A quickie, complete with photos

Pics of me, Casey, Fat Mike and some other misc crap, including a shot of my face busted to hell and back after my last catfight.Yes I'm alive and no Casey didn't pack me off for being a whore...because I'm not, well technically but in the sense that I've banged other guys since I've been here, uh no, I'm not. I'm kinda caught up working and trying to gets all this graphic novel stuff sorted and getting high (was there ever any doubt)so it might take me til next week to post the conclusion to the story. My latest headache involves Casey's snitch-cunt sister who has nothing better to do than carry tales to our family in Cali. I could understand if we were on the verge of fucking off everything but we're not! Both of us are working and maintaining all our bills, so what the fuck? You're going to tell my mommy on me? Seriously? It so utterly ridiculous and true to form, I should've expected it. His Family have been running to my mom with complaints for as long as I've known them. Guess what? She couldn't fix it when I was 15, she can't fix it now! Get a grip and fuck off! His sis is such a mess that she has to try and shit all over what we have to make herself look better. She's miserable in her marriage and miserable in her life but that's not our fault! I tried to help her out and she knifed me in the back out of spite and jealousy. That's on me for giving her the benefit of the doubt but believe me, I won't make that mistake twice. Ugh, getting sidetracked, I'm still burnt, can ya tell? So I'll try and get that shit together and post it by next week.Check the voice thingie in the meantime, I update there pretty often. Bye kids,
~Melody Lee

Just click the fucking button already ------------------------------------------------------->

So yep, I'm a laaaazy cunt...and a slut to according to anon wisdom light-years beyond my own. I recorded another voice blog for your enjoyment, it cut me off as usual so I'll probly be making another one as soon as I post this. I forgot to mention something kinda important that I'm doing with this blog. Sick and stuffed up, I sound like a tranny but it is what it is, deal with it. I'm even now contemplating how to import part tres from my other computer, if all else fails I s'pose I can just e-mail it to m'self. So click da button, it don't bite, I may or may not be too unmotivated to turn off my default music so y'all might hafta go to the source. Your choice kiddies, I'll be back later. Enjoy the pic, Maniac managed to somehow erase my unbelievably frizzy hair which is why it looks kinda weird on one side but after the time consuming and amazing job he did painting a glove over my tats(diff pic), I can't really complain.
XXX~Melody Lee

Part Dos: Mi Vida Coca OR "Who says crack ain't sexy?"

So I smoked smoked crack and enjoyed every second of it. Yeah, I said it...and?

I'd made my little announcement and less than 60 seconds later I was in possession of a fresh stem and a rock o' caine the size of my thumb. Loco had pressed the aforementioned items into my hands and then vanished on some mysterious errand, so I was finally able to relax. I leaned back against the closest wall and slid down to a crouch, thinking I would take a hit and then try and locate Adrian. Breaking off a good sized "crumb", I tucked it into it's little brillo nest and called out, "Lumbre?" *Fire

Maniac tossed me his lighter and I sparked it, sucking in a generous amount of mouth numbing coke-smoke. Holding it in for as long as I could, I slowly pushed my way back up the wall. That shit rung my bell! I felt a-fucking-mazing...for about 20 seconds and then the nausea hit. I exhaled a huge cloud and casually made my way (see ran), to the back door, opening it just in time to puke all over Loco's dogs. I didn't do it intentionally but they were jumping up on me, wanting attention...and boy did they ever get it! Instead of taking heed and backing the fuck off, they woofed at me and started...eating it. GROSS!!!

When it was over, I looked up and spotted Ade and two of the nameless homies from inside. They were sitting on old, ripped-out car seats that had been arranged around a fire pit and passing around a bottle of Mezcal. The fire was just embers, which was why I hadn't noticed them straight off. That and the fact that I had been in the process of heaving/fighting off overly affectionate pit bulls.

I still had pipe and rock in hand, so I secured both inside my bra and located the water spigot on the back wall of the house. I swished water around my mouth to eradicate the taste of bile, popped a piece of Orbit (trusty pocket pack), and walked over to the boys. Adrian looked pissed...and adorable! He had a cigg between his lips, hands clenched on his lap, fingers flexing. It looked eerily similar to what Casey does when he's trying to keep from murdering me. Casey looks pretty fucking hot when he wants to throttle me and I must admit that Ade was channeling that same look. It's a good look haha, but I'm a bit unusual and another less adventurous girl might find it unsettling.

