Saturday, March 27, 2010
Mean for all the Right Reasons
The conclusion to my Richie episode:
I sat on the bed puffing on that disgusting brown cigarette and wondering how I was gonna extricate myself from this inconvenient situation. I hate to label Richie inconvenient but he most definitely is! Where he goes, difficult to explain misadventures follow, whether by accident or design, they are nothing if not inconvenient!
I needed to keep control of myself and the best way for me to do that was to climb into the safe, warm skin of sarcasm and snarky bitchiness that I wear so well. Talk about a defense mechanism, haha.
I didn't want to be mean, it's not in my nature to be nasty to people I like but this was an exception. I would tone down the acidity and keep the ouch factor to a minimum. Good plan!
I turned to Rich and blew a steady stream of icky More smoke into his face, looking bored and asking, "So what's up junior, what was so important that you had to stalk me into R-man's boudoir?"
I made sure to use equal parts mockery and disinterest to add just the right flavour to my question. I sounded like a proper cunt!
Poor little boy did his best to ignore my sudden personality switch but I could tell it had thrown him off a bit. I lay back on the bed, my legs hanging over the edge, feet swinging like a 3yr old, I even started humming under my breath as I created artful smoke rings and blew them up towards the ceiling.
He had started up some slick monologue about why he was pursuing me and ended it with a question...a question I ignored completely until he reached out and touched my arm in askance. Only then did I stop my humming...just long enough to turn towards him with a blank look and ask, "Hmmm? Did you just ask me something?"
It was brilliant! I felt bad, really I did, even if his darling face hadn't registered all that confused emotion and wilting testosterone, I still would've felt felt awful...pretty sure anyway. *smirk*
I knew if I could make him whiny, it would give me just the push I needed to finish the job, you all know my feelings about whining!
He tried to regroup and I hit him with, "Spit it out highschool, I don't have all night." Technically I had all night and into the next day but it was too good a line to pass up and Richie didn't notice anyway.
When he didn't say anything, I closed my eyes and returned to my smoke rings and leg swinging, when something works, stick with it! I felt the bed shift, dipping down like he'd raised himself up or rolled on his side. I was hoping it was him turning his back on me but when I opened one eye to take a look, I saw him looking down at me, the full force of those green eyes directed right at me!
My resistance wavering, I decided the best course of action was to close my eye and pretend I was not affected in the least. I thought I was doing a reasonably good job of it until I felt his breath tickling my ear and he whispered,"What you're doing right now, it's not gonna work."
I tried to counter with, "Hmmm?" but I knew he was onto me and it was gonna take alot more than vague indifference to put him off. I decided I need to up the asshole factor and try a direct and well, somewhat insulting approach. It was all I had left unless I wanted to resort to something that would make him hate me and that wasn't what I was after. I can be mean withhout being unnecessarily vicious, I save that for personal arguments and catfights, heheh.
I opened both eyes and gazed back up at him, schooling my face into something resembling amused understanding. Anything but what I was really feeling, if I let him see any kind of affection lurking in me, he would move in for the kill.
I kept my eyes on his and when he smiled at me, I smiled back, I couldn't help it but I refused to lose sight of my objective! This was gonna be really ugly and mean and so not what I wanted but it had to be done.
Still smiling at him, I reached up and put my hand on the side of that devilishly adorable face...and did my best to wreck every last vestige of self confidence in my beautiful boy. At least temporarily.
Stroking my thumb over his lower lip for extra effect...and ok because a broken finger couldn't have stopped me, I said,"So what's the deal pretty boy, is it really that bad? Don't try and tell me that you haven't had a hundred and one chances to get your shit wet in the few days you've been on the loose, I know you." He started to say something but I put my fingers over his mouth and continued,"Did something happen in jail to make you...uh shy with the ladies, an incedent in the showers perhaps? Is it cuz you feel "safe" with me?" He snorted and shook his head as if to say "what the fuck?" but I was not to be stopped. "Tell you what, if you really need to get off so desperately, you can go go into the bathroom for a little "alone" time. I won't tell." I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him close so I could put my mouth next to his ear and whisper,"Just remember, the door doesn't lock and it, uh...opens out."
He grabbed my wrist, pulling it off his neck and stood up. He paced back and forth a couple times running his hand over his shaved head before yelling,"FUUUUUCK!!!!" and fixing me with an questioning glare. "How the hell do you do that? How can you be be so godamned sweet and poisonous at the same time?"
I was now sitting cross-legged on the bed, fucking with the unusually large master remote, trying to look ocupied. When he kept silent I looked up and saw him staring at me expectantly.
"Oh, you want an answser to that?" I asked innocently,"I don't know how, it's a gift." I winked at him and went back to pressing buttons.
Poor Richie was at a loss. He sighed and told me stay put, he'd be right back. I didn't bother to look up, just said,"Mmmhmm" and held my breath while I waited for him to leave the room. When I heard the door close I let myself fall back on the bed and put my arm over my eyes, trying to will my heartbeat back to normal. I was having some success until I heard,"Daaaaang,that was some fucked up shit! Did you really just allude to a possible shower rape?"
I sat up and scanned the room for uninvited cholos and discovered an irritatingly familiar disembodied head peering from the corner of window, partially obscured by R-man's gaudy drapes.
