Right, so this isn't going to be one long, focused effort, probly closer to a semi-coherent rant/ramble...you have been warned. My crappy music player is undergoing upgrades so I haven't been able to change the music, you'll just hafta grin and bear it or hit mute, your choice.
For the person who asked, Lora was one of my closest friends back home and she died of an H OD on the 4th of this month. She was complicated, difficult to get along with and so damn hard headed that it made you want to rip your hair out. I love her like a sister and am having one of my rare moments of guilt over her death.
Had I stayed in Cali, I would have inevitably been by her side and might have been able to keep her above ground a few years longer. She didn't want me to come to New Mexico, said that if I did, Casey would just use me as a crutch to fuck up and then put the all blame on me. She was right to an extent, he does do that sometimes.
She was kinda mad at me for leaving, Jerry said he knew I would and that he and L had argued over it, she was convinced that I wasn't that stupid and he thought I loved Casey too much not to. They were like the flip side of me and Casey; dark, dysfunctional and so caught up in each other that it made all bullshit seem worthwhile. I can't even imagine what Jerry is going through right now...
So anyway, that's just one of the reasons I've been MIA this month, the main one really. The others include my ever annoying medical issues (my percocet has been raised to an insane amount, not that I'm complaining) and by recommendation of a friend from work, I might be going to some specialist in Arizona, if I ever get off my ass and call his office. If not I'll be keeping up my monthly trek to Albuquerque to see my usual useless doc. Even I know better than to give someone a derivative of a med they have a severe allergy to. I was twitching and jerking like a marionette on crack! Stupid cunt!
I have gone back to refusing to take any pill I cannot readily identify. It's less twitchy that way.
Also, my family came to visit, which is always cause for equal parts happiness and alarm, nobody gets to me like my family! It was nice, even if my mom can still make me feel like a disobedient 8yr old.
In unrelated news, I got the stitches tattooed on my wrist awhile back and never got around to putting up pics. It looks gross, in a completely kick-ass way! They look all cartoon-y and Frankenstein-ish, I fucking looooooove them! You know something is creepy looking when the guy doing the tat finishes up and says, "Fuck, that shit looks crazy!" The best part was when it was all swollen and scabbed up, it looked almost real, people would stop and take a second look, just to be sure it wasn't. All in all, they are perfect! I might just put up one of the scabby pics, so y'all can enjoy it too.
I also have lotsa pics from the thing in Vegas, so I'll be putting those up as well. I woulda done it sooner but this thing with Lora made me feel even more lethargic and useless than usual. Casey looks adorable of course and I, having refused to paint and curl myself within an inch of my life, looked like a deranged Alice in wonderland with brass knuckles on the belt over my, um...pinafore haha. Not quite a pinafore but you can judge for yourself...when I get around to putting up the pics, that is. Maybe sometime this week.
My new friend wants me to take him to Albuquerque today and I'm not sure if I will. Casey hates him already because he calls me "Mami" and ignores Casey when he comes over. He comes to the door ALOT! So much that I just turned off my cell and ignore the door, it's easier that way. Cameron introduced him to me as being one of the few H users in town, he thought we might be beneficial to each other. So far I haven't seen it but whatever.
Tracksuit dildo got his car riddled with bullets at a stoplight but they missed his fat head, not sure if I care either way about that one. Never had enough interaction with him to wish him dead or alive, just enough to know he is a jerk-off of Spencer Pratt-like proportions and I want nothing further to do with him, especially if he's drawing bullets!
So, I guess that's all the news that's un-fit to print. Expect some pics soon and I'm sure some more rambling will follow as well.
~Melody Lee
P.S. Thanx to Rufus for threatening to come looking for me, with a search party like that, I may just go missing more often!