Not me! I found it extremely attractive and used it as an excuse to do something unbelievably stupid and so...me. I stood in front of A and smiled, the rock had made me reckless and...stupid. Looking from his face to his hands I asked, "Are those for meeee?" His fists twitched and tightened in response, baby boy was heated!

I snagged the smoke out of his mouth and stuck it in my own, mending this was gonna require some serious diversionary tactics! Puffing on it I offered, "Ya know, they say when you feel like you can't control your hands, you should just..." I dropped down onto his lap and hooked my arm around his neck, "Sit on 'em."

The nameless-es chuckled and I felt Ade unclench his fists and relax his frame a teensy bit. He made no move to pull his hands out from under my ass, just turned them palm up and slid 'em so one was squarely underneath and the other was holding my thigh, fingers curled around to pull me closer against him.

I put my chin on his shoulder and whispered, "Forgive me?"

He pressed his cheek against mine and whispered back, "How can I not? I could forgive you anything right now."

I sat up, gave him a cheeky smile and stuck the smoke back in his mouth. Utilizing my free hand I fished around in my cleavage for the goodies. Taking my arm from around his neck, I broke off a fat crumb, loaded the stem and traded his Camel for crack-pipe. He took it in his teeth and tilted his head back so the rock wouldn't fall out. He sat absolutely still while I dug around in his pants and pulled out his...lighter heheh. I sparked it and held the flame for him, after all, his hands were occupied! *wink*

When he couldn't hold any more, I took the glass from his mouth and brought my lips to his. I held them a hairsbreadth away, not quite touching but close enough for him to shotgun me. He blew the smoke into my mouth and I sucked in, trying to capture as much of it as possible.

I don't know when it happened but he closed the distance, kissing me tentatively while I held in the hit. I may have held it in a tad longer than necessary, I wanted to enjoy this first and in all probability, last kiss from Adrian. I let him deepen it, I mean why not? The damage was already done.

He tasted of cigarettes and tequila and...fuck, a whole lot of trouble! Basically irresistible. I blew out, the smoke evaporating as I kissed him back. His hand had crept under my shirt and was slowly stroking up and down my spine.

The resulting goose bumps brought me crashing back down to earth and I started to pull away. He murmered, "Uh-uh" and held me tighter, delivering yet another series of devastating kisses. I let it go on for another minute and then broke away, I was fast losing control of the situation. Turning my face, I put my head on his shoulder and tried to catch my breath...I was very definitely breath-less! My heart was hammering in my chest and my skin felt tingly all over. I'm sure some of that can be attributed to the coca but for the most part it was Adrian. He was breathing a lil heavy himself, one hand still gliding over my back and the other clutching onto my jeans. We stayed that way, neither one of us saying a word, just...panting, haha.

The spell was broken when a nameless called out, "Who says crack ain't sexy? You two look like a teaser for base-head Skin-a-max!"

I turned and tried to summon up a little righteous indignation but ended up laughing instead. I silently thanked no-name for making an awkward situation into something comical. I eased myself off Adrian's lap until I was sitting beside him on the ancient bench seat.

Taking inventory, I saw that aside from curling my arm around his neck, I had managed to keep my hands to myself. I was still in possession of the pipe, rock and lighter. I also noticed that my bra felt curiously loose...nimble fingered fucker!

I turned my back to Ade, looked over my shoulder and drawled, "Could ya?"

He grinned at me and slid his hands under my t-shirt, skimming his fingers around to the front and adjusting the cups before going back and hooking it up.

Shivering, I sat back, tucked all the paraphernalia into my boobs and said, "Thank you, very thorough."

"My pleasure" he replied, winking at me and popping his gum, er...my gum.

"Daaaaaang!" cried out an unidentified homie, "You should give her the gum back too homeboy! Give it back the way you got it...real sloooooow!"

I shook my head and looked at Ade, his response being to stick his tongue out, my gum sitting on the end of it. Glancing at our audience, I rolled my eyes and then thought, why not? I decided to go all porn stylie and threw my leg over both of his. Grabbing his shoulders, I pulled myself up and over so I was straddling his lap. I leaned in and sucked the gum off his tongue, dry humping his legs for effect, making it look way more obscene that it actually was.

