Taken that shit already knowing what it will put me through just because I was too much of a pussy to tolerate a 2 week kick. Try 2 months or more for the 'done kick and that will put shit into perspective. The problem is that unless you've been there, unable to eat, sleep or even function for more than 60 days, well it's hard to imagine, much less guard against.
So hey guess what? I got to do some really really good Mex brown powder while I was there. You know, the kind that looks like powder til you touch it or breath on it, then it turns into tar. Oh my God it was sooooooo good! I don’t know how much we spent but it was a fair amount of cash and the bags were F-A-T FAT! Fuck it was good to be home, I only wish it had lasted longer, as in permanently. But nooooooo, Casey would have none of it, we were coming back to horrid New Mexico and that was that, so here I am. Missing Drew and everybody else like crazy and wishing I was still there.
When we got home our landlord had spazzed out because we didn’t tell him we were going and he thought we had abandoned the house...with all our shit still in it. I’m talking like 3 bedrooms, a living room, kitchen, bathroom and garage (with a truck in it) full of really nice shit and he thought we left it all behind. Hellooooo?
He also called animal control on Fat Mike and we had to go bail him out of kitty jail. $75 fucking dollars to pick up a cat that never shoulda been there in the first place. When we got him home he looked so chill, like he never doubted for a second that we would be there to get him out. He immediately resumed his routine of covering everything in cat hair and meowing loudly for no apparent reason. Yet we love him still, well I do, Casey had a moment of regret (after a long meowing session), thinking kitty may have been better off at the shelter but I gave him the evil eye and he hasn’t mentioned it since.
By the way, if you ever want to see what misery made flesh looks like (no, not me silly!) take a visit to Needles, California. I thought nothing could top Rexland Acres, CA but I was oh so wrong! Needles is as godforsaken as the Salton Sea, (the Val Kilmer movie kicks ass btw, watch it here) just without the gross water and dead fish. So when I start to dwell on how much I hate where I am, I will revisit in my mind, the place they call Needles and feel much better. Such a shame to waste that name on that place, it has such potential.
XoXo Melody Lee