I stood and walked towards him,"You're gonna choke on those big words, allude! Pffft! How the fuck are you even up there? This trailer is like 20ft off the ground!" I looked out to find him teetering on a stack of pallets and milk crates.
He smirked at me and said,"I couldn't miss this drama, that shit was better than watching tele-novelas." he brought his hand up to wave a video cam in my face," I bet those fuckers on youtube will think so too." He started laughing, way too pleased with himself.
I reached out and smacked my palm hard against his fat head, shoving him off his rickety tower to land in a sputtering heap, somewhere out of my range of vision, I told y'all that trailer was high. *snickering*
I could still hear him crashing around outside when Richie came back in the room, "What was that?"
"No one, er nothing important." I replied, promising myself that I would scour R-man's property until I found and destroyed Maniac's little recording! Youtube indeed!
I turned my attention to Rich, noting that the glint in his eye had dimmed considerably since my last assault on his ego, I was hoping that one dose of my acerbic tongue was enough. I started having doubts when he grabbed my hand a led me over to the bed. He sat and then pulled me down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his face into my shoulder. He didn't do more than that, so I stayed there. Eventually I turned towards him and hugged him back, it seemed like the thing to do and though the kicked puppy persona was clearly in evidence, he wasn't actively whining, so it was tolerable. Does that sound mean?
After a bit he just looked at me and said,"Why does shit get so fucked up when I'm with you?"
I looked back and said, "I don't know, it's a gift."
He laughed and I kissed him the forehead and then jumped off his lap and went to look through R-man's DVD collection. I avoided Requiem for a Dream like the herpes (that movie is waaaaay too fucked up for a night of light viewing) and chose Love & a .45, a personal favorite that I think I actually gave R-man for X-mas. It's not a widely distributed release, though it fucking should be!
So I got to watch movies with Richie curled up next to me, his head on my lap just like the little boy I keep telling him he is. I am so not one of those lame bitches to get all soppy over the little boy lost routine but it was extremely freakin cute! I even took a pic with my cell and sent it to Casey so he could see, haha. Not as fucked up as it sounds, I promise you. I called my angel to tell him what was going on and that I was running to Colorado the next day. Whe he asked what kind of mischief I was up to with Rich, I told him and sent the pic. (I might even post it here sometime, if it hides enough of his face to keep some meddling assclown from sending it to every P.O. in NM, some people need a fucking hobby!)
See, when it comes down to it, Casey knows I'm a mess but he trusts me just the same. I've done lots of things I shouldn't but never anything there's no coming back from, not recently anyway *wink*
I think the fact that I could but I don't means alot, just the same way he could but he hasn't. That could change but for now it's a comfortable place to be and that's all that matters. I adore Casey on a level so far above any silly jr. high flirtations, it makes everything else seem small by comparison, no bullshit.
Not saying it wouldn't be fun but ultimately not worth it, if it wrecks what I have at home. Am I a dope or what? I know what Anna Banana would say, haha but she's got issues of her own right now, so she can shut the fuck up! Love you bitch and you know I mean that in the nicest possible way.
So as you can see, I'm not dead, in jail and Casey did not murder me, chop me into bits and leave me as crow bait in the desert. Sorry to disappoint, haha.
Actually I am in excellent health and spirits! So much so that I have decided to put my well known hatred for Las Vegas, NV aside long enough to attend the 13th annual Viva Las Vegas rockabilly thingie. Couldn't give a lesser shit about the multitudes of hipster-billies that will be there, I'm just going so I can see Chuck Berry. Really can't pass up that opportunity, can I? Vicky is coming from Taos to watch the house, not that she needs to, this neighborhood is lousy with cops! Lucky me.
Too bad I've been snarfing sour bears all month and will look more like Bettie Pork Link than Bettie Page. Oh well, it is what is is haha and it's too late to cultivate an eating disorder especially for the trip. I'm sure I'll think of something to bring me back to my usual self before too long *wink* Don't worry, I'll take lots of pics so you can see me with my hair in victory rolls and Casey all greased up. I'd say we're worse than the hipster-billies but Casey's closer to a 50's grease-monkey than 75% of those fuckers and me, well I can get away with anything. Haha, seriously!
Besides, a large portion (toooo fucking large!)of those people care more about using the right brand of pomade than they do about learning the history behind the music they listen to. It goes a lil deeper than Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins, no disrespect to them, they kick ass but come the fuck on! Do some research, don't hogtie yourself with what amounts to 50's 101, The Stray Cats and the Nekromantix! Take some pride in what you stand for and I mean really take the time to find out, looking the part is not enough! I blame that for the scores of lame-ass, substandard rockabilly/psychobilly music that has assaulted my ears of late! If I hafta see one more crappy band, dripping Murray's hair dressing and under the impression that that, combined with using the word "cat" every other godamned sentence makes them passable, I'll swallow my fucking tongue! Heheh sorry, damn that came out of nowhere huh? Just one of my peeves rearing up to say hello.
Oh and before you ask, no I did not manage to find and stomp Maniac's filmaking debut out of existance, I had just started to file it under "Fucktard Cholo Fabrications" when I recieved a voice mail where all I could hear was gleeful tweeker chortling and me and Richie playing out our little episode in the background. This was followed by him sending me a highlight reel *sigh* I will think of something appropriately evil if the youtube threat becomes a reality!!! Try me.
Hugs, kisses and all that other good shit,