"Fuck YESSSS!" vato#1 called out, clapping his hands, "That's what I'm talking about!"

"Shit yeah!" added vato#2, joining in the applause, "I think I gotta go jerk off now!"

"Ooooookay, " I responded, jumping off Adrian, "I am SO outta here!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him up so we could go back inside.

Right then Maniac stuck his head out the back door, "Fuck primo," he called back over his shoulder as he struggeled to avoid puppy kisses, " Your perros smell like barf!"

I let out an unintentional snort and clapped my hand over my mouth. Maniac eyed me suspiciously and then peered at the nameless-es who were giving us a standing ovation and shouting, "Again, again!"

Staring pointedly at our clasped hands, he squinted one eye at me and asked , "Que pasa con esos bueys?" * What's up with those fools?

"Nada pregunton! Attiende tus negocios y deja me los mios!" * Nothing nosy! Mind your business and let me worry about mine!

We followed him back inside and I was sure to pry my hand away from Adrian's before we encountered Loco. Things were gonna be touchy enough without giving him more reasons to act like a psycho.

Hmmm, looks like this is turning into a mini-series, must be the thwarted author coming out in me heh. I suppose that's what happens when you've been clued into the fact that your writing blows, oddly enough, by someone who can't seem to stop reading it. Funny how that works huh?

Tune in for Part tres...if y'all can force yourselves to suffer through more literary ineptitude.

Hasta Luego Amores,

~Melody Lee, (crack) Cocaine-cowgirl and recent star of Skin-a-max's, "Base-heads in Heat"

American Me...gone retarded! Part uno

Me laying in someone's bed, doesn't matter who, it's not important and I don't remember anyway.

So we rolled up to Loco's place and I was already feeling jumpy. I had managed to keep the boys from hitting the Cryssy on the ride up (no easy feat) so the only thing I was amped on was stupidity. I lagged behind Joker and Adrian and grabbed Maniac so we could have a little powow before going inside.
He was smirking at me, so I reached out and pinched him, I was so not in the mood for his buffoonery! He jumped back and said, "Cabrona! What the fuck did you do that for?"
"Because you're enjoying this even though you know it's not a good idea! You dick, why the hell didn't you tell me we were coming here? The last time I saw your psycho cousin, he tongue raped my throat!"
"That wasn't the last time heheh, that was before...."
"Fuckin retardado what difference does it make? Point is that it happened, is he gonna trip on me and Adrian?"
"Fuck if I know, what do I look like, Rip Torn?"
"What? That makes NO sense! It's Rip Taylor you moron!"
"Whatever, that joto with the glitter, you know what I mean."
"Ugh, I can't deal with you right now! Are you gonna be a chickenshit and forget I'm a homegirl if your family gets outta control?"
"Chica, I ain't no chickenshit, don't sweat it, he'll be cool..."
Loco's ears musta been burning because he chose that moment to stick his head out the door and call us inside. He seemed to be in a decent mood (see cracked-out beyond belief) and I tried to relax, resisting the urge to throw his arm offf my shoulder. I looked for Ade as soon as we got inside and saw him leaning against the wall in the living room, waiting for me. SO cute!
Really I shoulda known better, the tension in the air was exacerbated by the people huddled around crack stems, puffing away. I started to walk to Adrian, trying to slither out from under Loco's arm but he grabbed me by the belt loops and pulled me back. I was already cognizant of sweaty cholo prints appearing all over my anatomy, this was taking a turn for the worst. I didn't even have the dubious protection of Rainman's presence, at least that would have kept L in check, he wouldn't want to fuck a business contact.
I was maneuvered back onto the couch and found myself in the hot seat as he asked me," Why you don't come around no more? You come here with the huerro (Adrian) but you can't come kick it with me?"
I tried scooting back but he just moved closer. "I haven't been going out at all" I told him," just keeping my ass home..."
He leaned back, "That ain't what I heard, I heard you been going to Espy and fucking around with that fool Jesse, that's a chump move girl, you know that tecate shit ain't no good."
I took a series of deep breaths, trying to stay calm. I was halfway successful when he added, "You need somebody to get you straight, that chiva is poison and you're better than that. Your old man don't keep you in line you need a..."
"Real man?" I ground out, fighting to maintain my composure. I glanced up at Adrian and saw him measuring the sitch. Maniac was so engrossed in our conversation that he was actually leaning forward on the edge of his seat, I wanted nothing more than to reach out and pinch him again! If I didn't get control of this it was gonna get ugly quick! I decided that I would hafta distract Loco before A did something stupid, after all, I was fairly sure that he wouldn't stab me with a carpentry implement.

It's not what you think although I'm sure blowing him would have been equally effective; I chose confrontation over fellatio. "Yeah, I've heard you say that before, matter of fact you've said it every time I've been by! It's getting old sweetheart, your CD's skipping, maybe if I smack you it'll change up?"

I heard Joker murmur, "Oh shit!" about the same time that Maniac let out a snort of laughter. Loco gave him a look and turned to me, "You sayin you gonna smack me heina?"

I stood up and took a step back (I may be crazy but I ain't stupid!),"You heard me and I'm not your heina, remember that fool. You're taking a whole lot for granted considering we've never been naked together. NO, I take that back because even the guys who have fucked me know better than to try and tell me what I do and don't need."

"That's 'cause they're a bunch of pussies heina, they don't got the huevos to tell it straight. They all eat your shit and when you're done they just sit back and wag their tails like a bunch of perros, waiting for more." He pointed at Adrian," Check that pendejo over there, cruising around with blue balls just 'cause he's too much of a pussy to do anything about it. Oye Adrian, no tengas esperanzas que esta loca te va dar un pedaso, esa no quere chavos, necessita..." *translates to: Listen Adrian, don't hold out hope this crazy bitch is gonna break you off, homegirl doesn't want little boys she needs...

"A REAL MAN???" I spat out, "Un propio hombre que sabe como controlar una perra venenosa como yo?" *A real man who knows how to control a poisonous bitch like myself?

I felt like the top off my head was gonna explode! Ade pushed off the wall and started coming at Loco but Jokes and a couple of guys I didn't know held him back, "Get him the fuck outta here and keep him out!" I yelled at Joker, "I'll be Godamned if he gets himself stuck over this shit!"

He was still talking smack to Loco when they dragged him from the house and L called out, "Que te dije huerro? No quere mamalones hahaha!" *What did I tell you whiteboy, she don't want no tittybabys.

I hated chopping off his balls like that but what could I do? These fools would cut him down as soon as look at him or worse, I didn't want to be responsible for that, no way.

I waited for Joker to come back (minus Adrian) and then turned my displeasure on the cholo fuckwad standing before me, "You..." I choked out, "are the most insufferable....the most overbearing, delusional, pompous..."

"Orale Joker?" I heard Maniac whisper, "Que quere disir un pom-pus? Is that good?"

I almost lost it and started laughing when I heard Jokes say,"No burro, it's not good! Shut the fuck up and stop asking pendejeras!*muttering* Un pom-pus....pinche retardado!"

"Oye primo why the hell is everybody calling me retardado today?" Maniac asked Loco, effectively turning the attention away from me and onto himself.

"That's 'cause you are, homes."

"Simon?"

"Simon!"

I let out an exasperated sigh and rolled my eyes at the room in general but was totally relieved that Maniac had come through for me. Loco was so rocked-out, he had crack-head ADD and forgot we were arguing, "So heina, I was just telling you that you need to come stay with me so you can get straight and stop fucking with that chiva."

"Grrrr, you live in a rock-house fool! How would you suggest I get clean here?"

"I could think of something to keep you busy..."

"Simon?"

"Simon!"

"You two are gonna make me regurgima...puke!" Maniac was less than pleased by our chummy banter, I don't think he trusted it. I flipped him off, made a face at him then said, "OK fuckers, whose holding my rock?" Disaster had been averted...for the time being and I needed to get intoxicated...PRONTO! I also needed to find out what they did with Adrian and just how pissed he might be at me...lil old innocent me!

OK, enough for now, I'm not sure how much more homie-speak I can relate here without feeling like an absolute moron. They really do talk like that, it's not verbatim, but it's close enough and I revert back to it so easily when I'm there. What can I say, it's the Mexi-cunt in me.

So Imma go now, I'm kinda spazzed out because my left thumb has gone numb for no apparent reason. Maniac says it's because I have it stuck up my ass 90% of the time but I'm gonna say no, that's not it.

Kisses,

~M

Cholo-cide as a worthwhile pursuit.

OK so it just so happens that every time I try and stay home so I can get straight for a few days my phone rings. I get a call or a text asking me to go fuck around and if I feel like total shit (or even if I don't) I end up going out. I got a text from Adrian asking if I felt like kicking back with him and Maniac...
I considered the offer 1) because Adrian is a hot little shit 2) cause the thought of getting something in me sounds really good ( I mean dope, pervs, not dick) 3) because Casey is asleep and I'm b-o-r-e-d.
I have vowed not to do any speed and Ade promised dilaudid if I ventured out the front door. I don't have to drive, I don't hafta babysit and I don't hafta worry about gakked out cunts getting in my face. So if everything sounds so cherry, why the fuck am I in the back of some random Bronco at 1am, making my way towards Cuba?
Yeah He forgot to mention that he's been staying in Loco's crack-den and that the stash of injectables is there.
So I'm riding back here with him next to me, writing this on Maniac's new mini and wishing we weren't already 45 minutes down the 550. He looks damn fine tho and is being his usual adorable self. Joker is driving and Maniac is in the front, enjoying the fact that for once, I'm in the back. I'm cranky and feel like I might commit cholo-cide before the night is over. To top it off he keeps playing his crap music and if I hafta take much more Pitbull, I'm gonna lose it!
The thought of sidling past Loco holds little appeal as I'm fairly sure that Cap'n Save-a-ho is gonna take offense as soon as he realizes I'm hangin with Ade for the night. This is gonna be a blast, I can already tell. Perhaps I will cozy up to the Cap'n just long enough to score some rock, I did promise no crissy and I'm gonna need something to dull the senses. Don't know if I trust getting loaded around him, I've been molested in my sleep too many times and I don't feel like I need to add another to the list.
I suppose we'll see what happens when I get there. I have no doubt that Adrian will try and ride to my rescue and get a screwdriver in the neck for his efforts...right between the sexy Black Flag bars I love so much!*sigh* I'm really hoping I don't hafta make nice with Loco to avoid unpleasantness, I mean blood might be fun but not when it's gushing out of Ade's jugular. Maniac is too much of a pussy to go against his cousin and Jokes is too loyal so I'm basically fucked. Let's just hope that remains figurative and not literal, Casey will have kittens if I get tainted by cholos (or anyone for that matter). Oh well, I guess Fat Mike could always use some brothers and sisters hahahaha, I think I'm getting a lil hysterical, I just giggled out loud and Ade looks concerned. I better wrap this up, we're almost there. I'll update later if I am able.
Wish me luck.
The thus far unsullied by cholos Melody Lee
Ugh forgot to post this but fuck it, it's up now.

Pain for for the sake of hurtin' and some questions answered

Well I'm back sorta and I guess I should write now......er yeah I'll think of something. I'm debating a trip to Durango next weekend because Adrian's dilaudid connect is s'posed to be getting a FAT package of Mex brown from Cali and I don't think I'm quite strong enough to resist. We'll see...
It's funny that I called myself a masochist in my last voice blog because I never really considered myself to be one. Though I guess in technical terms a masochist isn't the same thing as a submissive. Sub I am NOT! I dig pain tho....sometimes but it has to be mutually and spontaneously inflicted, none of that master and servant crap, that's just lame! I have an unhealthy fascination with blood but that's probly normal considering what it means to an H addict. Most of us equate blood with a shot so of course it's gonna be attractive.
I bring up the masochist thing because if you think about it, this constant roller coaster I'm on is the definition of glutton for punishment. I wait just long enough to feel ok and then I run right out and cop another bag, knowing that in a couple days it'll start all over. Stupid me but whatever, in my mind the end justifies the means and until I feel differently, things are gonna continue that way. I don't really care what anyone else thinks of this cycle, cause for the most part, I don't really care what anyone else thinks period! I'm selfish and my own opinion is what's important.
I get so much shit for the stuff I write and yet....I could just write nothing. I choose to open myself up to ugly criticism out of some hyper-need for attention that probably has a psychological root that I'm unwilling to recognize because I believe psychology to be "..the disease for which it claims to be the cure" ~Krauss
Not really but I fucking love the way that sounds and it suits my purpose. I tend to adore anything that suits my purpose and also succeeds in offending people without any real effort.
So I haven't answered alot of my comments and I thought to address some now.
For the record, Gleds is right, I don't enjoy beating people up....ok that's a lie but just because I like to scrap doesn't mean I go around picking on innocent bystanders. There's a big fucking difference between being a bully and not taking people's shit. If you would care to look back over my previous fight episodes, you'll see that I rarely start these things. I just step it up, instead of exchanging dirty looks for an hour, I confront the issue head on. If they persist in being assholes then I just clock 'em in the mouth, can't say I didn't give fair and ample warning.
There's nothing wrong with aggression, it's misplaced aggression that causes problems. You won't ever catch me beating down old grannies because they looked at me sideways. It's the bitches who imagine themselves to be hard as fuck and use that belief to try and intimidate me that get my attention. I'm not saying that I'm a badder bitch than everyone else, on the contrary, I've gotten my ass beat PLENTY of times, it's just that I haven't let it scare me. So I get the shit kicked outta me, so what? At least I stood up for myself.
That's one thing you learn early on in this game, you get more respect for taking the beating than you do for running away. I learned it well because it's hard enough for girls to get respect in the drug world as it is. You don't rat, you don't run from fights (unless you're getting shot at) and you don't bang your connects for dope, it's bad for business. Even when I was working the street I never fucked the connects, I never had to. I'd built up a good enough rep to get credit if I needed it and that was because of the things listed above.
So yeah, I'm a scrappy bitch but I'm not a bully and as Rufus pointed out, why the fuck should any of these anons care what I do with my time and money? If they had it their way most of 'em would see me incarcerated or expired of some communicable disease. Too bad God ain't listenin bitches, try those prayers another day....no offense Brother Frankie, that wasn't directed at you.
Oh and Regi, I see what you're saying but am a bit worried that your vagina doesn't feel clean to begin with. Showers are your friend, never forget that. Just kidding Reg, I'm sure your vag smells like petunias, whatever that smells like.
Skillz, girl, we def have a lot in common, I'd hate to see the havoc if we ever ended up in the same zip code haha. I take that back I'd LOVE to see it!
Oh and Rufus, I expect to see photos of you in your new "cooze" themed shirt!
So there we are, I managed to fill yet another post with nothing and still make it worth reading, is that talent or what? Oh and anons, before you go off about what a talent-less bitch I am, remind yourself that you read this through and through. Even if you hate me, you still read me and that's a notch in my attention whoring belt, whether you choose to believe it or not.
Adios muthafuckas,
XOXO
~Melody Lee

Never underestimate a horny, lonely man with a wallet full of credit cards and a hard-on!

The title of this post reflects the answer I gave a male friend of mine who asked the naive question, "Why the fuck would someone pay for phonesex?"
He was somewhat disturbed to think that every time I turn on my lines I get at least 15 calls in a 4 hour period (sometimes less if they last longer). Of course I have multiple listings and a pretty solid customer base but I still get a fair amount of new callers.
The whole concept seemed to bother him and although he was sitting right beside me as I took these calls, he still found it hard to believe that men would pay good money to essentially jerk themselves off to what amounts to an interactive porno.
I gave him the answer cited above and proceeded to take one of the most fucked-up hilarious humiliation calls EVER! I'm pretty much shameless in everything I do, so verbally abusing masturbating morons in front of an audience is no sweat haha, I'm awesome like that. I'm going to show you the text from my fem-domme listing to give you an idea of what a caller to that particular line can expect and let you marvel at the fact that they read it and still place the call. After that is a transcript of the call that resulted in the icky pic at the bottom of this post. Anyone who is offended by the sight of unattractive penises and wrapping materials should stop reading now. Heh, that's what I thought you pervy sons a bitches, scrolled right down didn'tcha? Don't sweat it, I'd a done the same, read on.
Listing text:

Don't let my cutesy listing fool you. I'll shred whatever scrap of self esteem you have and sound totally sweet the whole time I'm doing it.
That's right I'll be sweet as pie...as I'm making you wish you were never born! Come and play with me, see how long it takes for me to OWN your bitch ass! I'm a born switch, especially when it comes to pathetic losers like you, I just can't help myself. It takes a real man to top this bitch and all I see here is chicken shit!
You're the kind of fucktard that has nothing better to do than troll Niteflirt looking at all the women he can never hope to get. You've been reduced to paying girls for talk and even then you can't hide the fact that you're an utter waste of space. HAH,I can smell L-O-S-E-R from the moment I answer the phone, which is kinda sad but mostly funny. Can you really blame me for laughing at you? Take a look in the mirror, you pin-dick sack of dog crap! YOU are a sorry excuse for a man and it's no wonder women mock you.
You've been getting the shit kicked out of you your whole life and it's warped you into a sexual deviant who's itty-bitty dick gets hard when a girl humiliates him! Don't try and deny it, your inadequate genitalia is even now attempting to rise as you read this. Worthless, poorly endowed AND impotent? Aren't you a fucking prize! Haha, I wouldn't fuck you with someone else's vagina!
Quite the social retard aren't you? If you can find the balls(tho I sincerely doubt you possess any), pick up the phone and call me, I'll show you what I'm all about. Oh and you better start explaining yourself as soon as I answer the line, give me something worth laughing at or I'll hang up on you. My time is valuable and you're not paying me NEARLY enough to tolerate a trembling wimp who can't find the courage to speak up. Got it?

Ribbon call:
Me: Tell me what I wanna hear jerk-off, before I hang up on you.
Caller: My name is Dave, I'm a 44 year old virgin wimp loser. I'm really a loser, this is not a fantasy for me, not role play, this is my pathetic life and I can only think about girls treating me like total crap, I really have no life, no friends, no love life, I sit around in my apartment all day and surf the Internet for femdom sites and call niteflirt.
Ideally I'm looking for a girl who can get inside my head and learn all my weaknesses so she can completely destroy my self-esteem. I beg you to really hurt me physically and mentally. I'm into femdom and humiliation, but not into gay or bi sex or into feminization.
Me:Well Dav-id, I have been known to be a lil vicious, especially when dealing with pathetic, couch potato,wastes of space, like yourself. From what you've told me, it's no wonder you're still a virgin, to tell you the truth, I'm kinda surprised you don't still live with your parents.
Caller: I know princess, I don't deserve your attention. I don't deserve the privilege of hearing your beautiful voice....
Me: Shut the fuck up retard! Did I say you could speak? Since you're so eager to use your mouth why don't you come over here and clean my shoe? I think I stepped in dog shit earlier and I figure you hafta be good for something. Crawl over here and lick the shit off the bottom of my shoe!
Caller: *panting* YES PRINCESS! *slurping noises*
Me: Let me tell you something D for dickless .....OH MY GOD! Are you touching yourself??? You disgusting little worm! Stop that immediately before I go get my boyfriend to come and show you what a real dick looks like. Your shit is so tiny it's not even a small penis, it's a big clit, take your thumb and forefinger off of it or I'll burn it off with my cigarette and end this problem once and for all!
Caller: *wheezing* YES PRINCESS! Please forgive me, I'll do anything you say I'll....
Me: I know that you moron, I own every inch of you, from your receding hairline to the tips of your smelly toes. Ugh, that's a pretty picture! The image of you masturbating is...*gag* I just vomited in my mouth *spitting noise* Eat it!
Caller:*slurp*
Me: Say thank you, bitch!
Caller: Oh thank you princess I..
Me: Nauseating little twerp, as penance for being such a fucking idiot, you will tie a ribbon around your hideous little weenis and mail it to me so I can post it on my blog and show everyone what a sissy loser you are.
Caller: On your blog? Noooooo, I beg you princess...
Me: NOW GEEK!
Caller: Y-yesss p-princess.
Me: I'm over this, you should tribute me just for wasting my precious time with your ridiculous panting! My friends are gonna die laughing when I show it to them, they love hearing about my nf losers. I'm not surprised girls can see you for the dickless wimp you are, Christ, I really can smell failure and desperation from here!
15 minutes later:
Caller: Thank you Princess, that was a great call. I have attached a pic of my little dick with a ribbon and will send it now.
Me: Good dog, now go and fetch me feedback that says Princess M owns Dickless Dave. 5stars, BITCH! I'll be posting your pic soon. *click*
E-mail from caller with attached pic : Yes Princess M, just did so.



So for those of you bemoaning the fact that I've been neglecting my updates and stories, there ya go haha, my gift to you. An absurdly long post with a gag-worthy dick-pic attached, am I outstanding or what?
Mmmhmm, yeah, I'll back later. Count on it.
MUAH!
~Melody Lee, your Fem-domme for all seasons.